More Wood ?
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
More about Antonio Wood
One of the first things Antonio did to help us was to arrange a gathering of some of the people he had worked with, but like everything Wood, this was to turn out to be not as straight forward as just feeding a group of thirty people.
The date was set, the menu agreed, mostly meat cooked on the 'brasa' open fire, some provided by Wood himself. We did the odd salad and bowl of chips, for those that don't just want meat and bread.
All was going well, everyone had a drink and a full tummy. As I walked into the kitchen with some empty places, our young barmaid was there and very upset. Reluctantly she explained that one of our male customers had pinched her bum. Ok, so bum pinching is a bit of an occupational hazard, but this was a young girl, her first bar job and as of yet she had not gained the experience to deal with these types of sleaze balls. I very rarely have that type of problem these days, wether that is because I am now mid thirties and not late teens or just because I can cope with it or not, I don't know. Our clientele at the beginning mainly, but also a little towards the end of our time, instead of bum pinching, would offer me money in return for services. I was slightly horrified the first time I had to explain to an eighty something man that I was NOT a prostute, his reaction of 'why not' was even more shocking.
Although I have been financially hard up in my life, I have been fortunate enough never to be so desperate to sleep with an unwashed eighty year old, not sure he could afford me anyway!
Back to my upset barmaid. I told her not to serve him again and to show me which man it was. I then went to have a word. This was the first time I meet Lucifer, unfortunately not the last. Lucifer I am guessing is in his mid forties, with not much to show for his years, apart from some grey hair and rotting teeth. He is not good looking, he cleans the streets for the town hall, with little lightly hood of every finding a nice woman to settle down with it is no great surprise, that when a young attractive bum is clearing a table in front of him , the temptation was too great. However not in my bar and not to my staff.
I explained to him, in my bar, no-one touches my staff, and to remember that in future. Of course, he decided this was not acceptable, because he had not touched her. Yes right, my barmaid had made it all up, I don't thinks so.
The other group members that were around him, backed me up and I thought that was the end of it. But he continued to be a pain, nothing major, just mouthy. He was racist which to be fair was pretty much the first time, we had encounter racism in Seron. He didn't like the English, he didn't like us, he didn't like our bar, easy leave then. But no we had this until I refused to serve him, because the situation was escalating. He really didn't like that, Wood had to take him home or to another bar, either way I didn't care, he had gone.
As described in an earlier blog, you don't argue with Wood, he is really someone you want on your side. His strength is just astonishing.
Although Wood can be a very real pain himself, he seemed to want to protect us from others. When he has had to much to drink, he really does become a bit of a nightmare, however better the devil you know. He always stopped his very smutty comments when I told him too.
Still more Wood stories to come.
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Chain Saw Massacre in Serón
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Antonio Wood
What a character, hard to know where to start to tell you about him.
Lets start with his name Antonio is his name and because we have so many Antonio's come into the bar we called him Wood, because he sells wood.
Wood is in his early thirties, as strong as an ox, no stronger. At times his strength seemed super human, as was his ability to drink.
He is also employed by the town hall from time to time to trim trees and cut them down. Why they continue to employ him is beyond me, it is horrific to watch. As he stands at the top of a wobbly ladder, waving a chainsaw around after consuming much to much alcohol to be operating a chain saw. He is also a little chainsaw happy, the first year in the bar, he was clearing the trees in the swimming pool area and decided that the beautiful lilac tree on our terrace needed a trim. He hacked so much off that it took two years to recover.
Let's me explain a bit about his character. He is a male chauvinist, has a very crude sense of humour, likes to drink more than the people around him like him to. However he can be good company, funny and show friendship, unfortunately we only ever glimpsed his better qualities. He also has a reputation for not paying his bar bills, however he alway paid us, he liked to have a tab, even when he had money in his pocket, I think it made him feel important. But he always paid it when he said he would.
Don't get me wrong I actually like the man and I have to say, apart from the inappropriate comments, which he would stop straight away, when I told him off, he never made me feel threatened or acted inappropriately.
Wood was one of the first customers we had, even before we were officially opened.
That first year he was a very regular customer at least two or three times a day and also very helpful. He has extensive knowledge about cooking on open fires and was always willing to share his knowledge to help us out.
