The marina at Guardamar del Segura is, like all such places, a beautiful setting. Quiet, relaxing, an ideal venue for dreaming the boat-iful dream. Like my own fantasy of buying the biggest luxury yacht imaginable and claiming the title Mast of the Big Spenders.
Unfortunately, even a rowing boat is out of my price range, so I’ve reluctantly accepted that I’ll never be quite up there with the Roman Abramoviches of this world.
The Russian billionaire's 154 metre megayacht Eclipse cost an estimated £340 million and I reckon he'd happily build an identical one for Jose Mourinho if the Special One ever loses his ability to walk on water.
But that's all water under the Stamford Bridge, so back to reality.
Car access to Guardamar Marina is by ticket, with payment on departure.
Armed with the ticket issued to us automatically on entry, my family and I drove the 100 metres or so to the exit barrier, assuming that was where we had to pay.
No such luck.
A sign in two languages, neither of which was English, made the departure procedure perfectly clear. Nearly as clear as mud, in fact.
I mean, any idiot who understands Gibberish knows exactly what is meant by the words: 'Communicate that payment will effective tiket (sic) offices at port'.
Ten minutes later, the barrier went up and we were on our way. We had eventually worked out that we were supposed to pay 200 metres away at the Port Office before leaving – then return to the departure barrier and activate it with the validated ticket.
Perfect. Just what one needs to complate a relaxing afternoon.
Anyway, folks, if you fancy nipping down to Guardamar Marina, I suggest you save yourselves the hassle. Leave your car before you reach the entrance barrier and walk the last 100 metres. It will make the boat-iful dream much more enjoyable.
Not to mention provide you with an extra euro towards that £340 million megayacht.