The view from the back

Monday 

Bumped into one of our prospective builders this morning down at the post box and took the chance to bring him up to speed , we agreed that we ought to get together and put some detail into the plans so we agreed to meet on Wednesday morning . 

That afternoon we met with our solicitor and the agent to review the final paperwork and of course locate and replant the missing almond trees. We met in his town centre office more akin to Philip Marlowe than LA Law , let's hope his skills are of the legal sort rather than interior design ! 

He first brought us up to date with the question of the electrical supply and that it was ok to expand to 5.25 kWh without re certifying and to 15 kWh with some minor work and re certifying , the current supply is rated at 4.5 kWh and looks smaller !  Not what the power hungry lovely wife is used to . 

We covered the remeasure and I had to laugh when even he then got it mixed up trying to explain it to me ( more on this later ) now as we all knew the trees never really moved  a root but did manage to slide on to a different page ??

As some of you may know, as we now do ALL pieces of land and property have their own registration in the  catastro With a reference number , even the cortijo and the land it's stood on being listed separate from the land it's stood in, yes we have a page for 10 acres of land with a hole in it where the cortijo stands saying we are buying the 10 acres around the hole and another with the opposite a cortijo in a field  with no means off access ? 

The missing trees due to being across the dirt track are separate thus have their own page and deed , reference etc etc as do the other bits that make up the whole, confused ? You will be ! 

By now it's 7.30 pm and he says this is what will happen on Friday at the notary ! What this Friday ? Si this Friday at 10 am . 

He then ran us through the process and explained again the fees and taxes to be paid after , the fees are for the notary , land registry and of course his fees ! The tax is the standard 8% on the agreed price this needs to be paid within 13 days, not of the sale as you would expect but of the papers produced by the notaries office and theses could be a week a month or who knows when so could I please save the money LOL , only here could a sentence end with the statement , I'm sending you a  11,000€ bill but I don't know when ! 

the subject of professional services and taxes unfolded further with a request that struck me as very odd ; rather than get a bank draft for the full amount could the vendors solicitor have part of the sum in cash so she can pay his over seas sellers tax of 3% and his notary fees , agents fees , architects fees and her fees as they all have no confidence in him paying them after the draft has been sent to the UK ! Who is this guy ? 

Now you will remember that our back water bank are very friendly and helpful but completely incapable of supply cash in excess of the weekly shopping even when given notice as we tried when buying the car. So trying to arrange the best part of 8,000€ at 3 days notice is frankly a non starter , I tried to explain but he thought they would arrange it when they know it's important , yeh I bet . 

Tuesday, 

We had an early start to be down at the bank for when they opened only to be greeted by the stench of , yep you've guessed it sewerage , the man hole cover popped up again and the over flow running in the shed , as predicted , so another text sent and a voice mail and another e mail , still no reply to the last lot sent do they have EHO's in Spain ? 

Down at the bank we explained our request and got the answer we expected that they are unable to stock that much cash ? As we were un sure of the exact amount of the draft as we did not have the total of the amount needed in cash it was all a bit of a farce. As always with their willingness to help they arranged for 10,000€ to be available on Friday morning at a different branch, nearly a year ago opinion on the forum was that this bank chain was rubbish and over charged , I am so happy that that was the first bit of advice I chose to ignore as we have found that after 34 years of banking in a millennium where service is not the norm they have yet to let us down. 

For the record the other advice ignored from the forum was every thing to do with the NIE process as all offerings were wrong. 

Wednesday

We met with our builders at the villa and put the detail on our future plans for a refurbish of the cortijo and a pool , so we now have details of where to go to select tiles and ceramics for the bathrooms , kitchen , pool area etc with a start date in early June . They were quite surprised when I had prepared a spec sheet for each room detailing items right down to waste disposal and outlet locations saving a lot of discussion :-) . 

By Wednesday evening we had still not had the final detail of the cash / draft split or the full name of the seller for the draft , after e mails and calls even up to 10.30 pm . All to no avail. 

Thursday 

The dawn broke to the now expected smell of drains followed by the realisation that we still had no information and it was just 24hrs to our date with the notary ! So windows closed and on the phone after a few calls we have an e mail with all the required details . So from a purchase valued at a round number we end up with a odd numbered draft and 8,000€ plus change in cash . 

