The Curmudgeon

All along the coasts, on the islands, at airports and in larger towns a German speaker can always buy the latest copies of "Bild", "Die Welt", "Die Zeit", "Frankfurter Allgemeine" ("FAZ"), "Suddeutsche Zeitung", "Stern", etc, albeit at an exorbitant price.

For news about southern Spain and the islands in the German language, I only know of two possibilities, "SUR Deutsche Ausgabe" and a German-language edition of "The Olive Press".

SUR Deutsche Ausgabe

An offshoot of "SUR in English", the free weekly newspaper that is published in Marbella and has just celebrated 40 years. 

The German edition was first published 20 years ago and costs 1 euro.

The German SUR covers the the Costa del Sol, Costa Tropical, Malaga province, Andalucía and Spain as a whole - at www.surdeutsch.com.

    [Image courtesy of www.surdeutsch.com]

The Olive Press

The free English-language fortnightly started in western Andalucía in 2005, then absorbed the longer-running eastern Andalucia edition. Originally based in Arriate, near Ronda.

Since then publisher Luke Stewart and editor Jon Clarke have sought to expand.

Now based in San Pedro de Alcantara on the Costa del Sol, the paper has additional versions on the Costa Blanca, Gibraltar, the Balearics.

A year ago the OP launched a German version which appeared monthly. They have recently cut it back to a bi-monthly.

  [Image courtesy of Issuu]

The Last Word

As someone who worked at The OP in its early days, since leaving I have had the dubious privilege of watching its fall, rise, and fall again, albeit from a distance.

  [Image courtesy of Facebook]

I have a few gripes about current OP policy. The paper is free but the online version lurks behind a "paywall". A contradiction in terms, surely.

SUR in English, meanwhile, has gone from strength to strength with new-ish editor Rachel Hynes continuing the pioneering work of Liz Parry (BEM) who founded the paper and retired in 2021.

That DIARIO SUR has just launched a free online version of SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, a print edition of which you have to pay one euro for, is to be applauded.

    Celebrating 40 years of SUR in English with Rachel Hynes (2nd right) and Liz Parry (far right) [SUR in English]

I think I should have a word in Jon Clarke's ear!

Links:

Olive Press News Spain - Best Expat Newspaper in Spain

SUR deutsche Ausgabe launches new online edition | Sur in English

SUR Deutsche Ausgabe - Nachrichten auf Deutsch von der Costa del Sol

© The Curmudgeon

With thanks to:

Bild, Curmudgeon, Diario Sur, Die Welt, Die Zeit, Facebook, FAZ, Issuu, Jon Clarke, Liz Parry, Luke Stewart, Paul Whitelock, Rachel Hynes, Stern, Suddeutsche Zeitung, SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, SUR in English, The Olive Press

Tags:

Andalucía, Balearics, best expat newspaper, Bild, Costa Blanca, Costa del Sol, Costa Tropical, Curmudgeon, Diario Sur, Die Welt, Die Zeit, Facebook, Frankfurter Allgemeine, FAZ, free newspaper, Gibraltar, Issuu, Jon Clarke, Liz Parry, Luke Stewart, Malaga province, Marbella, Nachrichten auf Deutsch, Paul Whitelock, paywall, Rachel Hynes, San Pedro de Alcantara, Spain, Stern, Suddeutsche Zeitung, SUR Deutsche Ausgabe, SUR in English, The Olive Press, www.surdeutsch.com

, 

I've always had a love/hate relationship with Ryanair, the Irish low-cost airline.

When Ryanair started out, back in 1980, I always preferred its main competitor easyJet, run by the charismatic and charming Greek Stelios Haji-Ioannou (Athens, 1967) as compared to the abrasive and aggressive Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary (Dublin, 1961).

My Ryanair History

For several years we flew easyJet out of Manchester, but then we switched to Liverpool John Lennon airport, a Ryanair hub, because the flights were cheaper and the routes and timings more convenient. We had bought an apartment in Ronda (Malaga) in 2001 and also a house there two years later. For years we flew to Granada, until Ryanair pulled out over a row about landing fees, so we resumed flying to Malaga airport, usually with Ryanair, for the reasons mentioned.

I hated the experience. These were the days of the undignified sprint to board the plane as no seats were allocated back then. Only to discover that the cabin crew, all sassy scouse lasses, were rude and unfriendly, made our flights far from pleasant experiences.

But, hey, the flights only lasted around 2 and a bit hours and were ridiculously cheap (sometimes as little as 5€) that I put up with it.

In addition O'Leary's quest to extract as much as possible from passengers with extra charges and expensive onboard drinks and snacks, and penny-pinching when it came to refunds or compensation, was incredibly frustrating.

Makeover/Charm Offensive

Then it all began to change when Ryanair pioneered seat allocation, at an extra cost, of course, if you wished to choose your seat - aisle, front, middle, back, extra legroom. Charges for your luggage were next. Nowadays a checked-in 15kg case can cost more than the flight!

As a result when I fly Ryanair to the UK to visit family, I squeeze a minimum of clothing into my free hand luggage, on the grounds I can always wash and dry socks and underwear as I invariably stay with one of my kids or my brother.

The airline must also have invested in staff training because cabin crew suddenly became friendly and pleasant, or maybe it's because they weren't from Liverpool! 

Just to be clear and fair, I worked on Merseyside for 25 years and I just loved the people, for their cheeky humour. 