Often he would be the last to leave and even more often his wife would come in shouting the odds at him or worse, send one of their two sons in to get Daddy. When this happened I would try to persuaded him, that it might be better just to go home, tomorrow is another day. Mostly he didn't go.
Things escalated with his wife and she would go really mental, if I was working on my own and he was in the bar. She decided that we must be having an affair. Oh, please, really even if I had the time or inclination, which I didn't, Wood would not be on my list. I could not be doing with the very many faults in his character and he is not even good looking or rich.
She decided that throwing drinks and screaming the odds at him wasn't working, so changed her attention to me, calling me all the names under the sun, then would turn to him, throw his drink over him and leave. This although very unpleasant, I could live with.
What happened next I could not live with.
Wood and I were the only people in the bar, by now if this happened I would get him to leave as soon as I could to avoid a scene. I was the other side and end of the bar when she came storming in. Calling me all sorts of words for a hooker, so I explained I was just doing my job and not anything else, my job as a barmaid and that I was NOT a hooker.
She throw his drink at him and left. I told him he had to leave now too, we were closed.
I locked up, got into my car, driving around the sports centre the same as every other night, apart from when I got to the other end, Woods wife was coming at me in her car. I had to swerve to stop her driving start into the side of me.
She then followed me right up my backside for about 3km, flashing and beeping her horn for me to stop, no way was I stopping. I decided I would drive to the Guardia office, but then she vanished.
I was very shaken by the experience, really it is not nice. The next day I told Wood she was barred and if I ever saw her near the bar again I would denounce her.
Barry had a very public word with her at a fiesta and that was the end of her behaviour.
I have only sympathy for the poor woman, I did suggest to Wood that she needed some help, but he didn't agree.
Many more Wood stories to follow ......
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The day finally arrived !
Sunday, July 7, 2013
The day finally arrived
The stage was set, the outside bars set up.
Setting the bar up, was very stressful, as the beer arrived late and we started to flap, it wouldn't be cold enough. People just don't want warm beer.
I was flapping like a broken arm in the wind, we had worked so hard to make sure everything was right and now our supplier was going to let us down.
We did some how manage to get the beer cold enough, think the God of cold beers must have been watching over us.
We decided the best way to deal with a large crowd of people was to put in a ticket system like they have at all Spanish Fiestas, this way all the money would be in one place and make the bar staffs job easier and less chance of mistakes being made.
We had arranged for two amazing young lads to be the warm up act, they had played for us before and are just amazing. In fact Chris is now singing professionally in the states.
The boys turned up nice and early, to make sure that all was well, which it was.
Then 'The Logical Group' arrived I was so nerves that the set wouldn't be right and they wouldn't be able to play, thankfully my fears were unfounded and apart from a small issue with the drum kit, which wasn't what they would have hoped, everything was fine. Lucky they could play the drums we had.
They started to tune up, and we knew we were in for a good night, they were just amazing.
People started arriving, Barry did an intro in Spanish and English, thanking everyone for their support and help, especially the town hall who had pulled all the stops out.
He introduced Chris and Josh and we were on our way.
'The Logical group' ate whilst they played, keeping a table for them had been a slight challenge, although we had a lot, hundreds of chairs, tables were in short supply. But we did it, they ate at a table and enjoyed the Music supplied by the lads. So much so that they kept grabbing me to tell me how good they were.
Chris and Josh as always did us and themselves proud, true professionals.
See for yourself how great they are >
Now was time for the main event, and they didn't disappoint. Normally they wouldn't sing 'Crime of the Century' but I had asked them to, it is Barry's favourite and I had told them he would divorce me if they didn't play it.
Barry was made up,they dedicated it to him.
We had a good turn out, not as overwhelmingly busy as we hoped, but we covered our costs and had a great night. If you like 'Supertramp' then you really have to see 'The Logical Group' there is a reason they are the number 1 'Supertramp' tribute band.
Take a look at just how good they are >
The next day 'The Logical Group' came for lunch, they were playing at a huge festival in Almería that night. We spent a lovely few hours with them, feeding them, chatting and listening to a tiny portion of Barry's overwhelming large Music collection. They really didn't want to leave, which really faltered us.
Thank you to everyone who through there hard work and support which made such a large event in our little bar possible.
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Big plans
Friday, June 28, 2013
Had we bitten off more than we could chew ?