So once more off to the bank to arrange the draft and confirm the cash, the next stop is up to the cortijo to confirm the inventory and meter readings , whilst on route we had a call from the agent to say he couldn't make it and to confirm the readings with Colin who has the keys and he would see us in the morning . 

We arrived at the cortijo early keen to get back to sit and stare , the sun was out and the only sounds were the tits and finches that flitted about the garden , the open south facing aspect showing great promise for days to come. But this is no garden of Eden , well not with your eyes open any way. 

Colin arrived with the keys and this great old guy once more let us in and showed us around like a tour guide at the British museum taking his charge very seriously , he picked up on the lovely wife's dislike of plastic patio furniture and asked if he could have the folding patio chairs , as we won't go near them we agreed and threw in the table and six chairs he was well pleased , I think were ok with one neighbour at least . 

As we were leaving I asked what his plans were for the keys ? That's ok the agents calling for them today , Mmmmm I thought . 

That evening when we got home ( home there's a loose term these days ) the iPad sang out as it shook hands with the wifi and the best laid plans had changed , no longer are we to be at the notary in Vera at 10 am but at the one in Albox for noon and no address err ! As we're were going to the notary in Vera we arranged the cash in the Vera branch next door to the notary . 

Friday 

Up before next doors cockerel started boasting and once more reminded that  the drain still needs fixing but not today. 

Today will see the end of a phase and the beginning of the next in this plan that's been rolling out since November 2011 when I as awarded this fine opportunity and so far were slightly ahead of schedule and surprisingly better than budget . 

We had arranged to meet our solicitor for coffee at 11am as we had no idea of where the notary office is. When we arrived at our bank to collect the draft we found that it wasn't ready to collect as said 23 hrs earlier but was quickly prepared so with that in the folder it's off to Vera to get the cash the cashier at our branch phoning ahead to let them know of our arrival. 

As we pulled up I parked bang out side the notary office at 9.30 shame it's now the wrong office timing would have been great . In the bank that had just had a call to say we were on route to collect the cash that was ordered to be collected before 10am they said could we call back in 15 mins while they arranged it ? So a wander around the square and back in for the cash , 16 x 500€ and change as ordered but no we get 160 x 50€ or a brick so much so that the zip folder hardly closed. But it all spends so it's off to meet our man José. 

Time to relax with a coffee and pass on the meter readings , José travelled with us to the notary in Albox hidden on a one way back street  with no parking , not like Vera ! 

In the notary it's bedlam with all manor of transactions taking place , organised chaos ? Let's hope so ! 

Then were up, in to one of the many rooms with José for him to read the paperwork to us as there are five items this is a tedious but essential task that throws up a few spectacular ERRORS in typing the first and repeated on every page ( don't you love cut n paste ) is that the lovely wife and I now both have the same name , it's amazing what you can get notarised these days. The second is believe it or not the wrong measurements for the upstairs repeated on the selling details and the buying details good old cut n paste again , as we've been told check and keep checking ! 

Due to the volume of completions the typing pool were unable to press replace selection and print so the notary sat and initialed each alteration as he skimmed through it all , ( I wonder how they managed to slip all that rubbish paperwork past this system in years gone by ? ) chatting in Spanish with the two solicitors about family and children's parties  ( my Spanish is getting better but I don't let on :-)  ) 

A signature a hand shake and he's gone .... Not wanting to be present for the dirty business of cash on the table. With our heads spinning and the emotion of the moment we joined with José to put together the deposit now in cash from the agent now passed on to José together with our brick of 50's and the draft , now school boy maths tells you that a combination of notes denominated in the tens and hundreds columns combined with a odd numbered draft can not add up to a figure in the thousands column , after many recounts and lots of Spanish beyond my grade I'm told all is ok , Bally Bally . 

Confused but wanting to move on we agreed to go with the flow if their happy we're  happy , more hand shakes and hugs ? The personal service lol . Just a minute ! Paperwork ? Receipt ? KEYS ? 

Receipt and paperwork will follow from the notary and José keys ? What keys ? The other solicitor looked guilty and she owned up to having left them at her office ! No worry the agent is in the hall he's got Colin's set ! Phew ! 

