Yesterday was the day, our 5th day out in Almeria to see the men in black at the office of the aliens. As always it was busy but so much more than usual every seat was taken , approximately 200 plus 50% more must have been standing around. Our hearts sank , it was just after 11am our slot was between 12 & 1pm the only way to move this lot before close at 3pm was a lot of no's.
The crowd was a wider mix then usual, it was as if the last transport from SETI alpha five had landed there looked to be every alien you can think of and then some. One guy who looked possibly Egyptian was attracting some long stares as he wandered the room with a 25L tub of exterior paint, putting it down and wandering off to chat to friends, I recon it would have been a different picture had we been in London, but security were unconcerned .
While we waited the lovely wife and I discussed the recent advice we had received about our visit, which I'm glad I wasn't paying for, as it sounded so implausible it should have been in a forum some where. It was suggested that our medical insurance was unacceptable due to it excluding anything we had been treated for in the last 2 years prior to acceptance for 2 years, my occupational pension that kicks in next spring was also thought to be no good as they only recognise state pensions, we would also have to have a contract to buy a property as with out this their is no need to have an NIE and recommended we missed the slot to consider our plans.
When we left this advisor in Vera the lovely wife was in tears and yes you guessed it covered in a rash and itching ! I tried to calm my lady by explaining that I thought that the advisor was talking rubbish but what did I know ? So thanks miss arcade advisor we had a lovely evening arguing the lovely wife was illuminated to put Blackpool to shame, the outcome I said we have an appointment and for the price of the diesel I was going .
So here we are, now sat listening to the numbers being called out in silence, no jolly sing along this time. It was well after 1pm when we went in to see a lady in black ! Who welcomed us in English and Spanish, steady it's a plan to wrong foot us , be careful. I had my own plan to wrong foot them any way, unknown to the lovely wife who had agreed to say little and offer nothing, I was going to ask for what we need rather than what we want our NIE.
Please bear with me through this as it's worth recording.
So in a mixture of Spanish and English on both parts we started our dance;
Pleasantries done with I said in Spanish I need a NIE and just offered the application form, she looked and said no, residencia ? No just NIE , you live in Spain , No just holiday we go back soon, you have house in England? No, you have house in Spain ? No. Why NIE ? We need new bank account to put house money in. Wait!
She beckons across a older gent and they set off like only the Spanish can, he turned to us and said softly , how long have you been in Spain ? 4 months ! The lady's English got a whole lot better you can only stay 3 months without registering ! YES got yer ! I said to the guy I know this we have tried but you keep saying make another appointment so we do and we wait ! "Check"
The guy put his hand on my shoulder and said your nicked ! No he actually said amigo follow me it just felt like your nicked ! We walked across the office I thought I was going to get some "coaching" like I once did by customs in Gambia LOL. We actually went and interrupted a lady who was dealing with a couple he spoke softly to her and then lead me to an empty table and offered me a seat he said I'll fetch you wife . By now we had drawn the attention of half the office.
After a short wait at the naughty desk the lovely wife was shaking and lite like Vagas, he returned with the lady he'd spoke to and asked us whilst translating if we had any paperwork stamped ? No , would you like to registrar ? Yes ! The lady butted in papers no good ! I raised my voice a little and said No mas , desmasiado ( no more , too much ) the lovely wife started to well up so I put my arm around her to comfort her and whispered start crying , she blurted out I don't want to start crying so I gave her a squeeze and said clearly don't let them upset you ! I turned to them and opened my folder and said look and put down copies of every document we had then said we have been here 5 times ! 5 ? Yes every time you say NO and we go , No and we go ! I made them look at the bank stamp on the EX18, dated 6 sept he was obviously surprised , he asked again 5 times here ? YES 5 times.
They stepped away and spoke, he beckoned for the lady to return to her desk and for us to follow him, so off down the office we go , past the guy we saw last time who wanted our medical insurance in Spanish and offered seats with a young guy who after receiving instructions from my new amigo greeted us in good clear English with you would like to have your NIE and residency ? YES WE WOULD !
He browsed through the papers, seemingly finding all he needed in ample copies, he never asked for the insurance in Spanish ( wasted €60 ) he didn't look for my pension papers only our sabadel statement that we pay our bills with , not much in there ? Nor the HSBC with the cash in ? Not even our rental agreement just the padron , the "contract " word was never mentioned . The printer whirred and out popped 4 pages, 2 in the bin , and 1 for him and 1 for me , he stapled all the copies together and turned to the lovely wife who by now was returning to her now normal denier of medium tan .
He picked out copies of the identical documents and in no time the printer was whirling again , we had swapped two bundles of papers for a page each in Spanish ? He pointed to the top of the page where two things caught my eye the word residencia and a long number starting with NIE ! You need to go to reception and get a new number with a N , just show her the letter and then we print your card.
And as easy as that it was done ! I don't know about the wife but I nearly cried ! I thanked him and shook his hand as we left for reception my amigo came over and ok? Si señor , mucho gracias , muy bien .
The lovely wife carried both letters as we approached the reception now strangely quiet , it was after 3pm after all. The receptionist spotted the letters and called ahead uno ? No dos , dos muy bien in a slightly excited voice , are they on commission ? She printed the numbers N26 & N27 , so many aliens such a low number ,
We sat alone in the now empty waiting room, where had they all gone ? Had some one popped in and said NO and pointed at the door ? Or had the guy with the paint barrel scared them off ? We'll never know my numbers up guess what I'm back with the lady who said our papers are poor ! Don't look cocky now . Your wife ? Pardon señora una momento I waved to the lovely wife and beckoned her in , we were the only 3 in the office 2 aliens and a spaniard who was now clipping out our cards , a smile a thank you and de nada , the aliens got their landing pass .
Stunned don't cover it , we went because we could , it was going to be a dead loss but could say we tried . The lovely wife will surly get a oscar nomination that will look great on her CV when the face cream interview arrives . CHECK MATE !