I was starting to think so.
I am never one to play it safe and take the easy option, luckily Barry is normally happy to come along for whatever mad ride is next, it has been known for him to have a few wild ideas, which keeps life interesting and a continuing adventure.
But reality was starting to kick in, we didn't have long to arrange everything and when I received the list of equipment they needed, I almost died. They had emailed it to me in both English and Spanish, but to be fair it may well have been written in Japanese for the amount I could understand. The downside of not being and never having any experience in the music business, is that you have no idea what the equipment is called. Now I was freaking and so was Barry, how could we get this to work ? We had pushed our budget to the limit and beyond, we had excitedly told people we were doing the concert to end all concerts in our little bar, we had the town halls agreement to help and here we were, thinking that's it, can't be done.
Armed with the list I went to speak to the town hall and tell them it couldn't be done and to forget it.
I walked in and explained to Antonio, we can't do this, look at this list, I don't even know what half these things are, let alone where to get them. He took one look at the list, laughted and said what are you worried about, I will get you everything. Oh, okay, you think we can do this ?
Nervously returning to the bar to tell Barry the good news, basically we had no choice, we were doing it and it had to be good, because it was now costing the town hall a lot of money as well as us.
We signed the contract and paid the deposit 'The Logical Group' the best Supertramp tribute band in the whole of Europe if not the World, where coming here. If the equipment was not right they would not play, but we would still have to pay them and have a huge amount of very disappointed and upset customers on our hands, the pressure was well and truly on. No choice we had to pull it off !
This was a mammoth project, ordering stock, sorting out staff, buying food, getting posters made and distributed as far and wide as possible. Accommodation booked for the whole band.
The accommodation was not that difficult as there are very few places I would happy put such a large group of people up in. A customer and a friend has a house at the top of town which he lets out for holiday lets, I went to see it, although access isn't ideal as it is right by the Castle, it fitted every other requirement and bless him, gave it to me at a discounted rate. One more thing handled.
The fateful day was approaching, had we done enough ? Had we ordered enough ?
Only time would tell.
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The Big Splash
Sunday, June 23, 2013
The big splash
We decided that for San Juan on our fourth year we would go for a big SPLASH.
We had the number for Frankie B the lead singer of the seventies pop band 'Heat Wave'. We had met Frankie a few times on our annual holiday to the,as my girls call it 'The Other Spain' or Fuengirola as normal people call it. His singing was always in a different class and he had expressed an interest in playing at our little bar. Our customers loved 70's and 80's music, so we knew we would get a good crowd of locals and with advertising up and down the valley hoped we could pull in loads of new people.
Frankie B first on the left
I emailed Frankie but unfortunately he was unable to sing for us that year, but he did give me the number of an agent. I contacted the agent and he had one Whitney Houston tribute artist that could, for a lot of money do that date. We were unsure, I love Whitney Houston music, but our customers were more Rock n Roll, suddenly it looked risky. Add to that the fact that I looked up this lady on the net and found nothing at all about her, I was worried. So I cancelled her, but my mission had only just began.
Barry with an number of our customers enjoyed a lot of 'Supertramp' music, aha an idea. I started trolling the net and what did I find ? 'The Logical Group' a huge Spanish 'Supertramp' tribute band from Barcelona. They are the best in Europe and travel the world playing, coached by 'Supertramp' themselves, they are huge.
I came to the conclusion that if you don't ask, you don't get and emailed them.
' we have a small bar in Serón, Almería and are looking for a band to play for San Juan, I don't suppose that such a huge and amazing band like yours would consider playing such a tiny venue and for a tiny fee!'
Barry said I was mad and they would never agree to come and if by some fluke they did we wouldn't be able to afford them.
He was wrong.
I had an email back saying they were doing a huge festival the weekend before in Almería city, so although normally wouldn't do a venue like ours as they were driving past, they could do it for a fraction of their normal fee, if we could put them up for the night.
My plan was coming together, now I was excited, this was going to be huge.
But had we bitten off more than we could chew ?
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The Water Fiesta
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
I would like to apologise for the amount of time I haven't written.
The last few months have been extremely difficult for me, due to the sudden death of my Father.
I have spend a large amount of time in England and struggled to get my head round writing, however I am now finding a new kind of normal and that includes sharing with you our incredible journey. Please continue to be patient with me and I will do my best to entertain you.