From Liverpool (one of my favourite cities for its vibe, its pubs, its two cathedrals, the Everyman Theatre, the Cavern Club and its refurbished docks), to Bootle, Formby, Southport and Maghull.

I must not forget St Helens and Newton-le Willows, where I also worked for six and nine years respectively, before clocking up a decade in the borough of Sefton. 

Endword

Despite all the above, I've grown to "love" the Irish airline, as it serves its purpose, ie cheap, "no frills" air travel to almost anywhere in Europe.

By the way, my German (second) wife won't hear a bad word said about Ryanair.

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

20+ Things To Do In Granada - Not Just The Alhambra (2025)!

Fear of flying? - Olive Press News Spain

My first post-Covid flight - Secret Serrania de Ronda

My Special Places in Spain

My Top 10 places in Ronda - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Ryanair one of four airlines fined for illegal charges for passengers
 

Photos:

MerseysidePrepared, MerseyTravel, Ryanair Help Centre, Trip Advisor, Wikipedia

Acknowledgements:

Olive Press News, Paul Whitelock, Ryanair, Sophie Pearce, ThirdEyeTraveller, Wikipedia

Tags:

Athens, Bootle, Cavern Club, Curmudgeon, Dublin, easyJet, Everyman Theatre, Formby, German, Granada, Irish airline, Liverpool, Liverpool John Lennon Airport, low-cost airline, Maghull, Malaga, Manchester, Merseyside, MerseysidePrepared, MerseyTravel, Michael O'Leary, Newton-le Willows, Olive Press News, Paul Whitelock, Ronda, Ryanair, Ryanair Help Centre, St Helens, Sefton, Sophie Pearce, Southport, Stansted airport, Stelios Haji-Ioannou, ThirdEyeTraveller, Trip Advisor, Wikipedia 

Just as I am preparing to apply for Spanish citizenship – deadline end of January – the country is doing its best to put me off going ahead!

[Image courtesy of Gobierno de España]

First of all, two of Spain’s police forces have p**sed me off big-style and on top of that two places have convinced me never to visit again.

What’s the story?

I have made an agreement with another “guiri” immigrant that we shall both apply for Spanish citizenship before the end of January.

However, As I get my bits and pieces together, a few things have happened recently that have made me have second thoughts.

[Image courtesy of The Spanish Passport Office]

The police

The policía local fined me for a parking infringement in Marbella (Málaga), and in the same week I received a fine for dangerous driving by post from the guardia civil in Benaoján (also Málaga).

Both are mistakes, which I can prove, so I intend to make alegaciones.

    [Policia Local]                                                                         [Guardia civil trafico]

Places I shall avoid in future

Added to my issues with the constabulary, I visited a couple of places on New Year’s Eve that will never ever benefit from my presence again.

Plaza Mayor, a shopping centre near Málaga airport, is a joke!

Driving in to park takes ages and leaving even longer!

The shops are only designer outlets, so of no interest to me. My tailors shall remain Aldi and LIDL.

I also lost my keys and it took me several hours of being sent from pillar to post to get them back.

Plaza Mayor [El Confidencial]

Up to now I’ve held a positive view of Málaga City – not any more! This jewel in the crown of Andalusian cities turned me off on New Year’s Eve, possibly for ever.

The capital of Málaga province is amazing. The Casco Antiguo, Picasso’s legacy and the renovated port area, not to mention its beaches, make this one of the best of the eight Andalusian capital cities.

           Málaga City from above [Wikipedia]              Costa Press Club with Picasso [KS]         

                   Málaga City [Spain Info]

However, going there on New Year’s Eve was a BIG MISTAKE.

I was heading for The Shakespeare, an English pub with an amazing range of beers plus live music run by an Englishman, Peter Edgerton, who is also a writer and musician.

Unfortunately, there’s no parking nearby, but I found a space in a multi-storey car park, allegedly 10 minutes’ walk from said pub.

I parked just after 7.30 pm.

Well, I walked for miles and for hours looking for this pub. Google Maps could not take me there! I never found it!

I was due at Málaga airport to pick up my missus at around 11.30 pm.

So, I gave up on The Shakespeare and decided to retrieve my car and head for the airport, a mere 20 minutes away.

Google Maps was also unable to take me back to my car park.

Rita rang me. “I’m just going up to the pick-up point,” she said.

I had to apologise that I had lost my car, and it might be a while.

Malaga-Costa del Sol airport [The Olive Press]

Eventually, Google Maps decided to co-operate, and I found my car.

By this time, it was way past 12.30 when I eventually got to Rita. So, we missed celebrating Nochevieja together. Good job I hadn’t bought grapes!

***

With hindsight, Málaga City was not to blame for my disastrous evening, the place was buzzing with revellers and the atmosphere was, as ever, good and not at all threatening, despite the many intoxicated people out and about.

It was Google Maps fault! Time and again this app has let me down:

Google Maps cannot bring delivery drivers and first-time visitors to our house just outside Ronda.

Google Maps could not take us to the Mezquita in Córdoba. The Arab Mosque is not only one of the most famous landmarks in Córdoba, but also Spain and the world.

[Image courtesy of El Confidencial]

Google Maps tries to bring visitors from Montejaque (Málaga) to Grazalema (Cádiz) through the narrow streets of the Casco Antiguo in Montejaque, instead of along normal local roads. This happens on a regular basis.

