In the West between 1 and 2 out of every 3 marriages end in divorce.
In Spain divorce is a relatively new thing, only becoming legal after the death of Franco in 1975 and the return of Spain to a fully functioning democracy in 1978. Yet the divorce rate is even higher at 85%.
[H, H and Z LLP]
The sachet of sugar that came with my coffee this morning proclaimed with a ring of truth about it: "El amor es fisica y el matrimonio es quimica".
Why marriages fail
According to Julia Fernandez writing in SUR recently, the most frequent errors committed in a marriage are:
Waiting for your spouse to change
If there are no signs of this happening it's time to call it a day. Psychologist Lucia Solaun thinks, if you don't end it, "you are continuing with a relationship which is unhealthy or even toxic."
Not setting limits
Setting limits is a way of protecting any relationship. "The limits can be emotional, physical and communicative," says Elena Sanchez, clinical director of yees! "[Such limits are healthy] if they don't seek to control your spouse but protect your own emotional space."
[SLO Health]
Feeling responsible for the well-being of your spouse
This makes it hard to set limits. So, avoid phrases like: 'the family is always the most important thing'; 'love conquers all'; 'you have to hold out because blood is thicker than water'.
Breaking up without a support network in place
Experts agree that divorce has to be a decision made with the head which means don't rush off without somebody to hold your hand.
"Nor should you isolate yourself completely from the rest of the family out of fear of conflict."
[UVA Today]
So, if your marriage is in trouble or you are divorced, you have plenty of good advice to follow.
© The Crazy Guy MMXXVI
Pictures:
Deposit Photos, H H & Z LLP, SLO Health, UVA Today
Thanks:
Elena Sanchez, Lucia Solaun, Paul Whitelock, SUR
Tags:
Deposit Photos, divorce, Elena Sanchez, H H & Z LLP, Julia Fernandez, limit, Lucia Solaun, Paul Whitelock, SLO Health, spouse, SUR, The Crazy Guy, UVA Today