Thank you for your continuing support.
Okay today I will start by building a picture of arguable the most important fiesta for 'El Bar la Picinia' (the swimming pool bar)
San Juan
The fiesta of water.
The first year in the bar we didn't really get it. The swimming pool had not been cleaned and therefore wasn't open.
We had a number of customers come down looking for a party, wanting to know where the live music and sardines where. We had neither.
For us it was a non event a weekend just like the rest, but a decision was made that night which lead to some amazing parties for the following years.
The second year
We ensured the pool would be open, mainly by continually nagging the town hall. A water fiesta, the pool needs to be open, that is what the town want and the second year they got it.
We brought a huge amount of Sardines cooked on the BBQ and had live music. A good night was had by all, ending with everyone jumping in the pool at 12pm to wash away the sins of the year.
The third year
The third was amazing, really amazing.
Again we had made sure the pool was open. Posters had been placed in every shop in town and further afield, on every tree and we were ready. Or so we thought.
We had a English band, well a mix of a couple of bands, mainly English playing together. The music was great rock and roll and they went down a storm.
We quickly ran out of Sardines and were so so busy, about 120 people, that friends who where on holiday jumped in to help. An amazing regular Chrisy fixed herself by the sink as we were running out of plates and cutlery.
It was just amazing, we could not have hoped for more, the support from the town was overwhelming and the help our friends gave, priceless.
At 12.00 people started jumping in the pool, my daughters were slightly shocked by the skinny dipping, as was I with so many people about, but the skinny dippers where having so much fun, they really didn't care who saw them !
The fourth year
After the success of the third year, we decided to really go for it. I had tried to book a famous 'Supertramp' band called 'the logical group', they were unable to do San Juan, but came the week before, a story for another day.
We did manage to get 'Plan Bee' from Mojcar and they were good, really good. Stage set up in the car park, temporary bars around, loads of staff. We really pushed the boat out. We however had a disappointing turnout, we just covered our costs. But those who came had a brilliant time. A new bar that had opened up the hill, seemed to have done very well, all the benefits of live music but none of the work. Can't blame them, they must have thought all there Christmases had come at once.
Look up Plan Bee on YouTube : http://youtu.be/wYV4iy1CBNM
They really are brilliant and done us proud.
Now we have more time we are looking forward to seeing them and not having to work. We want to sit back and enjoy or maybe a little dancing.
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Update
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Just a quite note to say I have had to shoot back to the UK for a family bereavement.
Will continue the blog when I get back in about a month.
Sam
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Eye Opening
Monday, April 15, 2013
Eye opening events
As I mentioned before drugs are rife in our little village. I was totally shocked by that, being maybe a little naive about this type of thing at the beginning, although have wised up now.
The first summer it caused a few issues, namely I took offense to people buying and selling drugs outside our bar, which also meant outside the swimming pool, with all the village kids right there. Somehow this was resolved very fast and easily, I think the following event may have had something to do with it.
A French family came in with a local estate agent that we knew, the Father spoke amazingly good English, it turns out they were to rent the house opposite us, until their property in a tiny little place about 7kms away was reformed.
All seemed fine to begin with, they introduced themselves, he was in the French Army and explained that he spend a lot of time away. The two children seemed a little on the wild side, but that may just be excitement of moving.
We had a pleasant chat with them, until he made a phone call then, hung around right outside the bar, I could not believe my eyes, when I saw him pass over some cash and take a packet in return. I wasn't even stood outside, they were so close to the bar I could clearly see what had gone down.
I thought if you were in the Army you underwent random drugs tests, clearly not in the French Army.
I could not button my lip, it was all the kids, I really didn't want drug dealers outside the pool, peddling there wares, totally unsafe in my view.
I had to confront this head on, it wasn't good enough to explain no drug dealing here !
So I pulled him to one side and explained in English, that it was totally unacceptable to buy drugs, where so many children were and that if I saw him doing it again, I would report him and take down the car registration and report them also. And if I saw him doing outside my house I would do the same thing. He was very embarrassed and apologetic, I don't think he was used to people telling him what was what. Not a great start with the new neighbors. However we never had drugs being sold outside again, so something I said worked.