Google Maps is not fit for purpose!

Back home

Rita had every right to be cross, but she wasn’t. However, when we got home at around 2.30 in the morning, she hit the roof. She didn’t like the way I’d decorated the house for Christmas!

[Image courtesy of Freepik]

Conclusion

Not the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever spent! But it is what it is!

BTW, Rita and I are best of friends again!

        Rita and Paul, best of friends [selfie]

¡Feliz año!

© The Curmudgeon

Photos and images:

El Confidencial, Freepik, Gobierno de España, guardia civil, Karl Smallman, Olive Press, Paul Whitelock, policia local, Spain Info, Spanish Passport Office, Wikipedia

Links:

Christmas "de Rodríguez" - Rita’s alternative Christmas Dinner

De Rodríguez – at Christmas?

"DINNER FOR ONE" - A New Year's Eve Phenomenon

Fish for Christmas and no gifts? - Help me, Ronda

MALAGA CITY - Help me, Ronda

Mini-break in Malaga - Help me, Ronda
 

Tags:

Aldi, alegaciones, Arab Mosque, beaches, Benaoján, Cádiz, capital of Málaga province, Casco Antiguo, Córdoba, dangerous driving, designer outlets, El Confidencial, Englishman, English pub, ¡Feliz año!, Freepik, Google Maps, grapes, Grazalema, guardia civil, Karl Smallman, LIDL, live music, Málaga, Málaga airport, Málaga City, Marbella, Mezquita, Montejaque, New Year’s Eve, Nochevieja, Olive Press, parking infringement, Paul Whitelock, Peter Edgerton, Picasso, Plaza Mayor, policía local, range of beers, renovated port area, Rita, Ronda, Spain Info, Spanish citizenship, The Curmudgeon, The Shakespeare, Wikipedia, www.eyeonspain.com, www.help-me-ronda.com, www.secretserrania.com, www.theolivepress.es

áéíóúü€£

By The Curmudgeon

I am basically a law-abiding citizen, a democrat, who fully understands that society needs rules in order for life to function. And that therefore a police force is required.

However, it’s odd that Spain needs three, which are all independent of each other.

Although when it comes to which force is responsible for what, the lines are somewhat blurred.

Click here to find out more: Spain's three police forces explained... and who does what!

The Curmudgeon and the Cops – A Brief History

USA

In Malibu California (USA) in 1968, I got talking to a couple of cops outside a general store where we and they had stopped for refreshment.

“Is it true that British cops don’t carry guns?” they asked.

I confirmed that this was the case.

“Well, how do they do their job then?

I tried to explain, but they didn’t get it.

I learned that they had both previously worked in San Diego, which was apparently full of dangerous armed criminals. Their job was very stressful and dangerous, they told me, and they were delighted to have been transferred to peaceful Malibu, home of film stars and other rich people.

“But we still need to carry a gun”, they informed me.

UK 1

In 1989 I was stopped for speeding in Warrington (Cheshire). When the traffic cop found out I was a teacher, which I was back then, you could see him lick his lips. He threw the book at me! B****rd!

I guess he had had a bad time at school and didn’t like teachers.

My recollection of my time teaching at a Roman Catholic Boys’ Grammar School in the 1970s was that the big lads who were good at rugby and passed few, if any, O-Levels, joined the police!

Blimey!

UK 2

In 1993, on a Saturday morning, I had picked up my two young kids from a trampolining session and was rushing my daughter across town for her ballet class and my son to his karate lesson, and I was stopped for exceeding the speed limit.

Amy burst out crying: “I’m going to be late for ballet”, she sobbed. The copper must have had a daughter too, cos he let me off! Amazing, as I was as guilty as sin!

Spain 1

Until this week, I’d always got on well with the Spanish “Fuzz”, whether Policia Nacional, Policia Local or Guardia Civil.

But this week I’m fed up to the back teeth! And it’s only Thursday!

I received a fine by registered post for a trumped-up driving misdemeanour. When I tried to pay it within the 20 days in order to get a 50% discount, THE COMPUTER WOULDN’T LET ME!

The Guardia Civil wanted 200€ instead of the discounted 100€ to which I was entitled. The problem is, and it’s more than frustrating, you can’t speak to a human being, only the disembodied voice on the computer.

I consulted my gestora and she said: “Paul, just pay it. You can never win against the police, even if you are in the right, which I think you are, by the way. They will never back down!”

So, I thought, “Nothing has changed really since Franco’s time!” [Back in time the guardia civil were Franco’s stormtroopers, but, I thought in the 50 years since the dictator’s demise, things had changed! Apparently, not.]

Spain 2

Yesterday, we were in Marbella for medical appointments. I parked in a blue zone, controlled by parking meters. Having failed to pay at three different machines, which were all clearly out of order, I downloaded the parking app, registered my car and thought: “Bob’s your uncle!”…..

….. But when we got back to the car after our medical examinations were over, there was a piece of paper stuck under one of the windscreen wipers!

A parking fine! 50€!

“Excuse me! I downloaded the app.”

The parking ticket said “no anulable”.

This presented me with a number of obstacles to sorting things out there and then:

• There were no local bobbies around for me to point out their error to.
• The Town Hall, who are responsible for issuing the ticket, was closed, as it was after 2.00 pm.
• Friday is dia festivo nacional, Saturday is Saturday, Sunday is domingo and Monday is another dia festivo (Inmaculada Concepcion).
• And I don’t live in Marbella!

