needing some advice

Hi all,I FEEL I'M IN A BIT OF A DILEMMA AND WOULD LOVE TO HEAR VIEWS FROM OTHERS.MY HUSBAND,MYSELF AND 2 BOYS AGED 10 &15 ARE PLANNING TO PERMANENTLY MOVE TO CDS NEXT YEAR(MY BROTHER ALREADY LIVES THERE) PROBLEM IS MY 18YR OLD DAUGHTER DOES NOT WANT TO COME,BUT SHE IS MAKING ME FEEL REALLY BAD FOR THINKING OF MOVING WITHOUT HER.SHE HAS JUST GRADUATED AND HAS A LONG TERM BOYFRIEND.I FEEL IF I DON'T GO BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO WILL I BE LOSING FOR THE REST OF MY FAMILY(MY BOYS CAN'T WAIT TO GO)WILL I BE A BAD MOTHER FOR GOING AND LEAVING HER BEHIND?LOVE TO HEAR YOUR VIEWS FOR HELP.THANKS

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A bad mother ? NO, Valf, of course you're not.

At 18, just graduated & with a long term boyfriend, your daughter is on the brink of her own adult life. You're only around a 2.5 hour flight away & it's HER decision to leave you, not the other way around. Sorry she's making you feel bad. You stay positive & look forward to living in Spain. You owe it to yourself, your husband & your sons to go.

Your daughter will be booking on a plane to see you as soon as you've moved over to the CDS, you won't have to worry on that score. The lure of Puerto Banus will beckon & all will be well, don't fret. 

Good luck.

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Hi Valf,. I am sorry you are feeling guilty about leaving your daughter dont be teenagers can be very good at that and believe me I know.  It can be very hard, does she mind you going?   If not than you get out to Spain and have fun I am sure your boys will love it and they are the ones growing up.  Has she plenty of money for the plane trips over to see you because that is what she will be wanting.   Have fun and enjoy it.   Take care Pat

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I don't have kids so maybe am not qualified to comment but that won't stop me!!! If you have asked her to gowith you and she has said no then that is her choice. What if you moved to the other end of the country? Would she move with you? Just because it's Spain shouldn't make a difference. As many people have said when posting about travelling back and forward Spain is not Australia and it only takes 2 and a bit hours. It takes more time to travel a few miles at home sometimes. Good luck with your decision. Noreen

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thank you all for your advice,i do feel a bit better now after reading others thoughts.I know I will still worry about leaving her behind but ultimately I have to think of my 2 boys as well.Hopefully I'm doing the right thing.All advice from this site does help a lot - I don't feel quite so alone somehow.thank you all.

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Valf hi,

Just seen your post.  I am sure you are doing the right thing moving to CDS.  The weather for one thing.

I remember a while ago in a television programme a young girl late teens was talking to an elderly woman saying she was thinking of moving to America to live and work but could not make up her mind as to whether it was the right course for her or not and had deliberated long and hard.

The older wiser woman replied that if she had been thinking about it for a long time (which she had) then surely it must be the right decision for her so suggested she go which is what she did in the end and it all turned out well.

Good luck to you all.

Impey

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