Spare a thought for Michael O'Leary, Chief Executive of 'Ryanair'.......

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."

Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"

"That is remarkable value" Michael comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 euro please."

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."

O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro".

BRILLIANT!!

Nice joke, but I have used Ryanair many times, and never had a bad experience.

Of course they will charge if you don't follow their rules, but if you read them in advance (as I do any time I book a flight, either if it's Ryanair, Jet2, Iberia or any other company), there will be no surprises.

My last flight was Alicante to Zaragoza, for only 24 €, with return. It's unbeatable.

Michael Oleary is a billionaire I think he wouldnt bat an eyelid

Great joke though more please

Rod

So funny!

Have a look at this with your speakers on.

Leslie

Yes I've seen that before and still laughed like a banshee, so funny!

If you obey the rules you have no problem have the right size bag, and dont be over weight, only for Micheal we would be paying a lot more for flights, I remember in the late sixtys to fly from Cork to London cost about €170 and you would have to stay over the Weekend otherwise it would be even more expencive.so well done Ryanair.......

Ryanair has rules,if you read them and agreee then you have no problem.

Before Ryanair we were screwed by the other airlines that flew in and out of Ireland.

Since Ryanair arrived nearly everybody can afford to get to anywhere in Europe.

Yes Michael O'Leary is a multi millionair thats because millions fly Ryanair.

Recently I flew from Dublin to Malaga for €19.00.

In 1970 that would have cost at least £190.00.

Well done Ryanair

Well I suppose if money is that important to you and you're happy to kowtow to RyanAir rules and obnoxious culture that's OK then.

But this thread is not about how cheap they are, it's a joke which I found very funny.

I just came on here to post the joke and the FA song, but someone has beaten me to it! Both great, though!

Agreed, they are excellent - also like this one :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

Here is an even bigger laugh

http://travel.aol.co.uk/2011/12/07/ryanair-passenger-numbers-fall-while-easyjets-increase/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cuk%7Cdl10%7Csec1_lnk2%7C87754

Spooky may be he cant afford that pint afterall

Ha Ha

Rod

Only 5.8% of people would use them thats quite low

Not totally surprised.   IMHO part of it is that O'Leary has based his publicity strategy on the "all publicity is good publicity concept" but that was proved wrong by Gerald Ratner with his "crap" jewellry speech.   Selling any product on price alone is not clever.

I think a lot of people who slate Ryanair don't travel with them.  They have bought, along with Easyjet, cheap airfares to Europe and opened up a lot of airports.  I flew Glasgow-London on the much heralded 'shuttle' in the mid 70s and it cost £100 then.  How much would that be now if that figure was corrolated?  I've only flown Easyjet once but I would avoid them like the plague, but I don't have any problem with Ryanair as long as you stick to the rules!

I nearly always travel with Ryanair, because they usually offer the cheapest fare. But only for that reason. Therefore, I feel entitled to criticise them - and I do so at every opportunity. Everything about their product is tacky and unpleasant. From the garish colours; the non-reclining seats; the cacaphonous fanfare if they land early; the constant barrage of selling things - from electronic cigarettes to lottery tickets to over-priced food and drink; aggressive and unfriendly, and often linguistically incompetent staff; having to stand in queues to board; having to walk through the rain and wind (any N European airport) instead of using an airbridge; and don't start me on the extra "optional" charges. It all adds up to a most unpleasant experience, albeit one I can endure for up to 3 hours.

I grant that they have been instrumental in bringing fares down and opening up Europe to the masses. But they have also caused huge problems in areas where they've pulled out all of a sudden, eg in France, Belgium and Spain (Granada, Jerez, Alicante? El Prat, Ciudad Real) leaving blighted airports and foreign homeowners and tourists with no local airport to fly to.

And let's not forget the other low-cost carriers who contributed to the revolution in air travel, notably easyJet. From 2000 we nearly always flew with them from Liverpool to Malaga on our frequent trips to Andalucía. They were great. Unfortunately, they rarely compete on price these days. Other budget airlines have been significant too - Air Berlin, Wizz-Air, Vueling, Jet2, Bmibaby. The whole experience is usually much more pleasant with them.

We are currently on a quick tour of relatives which involves flights from Malage to Frankfurt Hahn; Karlsruhe-Baden Baden to London Stansted; and Bristol to Malaga. All with Ryanair. Total cost for two of us - just over 200 euros. Unbelievably cheap.

But, I shall continue to criticise Ryanair and I shall continue to fly with them if they offer me the best deal.

Hypocritical? No, pragmatic!

Good post PablodeRonda and I agree that these days you have to be pragmatic on many things.

DonLochnagar - please can you justify your "I would avoid EasyJet like the plague comment" - I must have flown with them a hundred times or so and found them fine.  Some of the flight crews really make an effort.  But I struggle to understand how anyone can rate RyanAir above them - I would be interested to know your reason.