I’m inclined to ignore the fine, but they will undoubtedly embargo my bank account for the money, a practice only known in Spain, as far as I’m aware. Who do they think they are, that they can willy-nilly plunder a citizen’s bank account against his/her will?

Banana republic, or what?

I am very fond of calling Spain, my beloved adopted homeland, a "banana republic", because of the handful of things that frustrate not only me, but other “guiris”, AS WELL AS SPANISH PEOPLE.

Top of the list, the way the police treat us, in a very top-down manner. “We’re right, you’re wrong!” With no recourse to justice and fairness.

Bureaucracy, by the way, comes in a close second, but that’s another story, for another day …..

What to do?

In this last case, I intend to try and ring Marbella council. But, that will have to wait until next Tuesday because of the “puente”.

If I that brings no joy, I shall refuse to pay the fine. What are they going to do? Chuck me in gaol and throw away the key? I’m 74, and ailing, so I don’t think they will do that.

No, they’ll just plunder my bank account and steal the 50 euros!

As my wife and my Spanish neighbours always say: “Just pay it, Pablo! That’s the way it is here!”

Excuse me! I thought Franco was long dead, almost 50 years ago!

And, on the anniversary of Spain becoming a democracy, 47 years ago THIS VERY DAY, 6 December, Día de la Constitución, the country is still showing signs of severe authoritarianism (ie state-sponsored bullying!)

I rest my case!

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

Police check in Spain - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Spain's three police forces explained... and who does what!

Photos:

Alamy

BestDiplomats

BBC

Costasur

El HuffPost

Euro Weekly News

Facebook

La Razon

Pueblos de Malaga

www.marbella.es

Tags:

app, Authoritarianism, ballet class, banana republic, British cops don’t carry guns, bureaucracy, California, Curmudgeon, democrat, Día de la Constitución, dia festivo, dia festivo nacional, exceeding the speed limit, Franco, gestora, green zone, Guardia Civil, guiri, Inmaculada Concepcion, karate, law-abiding citizen, Malibu, Marbella council, no anulable, parking app, parking meter, parking ticket, police force, Policia Local, Policia Nacional, puente, Spanish “Fuzz”, Spanish Police, state-sponsored bullying, trampolining, Warrington, Cheshire, USA

áéíóúü©

The most popular day for a día de descanso in bars and restaurants in Spain is Monday. Doh!

Do pubs and restaurants in England have a day off? I think not.

OK, so given that Spanish bar owners and managers seem incapable of organising their rotas to open every day of the week, why do most choose Mondays to close?

I’ll tell you what they say. “We’re tired after the busy weekend!”

Do me a favour!

Preamble

Do English hostelries close for two weeks so that the landlord/lady and his/her family can go on holiday? Of course they don’t – they get a locum in.

And another thing, off season, lots of places round here only open Thursday to Sunday.

Since the Covid-19 pandemic, it seems that bars and restaurants are no longer a service to the public, but simply money-making enterprises for their owners.

Many of my good friends are “publicans”, to use that quaint English term, but they cannot see this issue from my point of view.

“Why shouldn’t we close if it’s not worth opening?” they chorus.

Sorry, I see it differently. If you are an alcoholic, a heavy drinker, a coffee addict or simply a sociable person, who wants to indulge your passion 7 days a week, why shouldn’t you be able to?

Clearly, if you rent your bar/restaurant and have to employ staff, it’s very different to a “landlord” who owns his premises and only family work there, BUT NOWADAYS THEY CLOSE ALSO!

Last night, Monday 25 November

We went out for tapas with English friends, A and T, who have lived in Montejaque (Málaga) for a number of years. Not yet old enough to retire they have “kept the wolf from the door” by renovating properties, renting to tourists and selling at a profit.

Now they have sold their house in Montejaque – they go to the notary tomorrow – and they are leaving to go and live in a house they own near Mojácar (Almería), some five hours away by car.

They are sad to be leaving the Serranía de Ronda, but they now see their future in the far east of Andalucía.

So, as a farewell we decided to go out for tapas in Ronda, bearing in mind that one of us is vegan. Most of the places on my list of favourites which offer vegan dishes were closed. These included Bar El Puente, Bodega Casa Mateos, El Almacén, Miyagi Express, and Siempre Igual.

We started off at another favourite, Café-Bar Sensur. Because of the dearth of other places to go, we stayed there for nearly two hours and ate our fill. Delicious.

Oddly at 10.00 pm the bars that had been open in Plaza del Socorro were already closed or closing. Weird!

Nightcap

We decided to go to Calle La Bola for a nightcap, where a couple of places were still open. We chose Toro Tapas, where we just had a drink and continued our chat.

Interestingly, we discovered that Toro Tapas currently opens every day of the week, lunchtimes and evenings. Good for them!

We had a really nice evening, despite the problem of it being Monday, and promised we would visit A and T in Mojácar next year.

I was in Mojácar for two weeks in 1989 with my first wife and our two young kids (aged 5 and 2 – they are now 41 and 38, each with two boys, my British grandsons). But Rita hasn’t been there.

I remembered enjoying Mojácar, and A and T clearly like it also.

The Verdict

We had a nice time. But I still think all the closures, which are now the norm, it seems, are taking the mickey. But it will never change.

