We need to talk about Ex-Pat depression
This is a common problem that I was not aware of when I first moved to Spain, like everywhere, depression is a subject not openly discussed.
You have to remember that however far you travel you will always bring your own personal problems with you, moving abroad is not a magical fix it, far from it. You will still feel anger, sadness, and frustration, but will feel you need to suppress these feelings, because after all, you are now in your dream home living your dream life.
But when you realise that you have given up all the comfort of family and friends, you will no longer be part of the regular family and friendship milestones, and add to that you are in a constant state of confusion, then it is no wonder that we can flounder.
And in fact depression is quite common among ex-pats. Now I am not talking about just feeling a bit down here, I mean the deep gray thoughts and bleakness of depression.
So what can we do when we feel ourselves begin to fall into the pit of despair? Full blown depression requires expert help, but many experts believe you can avoid a descent with a few well planned changes.
Look after yourself, eat well, (healthy eating is a highly regarded aid to mental health). And get loads of exercise, endorphins are released when you get active, and they are very beneficial to managing depression.
Get out of the house, go for a coffee (descaffinado if you cannot manage caffeine), check out all your local shops, chat to the neighbours. Plan day trips to different towns, visit cities, take local buses. Start a hobby, be active, you will feel better afterwards.
Relax, a long hot shower or soak in a bath can do wonders, read a favourite book with your feet up and good music in the background. Breathe deeply,
Avoid substance abuse/alcohol abuse, this will be harder than you think, you are in heavy drinking culture among ex-pats, and alcohol gives an immediate lift but gives a much longer term depressive effect. And the next mornings self loathing is too be avoided.
And what can we do to help others suffering depression?
We need to be aware that we will not know when someone is depressed, they may well be happy smiley people who 'present' as carefree. So what we can do is try and make and make the world a better place for everyone (cue schmaltzy music).
We can start by all of us giving friendly acknowledgments to newcomers. Every one of us has suffered tragedy, the death of parents, partners, siblings, even a child. So we should treat everyone as needing our support and help. Newcomers are very vulnerable and confused, and I have witnessed them being left to the mercy of the predators, because we could not be bothered to help. (When I first arrived in Spain I gave an 'estate agent' 2000 euros as deposit for a flat we wanted to rent, never saw the 'agent' or the money again, but this was in a bar and I was surrounded by ex-pats who knew exactly what was going to happen and not one gave even the slightest hint that the 'agent' was well dodgy. This is the kind of thing that must stop.)
And many ex-pats that have been in Spain for more than ten years have seen the value of their homes plummet, and since Brexit their pensions have reduced by over thirty percent. Those who have not integrated into Spanish society fee " as if they have little control over their lives, this leads to anxiety, the fore runner of depression, so cut them some slack when they start the 'good old days' conversations and complain about everybody and everything.
Let this be your motto:
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
- Courage to change the things I can,
- And wisdom to know the difference.
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Did you suffer from depression after moving to Spain? How did you cope?