I've only flown with RyanAir twice.  I paid extra for the RyanAir version of speedy boarding which was a complete waste of money - on the outward trip the gate was called very late and it was chaos and no preference was given.  On the return trip we were held waiting on the tarmac for 20 minutes and had to walk 200 yards or so to the plane when people were literally running past us in the scramble.  Just an unpleasant environment.

I also had a silly niggle with them as they reckoned my  hand baggage was 1/2 a kilo over weight !   But the item I found most stupid was that RyanAir had removed the string magazine holder from the back of the seat in front.  Presumably to save the 10 mm of space it takes up and so they can move the seats even closer together.  To me this just demonstrates the contempt they have for their passengers safety and comfort.  I include "safety" as for me and I imagine most 6 foot people, I cannot possibly assume the brace position they witter on about in their pre-flight safety breifing.

But I take comfort in the expectation that RyanAir will not exist in a few years time - unless they change their ways.  They are becoming the "Skoda" of the travelling world and as soon as people have more money in their pocket or a viable alternative they will desert them.  RyanAir can hardly expect any customer loyalty.

I am smiling here at Acer's comments, I really like the analogies you use ie "Skoda" and "Ratners" and agree with you.  How can anyone say Ryanair are superior to Easyjet, weird!   I too take solace in the knowledge that Rudeair will not last too much longer.  It has been so obvious for so long that O'Bleary has put passenger safety at the bottom of the list.  I used Rudeair back in 1999 to fly from Dublin and had a terrible experience.  I tried them again and again a terrible experience, which is too lengthy to go into.  OK I thought third time lucky.  And this story I will relate.  I flew from Galway to Dublin and connected with Rudeair to Spain.  Had a lovely time in Spain and went to airport to return home and at Rudeair desk they said my suitcase was overweight and demanded £68, i asked how can this be?  I flew out with them and am returning with exactly the same stuff packed,  i made no purchases at all in Spain! We argued and they reduced this to £30 so I had to go along the counter to another desk and pay.  I returned to the initial counter and the girl (aged about 12) started wagging her finger at me telling me to behave etc and said if i argued anymore I would be banned from the flight.  Now it gets interesting.  I say you cannot ban me from the flight, i do believe only the captain has that power and as I understand the law I have to be considered a security risk or too drunk too travel, neither of which applies to me, so be my guest and go speak to the captain.  Now on the previous two occasions I had flown I had travelled in the cockpit with the captain as I am a nervous passenger and I had become somewhat acquainted with a certain captain.  So off miss girl trotted and returned looking sufficiently infuriated and literally threw my passport and ticket at me!  It transpired she went to the cpatain and he of course remembered me and ordered her to let me on.  I travelled back in the cockpit with him.  He was a lovely man and had actually secured another position with a different airline and that was his last flight with Rudeair.  I have  never used them again, nor would I.  They are the very epitome of an inferior airline in every respect.  I could relay a few other stories of friends experiences.  You coulnd't make them up if you tried.  Perhaps a screen writer could write a sit-com about Rudeair, as I think that may be hilarious.  We are coming to Spain in Feb and was using Easyjet, we have always had a fairly good experience with them, but unfortunately the dates we wanted are now unavailable, so we are trying Monarch.  I used Monarch I remember back in the 70's and i don't recall having had a bad experience, but if someone else knows different perhaps you would like to share?

Over the last few years I've flown back and forth to and from Spain, Germany and the UK a lot of times. Therefore for me the price is all important and I generally go for the cheapest. This is usually Ryanair, but not always, so I have flown occasionally with easyJet, Monarch, BmiBaby and Jet2, all of which offer a superior experience to O'Leary's lot. So, Foxilady, I wouldn't worry about Monarch.

When I travel I just want to get from A to B as cheaply as possible. When I consider that I've just recently flown from Malaga to Frankfurt Hahn; from Karlsruhe Baden-Baden to London Stansted; and from Bristol to Malaga for around 100 euros including all taxes, fees and charges, I reckon I've achieved that objective.

I'm puzzled, however; the flight crews on all three routes were very pleasant, which was never the case when I used to fly the Liverpool to Malaga/Granada (now withdrawn, sadly) routes regularly. Do Scouse crews get different training? Or none at all, perhaps ...

We've used Ryanair countless times and to be honest, I've never had any problems with them at all.

A couple of years ago we (four of us) travelled through four countries in 8 days, using just Ryanair flights and each flight was spot on.  The total price for the four of us, for five flights was €240.

Susan even rang their complaints department afterwards and totally threw the staff there...she was ringing to thank them for five faultess flights.

I suppose everyone's experience is different but can't say I've had any bad experiences with them.

Justin