© The Curmudgeon

Links:

Photos:

Facebook

Freepik

The Fork

Trip Advisor

Tags:

alcoholic, Andalucía, Bar El Puente, Bodega Casa Mateos, Café-Bar Sensur, Calle La Bola, coffee addict, Covid-19, Curmudgeon, day off, de tapeo, día de descanso, El Almacén, heavy drinker, landlord, locum, Miyagi Express, Mojácar, Monday, nightcap, pandemic, Plaza del Socorro, Serranía de Ronda, Siempre Igual, sociable person, Toro Tapas, vegan

By The Curmudgeon

British TV in Spain via satellite was switched off for good last April. What is the situation 7 months on?

My original article, here, had so far been viewed a massive 7,235 times when I looked at the analytics a few minutes ago. And there have been 24 comments offering advice and also pointing out that in some areas further north British TV is still available via satellite.

Some of my friends and other contacts provided different alternatives to the one I chose, all of which I included in my article, and none of them have reported problems.

I am grateful to Carolyn E, Nick Flynn, Elaine Gilfillan, Jill LP, Freida Maybury, Christopher Seward, Paul Whitelock, and Julie Wilkinson.

They live in different places in the Serrania de Ronda including Cañada del Real Tesoro, Fuente de la Higuera, Jimera de Libar, Llano de la Cruz, Montejaque and Ronda.

I am also grateful to the many people from across Spain who posted comments which were also helpful.

My choice

I went for the pre-loaded Amazon Firestick. I bought two, one for home in Ronda and one for our rental house in Montejaque.

I am very pleased. It works better in Montejaque where fibre-optic cable has been installed throughout the village.

Our international guests over the year appreciated the channels at their disposal

In Fuente de la Higuera (Ronda) where there is no fibra yet, it buffers occasionally, but I can live with that.

The main thing is I got to watch Match of the Day, International Rugby, and the Olympics in Paris, on the TV in our guest bedroom.

And now that winter weather has arrived it’s nice to sit down in front of the telly and watch Strictly Come Dancing, Question Time, Newsnight or a film on Netflix, all washed down with a glass of wine or two!

© The Curmudgeon

Links and Contacts:

https://www.theportugalnews.com/news/2024-04-08/bbc-switches-off-satellite-signal-whats-next/87701

NordVPN

ExpressVPN

CyberGhost VPN

Elaine Gilfillan, Qualified teacher of EFL, Jimera de Libar   Tel: (+34) 711 01 15 27

Freida Maybury, TEFL qualified English tutor   Tel: (+34) 634 33 01 51

Paul Whitelock, translator and corredor (independent estate agent)  Tel: (+34) 636 52 75 16  www.help-me-ronda.com 

Julie Wilkinson, translator and independent gestora ("fixer")  Tel: (+34) 744 60 65 03 

Images:

Amazon

CharryTV

Hitsmobile

Pesach Sheini

Wikipedia

Tags:

Amazon, Amazon Firestick, British TV in Spain, Cañada del Real Tesoro, CharryTV, Christopher Seward, Curmudgeon, CyberGhostVPN, Elaine Gilfillan, ExpressVPN, fibre-optic cable, fibra, Freida Maybury, Fuente de la Higuera, Hitsmobile, International Rugby, Jimera de Libar, Julie Wilkinson, Llano de la Cruz, Match of the Day, Montejaque, Netflix, Newsnight, Nick Flynn, NordVPN, Olympics in Paris, Paul Whitelock, Question Time, Ronda, Strictly Come Dancing, Wikipedia

By The Curmudgeon

What is going on? When I first came to Spain some 50 plus years ago, you could get a drink and a tapa or a coffee at any time of day.

Nowadays it’s a different matter!

Photo courtesy of Trip Advisor

The problem

I have just driven 17 kilometres from a village of just under 1000 inhabitants to my home just outside a large town in the Serrania de Ronda and ALL THE BARS WERE CLOSED, bar three.

I left Montejaque (Málaga) at 18.50 for the 20-minute drive to my home in Fuente de la Higuera, a pedanía just outside Ronda, and nearly everywhere was shut, except my local where I am writing this, the Hotel Ronda Valley (formerly Hotel Don Benito), Bar La Melli and Bar 101.

I feel like naming and shaming the closed establishments for ceasing to be a service and being only interested in the bottom line. However, I might lose a lot of friends and goodwill by doing so.

Hotel Ronda Valley [Photo A1 Inmobiliaria]

Suffice to say that in Montejaque, in the main square, two were shut; the third, the admirable Bar La Melli, was open. The other two were shuttered up: Bar El R. and Restaurante E.A.

Driving out through the village, Bar El Altillo was shut, although it always is in the evenings. Café Bar 101 was also open.

Next stop, Benaoján.

N’es was shut, Bar El E. also. Newly opened Bar El Escalón was closed (día de descanso, rest day - fair enough).

    Two happy customers at Bar La Melli [Photo: PW]

On the stretch from Benaoján to La Indiana there are three bars: Las B; Bar Restaurante C del G and Venta El P. – all shut.

Next was my local, already mentioned. The nearest to my house, Restaurante La C. has just closed for three months!

What do I think?

As I said in my title, W**t the F**k!

© The Curmudgeon

Acknowledgements:

Photos:

Paul Whitelock

Trip Advisor

Tags:

Bar El Escalón, Bar La Melli, Benaoján, Fuente de la Higuera, Hotel Don Benito, Hotel Ronda Valley, La Indiana, Montejaque, Paul Whitelock, pedanía, Ronda, Serrania de Ronda, tapa, The Curmudgeon, Trip Advisor, WTF, W**t the F**k!

