I have to descend wide, meandering steps in order to gain access to the beach. Down, down I go. It isn't a very long beach, but it's fine for a nice stroll. It's not too hot at all, and there's a fresh breeze coming from the sea. It's early in the season and, although there are some families with young children, it's far from full. It's as if this is my very own private beach, and I can't help but smile, as I enjoy the beauty of the sand, the seagulls, and the sound of the waves. I inhale deeply the salt air and the smell of coconut wafting from people strolling by my side. I think I'm in paradise! I could spend hours and hours here, quite easily.
I spy an older woman sitting on a towel. As I get closer to her, guess what I notice?! The top of her swimsuit is pulled down. Yes! You can see her bare boobs! The poor woman. She probably doesn't realise that her swimsuit somehow has fallen off her shoulders. Maybe I should tell her? I mean, she would be really embarrassed if people were to see her bare boobs, wouldn't she?
I approach her. But then I stop abruptly. Want to know why? There's another woman, about the same age, lying on a towel next to her. She sits up. Guess what! Her swimsuit is also pulled down to her waist. I can see her bare boobs too! What's going on?
The two women grin at me and wave. They say something which sounds German. I don't know what to think. I keep walking. I don't know where to look. I can't help but wonder about the two German women. Their boobs are sagging and dangling all the way to their waists. I don't think it's an accident, either. Why on earth would they want to get a suntan on their boobs? I lower my head and pretend to have this absolute fascination for the sand.
I remember before we moved here that people mentioned how women go topless on the Mediterranean.
"There are beaches where everybody goes topless!"
"There's even a nudist beach where you're going!"
For some reason I didn't think women would be topless on our little local beach here at Miami Playa. I had visions that it would be the larger, touristy beaches such as in Salou where you'd find the topless crowd who would all be young and beautiful with perfect bodies.
Feeling embarrassed and definitely awkward I suddenly realise that I have no choice but to retrace my steps and go by the two older German women flaunting their naked boobs. You see, although there is another set of steps that I could climb to get back up to the road, it looks really dilapidated. I'd just as soon go up the steps that I already came down. Oh dear. Either take the bull by the horns, as the saying goes, or sit down and wait for the topless pair, no pun intended, to depart.
One of the bare-boobed ladies calls out something to me as I walk by, head down. I turn around hoping that someone else is there and that he or she can respond. Nope. There's nobody. What could this half-naked woman be asking me?
She points to her wrist. She grins. Not only are her boobs ugly, so are her teeth. They are crooked, yellow and simply too big for her mouth. I try to focus on her wrist. She wants to know the time?
"It's half past four!" I yell out to her.
She consults her friend, obviously trying to come up with a translation. Now there are four boobs bouncing around, bobbing up and down like pancakes being flipped over a frying pan.
I walk faster, practically run to get away from them. But, guess what? The two of them stand up. Imagine standing up for all to see their bare boobs! At least they haven't removed the bottom part of their swimsuits. Thank God for that! They come after me and one grabs my wrist.
"Ah!" They chatter together after seeing the time on my wrist watch.
They smell of sweat and onions. Their faces and arms are suntanned but the stark outline of where their swimsuit tops should be is as white as white could be. I hate to be rude, but I have to get away from the grotesque dangling boobs and the odours of sweat and onions. Paradise has indeed been lost.
Maybe I'm just a prude. Someone once called me that years ago. Actually, they called me a broad-minded prude. That's not so bad, is it?
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