Two Pints Of Lager And A Falafal Please

  I glanced across at the lasted posts on Blogs. Below is what I found.

• Spanish police have dismantled an alleged network of Colombian hitmen in a case
• Venezuela Seizes 5 Tons of Marijuana Near Colombian Border
• Homeless man to get more than $100,000 for good deed
• Britons among 19 dead as hot air balloon crashes in Egypt
• Eating a Mediterranean diet 'cuts your heart and stroke risk by a third'
• Video appears to show French children kidnapped in Cameroon
• Man, 23, gets 60 years for rape, child abuse
• Seven to hang for Sudan child rape
• April Jones: ex lifeguard Mark Bridger faces trial over schoolgirl's murder
• Child murderer Subhan Anwar killed in Long Lartin Prison
• Japan hangs three death row inmates
• UK loses top AAA credit rating for first time since 1978
• Eurozone downturn and deficits to persist
• Mali conflict: 'Many die' in Ifoghas mountain battle
• Man sentenced to 10 years in prison over child pornography
• China acknowledges 'cancer villages'
• Rape and murder of three sisters in Maharashtra
• White House promises trade war on countries behind cybercrime
• Pistorius hearing told of 'shots, screams, more shots'
• Policeman held on burglary charge in Nepal

There is only one item that I would want to read. The rest are gloom and doom. Rapes, murders and financial mayhem.

I bet you can guess which one I read. It is the only one that would put a smile on your face. Don't we wish there were more honest people like him?

Which raises the point. What if I had found the ring?

Would I or wouldn't I?

So Janet,

What first attracted to you the Qatari Billionaire Wissam Al Mana?

An Italian friend of mine was happy this morning. He laughed as he told me that a comedian had come third in the Italian polls.

I gave him a blank stare and informed him that I am British.

We have a comedy double act ruini.... SORRY. Running our country.

This thingy is 5 years in the making......

I was going to start this bloggy thing 5 years ago. No, really. I was. Instead I bought a house in Spain and sort of got side tracked. You know how it is. Spain is home now. Good, bad, warts and all. Let's face it. If you are from the UK then be FROM the UK. Not IN the UK.

Maybe I am being slightly disingenuous to good old Blighty but I believe I have the right as a once upon a time tax payer and ex soldier of the Crown to say what I want to, as long as I am not poking people in the eye with a sharp stick.

Don't get me wrong. I love the UK. But at the same time I hate what the UK has become. On the infrequent visits I make I feel like a stranger. Possibly because I am. I think I have spent no more than 6 years in the UK since I was 17. That was the first time I managed to venture abroad and I have not stopped travelling since.

Ok, this thing is going to be a bit disjointed to start with. Probably to finish with as well. I am not sure if I have a story to tell or just lots of little bits of rubbish to put on here. We will have to see how it goes. A story has a start, middle and end. That makes this a blog as it has none of the above.

Here is something that has recently poked me in the eye…..

A British couple are to be deported back to Britain from Australia for breaching the visa regulations. They moved 2.5 miles to another post code….

A British family are to be deported back to Britain from New Zealand because the father was diagnosed with a brain tumour. The NZ government is concerned about his inability to work and the medical costs.

A British man, who has lived in Australia for 40 years since he was six, is to be deported back to Britain due to having a criminal record.

Meanwhile, back in the land that has lost its way…

In 2014 Britain is expecting to receive up to 250,000 Bulgarians and Romanians when they gain the right to live and work unrestricted in the UK.

Now go and sit in a quiet corner with a biscuit and a cup of tea. No. Make that a mug. That’s what we are…