I could scarcely believe what I was reading. The Huesca-born novelist Manuel Vilas hit out at the country of his birth, Spain, in an article in SUR in English last week, completely denigrating the country.

I was outraged.

Manuel Vilas [Photo: El Confidencial]

The evidence

I read the column “The Bottom Line” by Manuel Vilas in last week’s SUR in English (October 18 – 24) with great dismay.

Manuel Vilas, a Spaniard and a novelist, criticises Spain from top to bottom: no glamour; bad coffee; lack of beauty; beaches full of drunken tourists from Northern Europe gorging themselves on cheap beer and sunshine; town planning mistakes; poor dress code; lack of culture; and roundabouts.

And to finish his unpatriotic diatribe Sr. Vilas concluded that the modern-day Spaniard is not a human being, just another slave, a poor, sad animal.

I hope he has hired protection!

Young tourists having a good time [Photo: Murcia Today]

No glamour? No beauty?

As an immigrant from Britain who discovered Spain aged 20 and who now, over 50 years later, has lived here for 16 years, I do not recognise the Spain Sr. Vilas vilifies.

The Spain that I have got to know and love over a period of half a century, is not the country he describes.

Spain has no glamour, no beauty? “Ich lach mich tot”, as my German wife would say.                                                                                                                                                                            

                                                                                 San Sebastian (Guipuzcoa) [Photomontage: Karl Smallman]

In Andalucía alone, each of the provincial capitals (Almería, Cádiz, Córdoba, Granada, Huelva, Jaén, Málaga and Sevilla) is a treasure, each in a different way.

La Mezquita, Cordoba [Photo: Lonely Planet]

Ronda, where I live, is out of this world. Other towns are equally stunning, eg Baeza, Frigiliana, Jerez, Mijas, Nerja, Tarifa, and Úbeda, to name just a handful.

Elsewhere in Spain, what about Barcelona, Cáceres, Cuenca, Gijón, Girona, Guadalupe, Jaca, Madrid, Mérida, Olot, Oviedo, Pamplona, Salamanca, San Sebastián, Santander, Santillana del Mar, and Valladolid?

                                                                                                                      Puente Nuevo, Ronda [Photo: anonymous]

Let’s not forget the islands. Fuerteventura, Gran Canaria, La Gomera, Lanzarote, and Tenerife (North) in the Canaries. And Formentera, Mallorca (North), Menorca, and Ibiza in the Balearics.

The coffee

As for the coffee, I have travelled widely in Europe and nowhere is the coffee better than here in Spain. And it’s affordable too.

The beaches

Beaches full (full?) of drunken tourists?

Go to different beaches, Sr. Vilas.

Where we go (Costa de la Luz, Western Costa del Sol) there are hardly any tourists, other than indigenous ones, and everybody behaves well.

                                                                                                                     Bolonia, Costa de la Luz [Photo: Trip Advisor]

Lack of culture?

Maybe in Huesca, your hometown, Sr, Vilas, but not where I spend my time. Ronda, where I live, has regular theatre, live music and dance.

Málaga City has at least 15 museums and art galleries.

Have you never witnessed the Semana Santa processions? Nor been present at a village fiesta?

Picasso Museum [Photo: Museos de Málaga]

Is Vilas' opinion of Spain all wrong?

No.  To be fair, I agree with Sr. Vilas about town planning mistakes, about the proliferation of roundabouts and about the dress code.

Local councils have allowed some absolute monstrosities and "blots on the landscape" to be built, probably in exchange for some lucrative “backhanders”, but I’d say that’s largely a thing of the past, what with so many former mayors now spending time in gaol at “His Majesty’s Pleasure”, for their crimes and misdemeanours.

The average Spanish driver doesn’t have a clue how to negotiate a roundabout. Bring back traffic lights, I say!

Overweight Spanish men in Adidas or Nike tracksuits out and about on Sundays with their families represent a regrettable trend.

Endpiece

So, in conclusion, Manuel Vilas has written “a pack of lies” about my adopted country. I only hope his novels are better than his newspaper articles.

© The Curmudgeon

Note: a shorter version of this article, written by my alter ego Paul Whitelock, appeared on the SUR in English website earlier today. Click:

Paul Whitelock: Spain, is it really a country lacking glamour and with beaches full of drunken tourists gorging themselves on cheap beer and sunshine? | Sur in English

Acknowledgements:

El Confidencial

Karl Smallman

Murcia Today

Museos de Málaga

SUR in English

Trip Advisor

Tags:

Almería, Andalucía, Baeza, Balearics, Barcelona, Cáceres, Cádiz, Canaries, Córdoba, Cuenca, Formentera, Frigiliana, Fuerteventura, Gijón, Girona, Granada, Gran Canaria, Guadalupe, Huelva, Huesca, Ibiza, Jaca, Jaén, Jerez, Karl Smallman, La Gomera, Lanzarote, Madrid, Málaga, Mallorca, Manuel Vilas, Menorca, Mérida, Mijas, Nerja, Olot, Oviedo, Pamplona, Paul Whitelock, Ronda, Salamanca, San Sebastián, Santander, Santillana del Mar, Sevilla, SUR in English, Tarifa, Tenerife, The Curmudgeon, Úbeda, Valladolid

I’m not going to write about the English papers, eg Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star, Financial Times, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, The Sun, that are sold increasingly here in Spain. And at rather hefty prices, I have to say.