We thought that was that end of the matter, we could now just rub along and not get too involved with them.
What happened the next day was unbelievable, worse even than paying for drugs in front of children?
Suddenly this young lad about 8 years old, turned up. Crying. I recognized him from the day before our new neighbors boy, he spoke no Spanish, no English just French. I speak no French, at all, not a word.
Very luckily Gwen spoke a bit and so did an English lad that was round the pool, neither spoke that much but it was a damm site better than my none. It turns out that the poor little mite had been left in our care with the euro entry for the pool and nothing else whilst his Mum drove to Granada and back a good 3 hour round trip, that's without stopping. He had no food and no money to buy food and was confused and upset by the whole experience.
It was the only day that summer that it rained, so the pool was closed early, luckily my girls, who are just brilliant, played with him to try to help him feel better.
My locals were telling me to call the Guardia and tell them he had been abandoned, I couldn't do that, can you imagine how frighting that would have been for him. I think the locals thought he really had been abandoned and I would end up with an extra child.
Of course I fed and watered him, gave him sweets and tried my best to make him feel safe. But as time ticked by, I did start to wonder if the Mother would ever return.
The really daft thing is that if she had just asked I would have looked after him anyway and a lot of stress could have been avoided, mainly on the part of her son.
She did return about 6 hours after she had dropped him off, did she come in and thank me or make sure everything was ok, did she hell. She sat in the car and beeped the horn, she was gone before I had time to get out to her.
When I got home, I went to speak to her, I explained how distressed her son had been and how the locals had told me to call the Guardia. How I had refused, but if she had just let me know it would have been a whole load easier for all. She didn't see my point of view and thought I was over reacting.
We hardly spoke after that and I didn't let the girls play out when her kids where out, mainly as they didn't have the boundaries mine did. My girls knew where they could and couldn't go. The French kids at 8 and 2 would play out even when the Mother was asleep. In my mind a 2 year old is a baby, our house backed onto a fairly busy road, where the drivers drove very fast, it simply terrified me.
Luckily there house was completed quickly and they moved out, never to be seen again. Our sleepy little hamlet returned, much to the delight of all the residences.
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The two P's
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The two P's
Pee and Poo
The toilet habits of some of our customers and neighbours.
For us running a bar it was very important to have clean toilets, whenever I go anywhere I judge a place by the cleanest of the bathroom, sad I know.
For a select few at our bar it was far from important, because they didn't use them.
We had two male customers who both would leave the bar and pee on the garden area in front, where the kids played. They walked past the toilet to go outside. Now to me this is odd but to them it made perfect sense.
In our little village they have only had electric and inside toilets for about 30years. In fact some still don't have these amenities that us Brit's take as being essential.
We did explain to both these men that the kids play there so please could they use the toilet, which they did do, but we had to explain why.
Driving around here you will often see a man at the side of the road having wee, they don't bother trying to hide the fact, often their manhood is on show for all to see. I find this unpleasant as they are almost always elderly.
Then you have those who have toilets in their houses but don't use them, like an elderly neighbor of ours who still goes outside for a poo, to me that is horrible, but to him it is a way of life.
A neighbor of a friend of ours poo's down the side wall of his house, yuck. We don't know if he has a toilet or not. It may just be to keep all the flies in one place who knows.
Then you have the mystery of the foot prints on the toilet seats. In the bar almost daily when I went to clean the toilets, a job I do NOT miss, I would find footprints. On the toilet seats and sometimes on the cisterns, too this day I can't work out why. I thought maybe it was something to do with drugs, so I checked the light fitting, nothing. Then I thought it may have been some sort of sexual adventure, but after monitoring the length of time and who went in with whom, this also draw a blank, so still I am none the wiser.
I also used to find small blue or white circular tissue paper, I am told that these are wraps for cocaine. I was shocked to find out that in a our rural community cocaine use is everywhere. My main priority is to educating my daughters not to touch it and what it can do to you and fingers crossed they will not ever take it.
On one occasion Antonio wood (we call him that because he sells wood) decided that he would give a female customer a treat and flash at her, of course he was slightly worse for wear. When I found out about it a few days later I was horrified and next time he came in, I took him outside away for other customers for a quiet chat. I told him never ever to do that in my bar again. He denies doing, but I know he did, the things that come things that come out of his mouth are very crude at times and I really believe that he is capable of doing such a thing and that he would think it is totally acceptable.
