newly single at 40ish and living it up? on the Costa

 i know it has been a wee while, after a very busy christmas indeed and unable to blog from my kindle fire , It is harder to write than i thought it would be but on new years day my mother sadly past away and it was a shock as it was a massive heart attack and now i have started to write it seems quite theraputic to write it down, as she was in spain we had to make decisions far quicker than you would if you prepared for it but as it turns out really, it is better as you get all the practical stuff done and get to lay her to rest and all in a few days , which leaves you feeling quite weird and as if it is unreal , however it is really better than you have to wait around for weeks , left in limbo and feeling so hollow, and ringing all the insurances, pensions banks etc seems far less daunting and it is like you are just speaking about a name and not my beloved mother. You really never really know how you feel when you lose a parent, i saw other people and they all looked different after they lose a parent and its true, you do feel slightly different, not sure how but you do, like i decided i should tell people how i felt about them , instead of keeping it to myself, all good ones , cause i found it easy to tell someone how i felt when i disliked them but if i liked them , i think i did not tell them enough but i have now,

So now i have to live and not just whinge ,