The view from the back

  Now any of you kind folks who have had the stamina to follow this fine piece of literature form the start  will know that I'm not one for change , however I am a willing bit player in this farce ( coming to your theatre soon ) being the homeowners  you would expect that the lovely wife and I would be the leading couple in this show , like George and Mildred of 11 peacock ave. with our new best friends as the stooges , not so , the big guy up there has thrown in 2 new stars to take over the show. 

The plot was simple too simple some might say , take one family of 5 and a case of money out of a rented house and displace 2 old farts from the nest of 30 years giving them said case of cash as compensation - EASY 1 house 2 couples 1 case of cash . Now we're not talking mansions , smack dealers do bigger trades in car parks if you believe the papers . So why do 2 trained ( used loosly ) briefs on fixed fees need to turn a weeks work in to - wait for it - 11 to 16 weeks work what the !?#^ . They say its the searches , searches the house was new on an estate 30 yrs ago we bought it and have been in since then we have had 2 extensions done and supplied the occupancy Certs. That can be checked on line with NEDDC. It's lease hold with just over 970 yrs left  our brief has supplied land registry plans all agreed with our little plot outlined , so what the ?!@" could take another 10 weeks ??? 

Having found a rental and paid a deposit very soon the bond and fee will be due at that point we'll be paying for 2 places , the shippers want 3 weeks notice and to cap it all the ferries to northern Spain look very full so we my have to go the long way around , the bank can't open an account until they see us and the land lord wants cash for the bond and a signature . 

Is the sun over the yard arm yet