On the odd occasion we had love birds nip in for a quick snog, but must have only been a snog or very quick !
Cleaning the toilets was always a joy, never knew what you may find, especially if it had been a busy and late night. However I got away lightly, not much sick to clean up over the years, thankfully. Really don't miss that bit of running a bar.
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Donkey Man
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Donkey man
At the beginning we didn't know people's names so we gave them nick names, as time went on they stuck mainly because there are so many Juan's, Jose's, Paco's, Jesus's and Antonio's.
We had a book where we wrote down the customers bill, so we didn't over or under charge anyone. In Spain it is normal to have a tab running and pay when you want to leave. We had a rule that we didn't take the book over to the bar or table to work out the bill.
Most of the them had nice names like - Smiler, Smiler Jose, Family, Elady, Twin, Alconter, Los Zolios, walking Pepe, Football, Goalie, Teacher, Alcaponie, old neighbor, beard, chain saw, red t-shirt,group,young group, Antonio wood, curry girls, Donkey man. As you can see they relate to where they live, what they look like or what they do for the most part.
Because sometimes if a customer was difficult they may have been written down as w***er or a.h. You never know who can read English and we didn't want to offend anyone, especially if they were already difficult.
On one occasion however this system failed us big time a staff member had written down a group of young girls down as 'fatty' because the first to order was large, then she took the book over, unfortunately her friends could read English, the table erupted into laughter, I could have killed her.
Luckily no offense was taken and the group continued to come in.
On another occasion the same member of staff, got very confused as Barry had written down Elady. We left the staff member in charge, to enjoy some family time away from the bar. She told us later that she was confused because she though it was a lady selling 'e's' the drugs and she didn't think there was that problem in our small town. Also she thought it was odd her bill was only 1€, couldn't be selling much. Barry had only written down Elady because he couldn't spell her name but knew it began with an 'e'. We had to laugh at that classic, misunderstanding of our nickname system.
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Now for Donkey man, named so because he would arrive on his white Donkey ! He was in his late eighties and we would see him, slowly making his way towards the bar, the Donkey that looked as old as he was. He would then tie it to the climbing frame in the park, at the back of the bar. So Spanish, what a treat to see. He would come in order his coffee with brandy, then ask me to speak English to him and teach him words, like table. He would then repeat the word 'table' and roll around laughing. Then he would move outside a fall asleep, bless him. Sometimes he would have a sin alcohol beer and want to try a new tapa, he was a game old man, up for every new experience he could get. He told me he wasn't allowed alcohol, which is why the beer was always sin, and brandy of course isn't alcohol. Always amazed me the amount of customers who don't drink alcohol, but would have brandy or whiskey in their coffee, because that's not alcohol.
 One day Donkey man met some of his family in the bar who went to great lengths to tell me how because he was on medication he wasn't to have alcohol. They ordered a bottle of wine and tapas, I gave them three glass, then was told 'no, we need four, one for him too' another glass for Donkey man that isn't allowed to drink, so wine doesn't count either. I am relieved wine doesn't count as I like a glass or two !
The bar wasn't the only place that Donkey man visited. He would turn up at a friend of ours house have a beer or two (with alcohol), have a chat, then fall asleep in the chair all afternoon. Our friend,some times drove him to see relatives in the next village from us, it was too far for the donkey. A good man he would wait to bring him home, because of that he would arrive home laden with goodies, vegetables, eggs, cakes the list goes on.
I am told Donkey man was one of the riches men in the village, although you wouldn't believe it to look at him, I am told he didn't believe in banks so all the money was hidden round the house. I have no idea where he lived, but again I am told it wasn't luxury.
One fateful day the donkey died, it just dropped died. Donkey man didn't believe in giving the poor animal too much water, it was a very hot day, so that may have contributed to it's demise.
There is no question that he loved that donkey and was seen begging it to get up that day, it was the beginning of the end for donkey man. After only a matter of days he had a fall and was moved to the local hospital for old people, he was died within two weeks.
A medium came to see me at the bar one day, and I was delighted when it turned out that donkey man still visited our bar. In fact when I said 'it's Donkey man', he laughed, so must have liked his nick man.
Next time more of why the customers had the nick names they did.....
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