No, I’m going to write about the main “freesheets” published down here in Andalucía, namely The EuroWeekly News, SUR in English and The Olive Press.

***

The EuroWeekly News [Published by EWN Media in Fuengirola (Málaga)]

The EWN is not a paper I get to read very often these days, as they no longer bother to deposit copies inland.

When I worked as a “paper boy” for the company for a short while some years ago, they were dropped all over the Serranía de Ronda by me.

I have to report that it’s no great loss, since I don’t like the paper very much. It’s too boring. Most news stories appear to be “pinched” from elsewhere.

Two columnists stand out, however. Nicole King, English, is a radio broadcaster and journalist, who writes a very entertaining column every week.

Leapy Lee, on the other hand, would be arrested and gaoled if he wrote in the UK the bile-infested “shite” that the paper’s owners publish in the EWN in Spain. That’s maybe why Lee chooses to live in Mallorca, Spain. By the way, he’s already done time in England for GBH.

Leapy Lee was a “one-hit-wonder” with “Little Arrows” in 1968. He is 85.

Out of interest, I applied for a job at the EWN some 10 years or so ago, but they couldn’t meet my wage demands. So, that was the end of a “beautiful relationship” before it even started.

The Euesdens, Michel and Stephen, have no background in journalism – they simply use the EWN, I am led to believe, to generate advertising revenue in order to finance their extravagant lifestyle.

***

SUR in English [published by Diario Sur in Málaga City]

SURinEnglish has just celebrated 50 years. The English-language spin-off from SUR it was the brainchild of Liz Parry OBE, who was editor for over four decades. The editorship is now in the capable hands of Rachel Haynes.

The paper has published the odd article of mine over the years, but recently they’ve not used anything I’ve sent them, even though I do not ask for payment.

“Was it something I said?” I wonder.

On the last two occasions I’ve sent them copy, both within the last few months, they have declined to use it.

Both were “scoops”. The first concerned an environmental outrage being perpetrated in Ronda.

The second was about a wildfire in Ronda, which, if it had got out of control, could have destroyed two hotels, a vineyard, several fincas and a number of rental properties.

So, is it true that SUR in English is coast-centric and not too interested in the interior?

Or, were they “miffed” that their own reporters didn’t know about either breaking story?

Maybe they don’t like my writing, although isn’t that what editors are for? To edit?

They didn’t even give me feedback, even though I requested it.

The upshot is that I probably won’t submit anything further to them in the future.*

I’ll just concentrate on the publications that have printed my stuff in the past, eg The Guardian; The Telegraph; The Sunday Times; North Wales Living and Olive Country Life magazines; and the Spanish revista El Hacho.

Or on  various websites that are happy to accept my musings, eg www.eyeonspain.com, www.help-me-ronda.com, and www.secretserrania.com.

Or indeed, Facebook groups, such as CAMCAC - Campaña para Cervezas de Alta Calidad,  Costa Press Club, Expats in La Serranía de Ronda, and Expats Life in Spain.

***

*STOP PRESS:

I relented. There was a recent article printed in SUR in English by a Spanish-born novelist which shocked and infuriated me so much that I sent in a rebuttal. The novelist in question, Manuel Vilas, born in Huesca (Aragon), slammed the country of his birth and its citizens.

My article rejected most of Vilas' criticisms, based on my 50-odd-year-love-affair with Spain which culminated in me moving here 16 years ago. I am settled, re-married and enjoying a busy retirement in Andalucia.

Manuel Vilas [Photo courtesy of El Confidencial]

I was pleased to discover that my article was posted prominently on the paper's website within hours of me submitting it. You can read it here:

Opinion in Surinenglish.com | Sur in English

***

Click here to read Liz Parry's nostalgic look back over the last 50 years of SUR in English:

Liz Parry: Some things never change | Sur in English

***

The Olive Press [published by Luke Stewart Publishing in San Pedro de Alcántara (Málaga)]

When I first emigrated to Spain in 2008, aged 58, I managed to get myself an interview for a job with The Olive Press (Western Edition). At that time, the OP was the new-kid-on-the-block.

Proprietor and editor Jon Clarke made a good impression on me and I on him, it would seem. I got the job!

Despite being employed to sell advertisements – how free papers survive – I also wrote copiously for the paper. I cut my teeth on the Autumn 2008 supplement about the Barrio San Francisco in Ronda, where, at that time, I had owned property for seven years and knew lots of local people.

After I left the OP to concentrate on other matters - a new wife; and a large house with a big garden near Ronda – I still wrote a blog for the OP website entitled A View from the Mountains, plus the occasional article for the printed edition.

In the autumn of 2023, I contributed to the supplement about The Serranía de Ronda and was asked to lead on the feature about Ronda wines.

In summer 2024 I reported on the filming, in Ronda, of a Netflix series based on an Agatha Christie mystery and starring Iain Glen, Helena Bonham-Carter, Martin Freeman and Mia McKenna-Bruce.