The agent then owned up to not collecting the keys as it was late the day before , so there we are no cash left no keys , a call to Colin and he agreed to meet us and the agents wife was dispatched with the vendors solicitor to collect her keys and we all agreed to meet at OUR Cortijo in an hour, OUR Cortijo ! 

So once more were sat outside in the sunshine watching the finches we had a bottle of cava in the car and decided it would be fitting to do a F1 to the cortijo and showered it with the lot getting just a sip each . 

Sat mulling the days twists and turns I asked the lady wife how much cash she had left ? Expecting it to be about 145€ the change from the withdrawal , the answer - 100€ ?? Now it's our turn for some basic maths , the answer we over paid by 45€ , see I even ignored my own advice , check and keep checking ! 

I remember being off school Ill many years ago now and watching crown court at lunch time as this was before the days of sky+ or even VHS only those of a similar age or a mother will probably know this show but in its time it was quite addictive as the tension grew towards the verdict on Friday when the jury came back and either gave you a smug glow or dashed your views. 

Well I don't know about you but the waiting for this verdict is driving us mad it's been 4 weeks now and we have just chased the town hall about the letter of intent for a swimming pool at the Cortjio we are hoping to buy , the answer yes you guessed it " we'll let you know " we have been promised an answer by the end of the week ! Mind they didn't say which week ! 

While we have been here in Spain sorting out our NIE then a new car , then looking for a place to buy we have felt like were in limbo, no longer driving our own road . We have always been very straight forward people lucky enough to be able to address house hold repairs directly when required , this rental game is not sitting well with us our lease actually says we are forbidden from hanging any pictures by any means without written permission ! 

Now you land lords out there are saying too right , don't want the villa back like a Swiss cheese , we took this to mean that the owner would be house proud and wanting to protect his villa but no . As regulars are aware there's been nothing but problems and they have been very difficult to address rubbing my irritation bone to distraction going cap in hand each time there a fault and we've had a couple of dozen of them at least , I gave up with the bath tap that won't pass hot water and replaced it myself and bought the part I thought 6 months was enough of a wait, I will swap it back when we leave :-) 

We're currently getting the strong drain smell again that's a precursor for the drains to over flow for the third time since July.  The drain man says he's been many times before as the drains are damaged and run up hill a little thus collecting " solids " until the liquid will no longer pass. He charges €100 to jet it out and the owner thinks this is better then replacing 12m of drain ??? 

A few weeks ago we had a burst under the kitchen sink from a split hose , a new tap was fitted a couple of days later but in doing so the isolation valve was damaged and hardly passes enough water to induce the gas heater to kick in , new valve , no chance . 

All these little things that would normally have been addressed by us have been giving us the irrites and we need to move out of here hopefully into our own place and gain control of our lives again. 

Thursday , Friday , Monday all came and went on Tuesday after 35 days we had news and it was great the town architect had replied in writing under the ayuntamiento seal that after investigation and subject to the appropriate licence fees and application a swimming pool could be built . WERE ON ! 

With this news we felt the need to celebrate so two very large steaks and a bottle or two of cava were consumed as is our way ! 

So to move things on we have paid the remainder of the deposit and have had the Cortijo remeasured to bring it into line with the deeds since the upstairs is half missing , having been so for many years . This is of course at the sellers cost as he chose not to do so 15 years ago for some reason ? 

In doing this we had some debate re the actual size of the place becoming confused by the difference between the internal floor space , this being about 150m2 and the foot print of 201m2 the difference being the thick walls, these actually counting twice in some parts as the walls around the upstairs are counted again in addition to the same walls around the lower floor !  Foot print ? It's like saying my belly makes my feet bigger LOL 

In the exchanges by e mail trying to under stand the measurements we were sent copies of previous measures , by the owner, the rate office and the dept of agriculture ! This has caught my eye as the document gives details of the land use and the area of each use , yes you've guessed it some's missing , not the garden , or the drive way or the bit behind the wood shed , no it's the 22,000m2 with the 300 almond trees on the only bit out of the 70,000m2 marked on the agents map that shows any sign of potential or attractiveness. 

So we have a meeting to look for the 2.2 acres , I think they are still behind the house but the dept of agriculture say NO . So if you see 300 trees with pink blossom wandering the side of the autovia looking for a drink please let me know :-) 

As they say check everything , I don't want the burden of 300 trees but neither do I want to pay for them if there not mine , I'll let you know.