Exclusive: Martin Freeman is spotted filming for Agatha Christie Netflix series in Spain's Ronda - Olive Press News Spain (theolivepress.es)

Major Netflix series filming in Ronda

***

Conclusion

Although many an expat has declared they only collect a free paper to line their rabbit hutch / dog kennel / cat basket, I think these publications provide a useful service. Other punters, including visitors, find their supplements on a topic or locality; their diaries of coming events; and even their adverts very informative and helpful.

Long live the “free” free Press!

© The Curmudgeon

***

Links:

https://euroweeklynews.com

www.eyeonspain.com

www.help-me-ronda.com

www.secretserrania.com

www.surinenglish.com

www.theolivepress.es

Acknowledgements (Photos):

Alamy

Facebook

IndiaMART

Issuu

The Olive Press

Tags:

Alamy, A View from the Mountains, Barrio San Francisco, CAMCAC, Campaña para Cervezas de Alta Calidad, Costa Press Club, Curmudgeon,  English-language newspapers in Spain, environmental outrage, Euesden, EuroWeekly News, EWN, Expats in La Serranía de Ronda, Expats Life in Spain, Facebook, IndiaMART, Issuu, Jon Clarke, Liz Parry, Luke Stewart, Olive Press, Rachel Haynes, Ronda, San Pedro de Alcántara, Serranía de Ronda, SUR in English, wildfire

By Paul Whitelock with Jennie Rhodes

Finally they nailed the b**tard! The worst human being I’ve ever come across. Mysoginistic, a bully, racist, corrupt, an adulterer, a liar and generally unpleasant man. I think even his unfortunate wife, Ivana, now knows this.

Trump guilty

Finally, Trump is a convicted “felon” – I love that word, so much more vivid than the rather tame “criminal”, as we mealy-mouthed English say. By rights, Trump should get gaol time, but he won’t, of course.

Difficult as it is to believe, the fact that “The Don” has been convicted of a crime, 34 actually, does not bar him from running for president of the United States. And, because of his stupid supporters, he is quite likely to get elected to the presidency in November. I despair.

It makes you ask yourself, if this is democracy, maybe we need a benign dictatorship.

Democracy in the UK

Look what happened in the UK! We got Bojo the Clown as Prime Minister. Didn’t we intelligent and insightful people know it would end in tears?

So, democracy in Britain is also discredited. How can you justify a first-past-the-post system, whereby, more often than not, an MP is elected with more votes against him/her than for?

Why do so many people not bother to vote? Because they are not impressed by the unfair system nor by the second-rate politicians we have these days, with no principles, no ideas, few skills and no experience of anything.

Disenfranchised

Having said all this, I would vote if I could. As a foreigner who is resident in another country, however, I am not allowed to vote, except in local elections.

I shall have to change nationality, get a Spanish passport, then I shall be able to vote in general, regional, local AND European Elections. 

And apparently, I shall be able to visit one more country than I can with my current UK passport. Which one? No idea! .....

Some have done it

When I switch nationality and become un español, I shan’t be the first by a long chalk.

Adrian Stone Mills and Hannah Morrish Wilson have lived in Malaga province since 2002, where they own and run a small hotel. They say:

"In the years running up to Brexit we had reached our eligible years for taking out [Spanish] nationality and it was something we had discussed but never pursued. Brexit gave us the push we needed and in 2016, after the results were declared, we started the process for ourselves and our two children.

"Now as European citizens we will be able to vote in the upcoming European elections. We have our ballot papers at the ready the research is done and we ready to go."

Lawrence Renaudon Smith has lived in Mallorca since 1993. After Brexit he decided it was time to apply for Spanish citizenship.

"Of course I will be voting in the European elections this time. The main thing for me about having Spanish nationality is that now I am once again living in Spain as my right, like I did as an EU citizen," he explains.

David Eldridge has lived in Mallorca since 2008. He says he started the process of applying for Spanish nationality in 2019.

"Basically I didn't want my European citizenship taken away and had a way to avoid that. Voting is the main practical advantage, but others are slightly easier bureaucracy and much easier travel."

But he says the biggest advantage "is a psychological one. Once again, my passport reflects my European identity. Having lived in different countries including outside Europe, my number one identity is European."

***

The journalist Jennie Rhodes has lived in Spain for many, many years, and recently wrote extensively on the subject in SUR in English.

Apart from offering examples of British folk who had changed nationality (see above), she confessed she had not done it yet herself:

".... I could have got myself organised to apply for Spanish citizenship (I have lived in Spain for far more than the obligatory 10-year minimum to do so). But like many other things on my 'to-do list', I haven't got around to it."

As for me, I’m a bit like Jennie, in that I've been contemplating doing it since Brexit. I did all the research, did a sample exam online (I got 98% correct!), and then ..... I never pursued it. But now, I’m sick and tired of having to join the “Outside the EU” queue at passport control, while my EU contemporaries just swan through the blue channel.

Also, important for me is the vote. As I’ve indicated, I can now only cast my ballot in local elections. I want to vote in all elections and have my say in the country I chose to live in over 15 years ago.

© The Curmudgeon with Jennie Rhodes

Further reading:

Why can’t we have the vote? - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Acknowledgements:

BBC

Diario Sur

El Correo

Facebook

Jennie Rhodes

Paul Whitelock

SUR in English

YouTube

Tags:

Bojo the Clown. Boris Johnson, Brexit, Diario Sur, Donald Trump, Election, Europe, European election, EU, European Union, general election, Jennie Rhodes, Paul Whitelock, president of the USA, prime minister, SUR in English, UK, USA, vote