Spanish life: the highs and the lows

I have now dealt with essential starting paperwork, and now down to my nitty gritty grumpy Keith advice on how to make a success of your life in Spain, avoid the ex-pat drinking culture as if it were a plague!

It is the elephant in the room, the fuel for every ex-pat feud, the cause of marital break up, the origins of malicious gossip, and the reason so many people are not happy in their life in the sun.

Alcohol.

At our UK homes, with their prohibitive pub prices, drinking heavily could only be afforded by the rich, or if poor, drunk at home sometimes stooping to White Lightening or other high strength ciders that have never seen an apple.

But Spain, ah, that is a different story. The bar prices for drinks are so low, and the supermarket cost of wine, less than a euro for a rather nice red! And less than five euros for spirits, ah, there's the rub.

When I first arrived in Spain I rented in Casarbonela, and it was there I first witnessed pissed drunk Brits whiling away hour after hour in the local bar and pushing drinks on all and sundry. And push they do. It is 11am and you walk past, 'Hi, come on in, It's Keith isn't it, have a beer with me, only 11am, nonsense, you are on your holiday'. But of course I was not on my holiday, I was starting a new life, and one that would be handicapped if I started regularly drinking during the day.

And friendly drunks are one thing, and it often starts happy , and jokey, but then, the angry drunks, the morose drunks, pervy drunks, the sweary bleary drunks, and it is not yet 5pm.

Now if you are reading this it is because you are concerned for your own welfare or for someone else, so here is a list, ten questions, note down every time you say yes to the following:

When sober do you sometimes regret things you said, or did, when drunk?

Have you failed to keep promises you made to yourself about cutting down on your drinking?

Have you driven while drunk?

Do you budget for your drinking before your food?

Do you feel depressed or experience self-loathing because of your drinking habits?

Has a friend, partner, of family member shown concern about your drinking?

Have you experienced memory blackouts?

Do you start drinking earlier in the day now than you used to?

Do you ever have a few extra drinks at home before going out?

Do you feel uncomfortable if out and there is no alcohol available?

If you have answered yes to six or more questions that you undoubtedly have a severe drinking problem. This will bring about depression, anxiety, anti social behaviour, and health problems, you know you must do something about it. And if you have answerd yes to more than one qustion you should start self analysing your life, what do you want from it?

Consider the OYNB online support group, this a paid for service, starts at about 40 euros, it begins with a 28 day alcohol free period, with support and it challenges your relationship with alcohol, this is an ideal intro to sobriety:

https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/takethechallenge/

Not many people realise that Spain has an effective Alcoholics Anonymous system, with a huge nimber of groups all over Spain. There is only one requirement for membership, and that is the desire to stop drinking, founded as a Christian organisation there is mention of God, or of a higher being, but do not be put off, many many atheists go quite happily. There is no obligation to attend meetings, you are free to leave at any time.

AA follows the 12 step programme, which involves accepting the fact that you are an alcoholic, changing your behaviour, and using other members of the community for support.

The list of meetings is here: http://www.aaspain.org/meetings/directory.html

It takes courage to avoid alcohol, and the social aspect of drinking, and you can trust yourself to to overcome alcohol addiction, but you will need support. You will thank yourself when you achieved sobriety, recovered your life, your health, your positive friendships. You will regain your interest in life, regain your hobbies, properly interact with family, get restful sleep, you can enjoy yourself again, free from the worry of where the next drink is coming from.

Denuncia, what it is, and how to make one

Making a report to the police is called a Denuncia, there are many articles about this but I am using the explanation given by a good friend, a Spanish policeman, who describes the process and outcomes.

Basically you should not tolerate any situations which you feel may be illegal, the Spanish legal system is designed to protect people. So when we witness a crime, are the victims of a crime, or need legal advice on a perceived crime we should go to the nearest police station. 

It does not matter which police station, a Local Policia or a Civil Policia, though in general the more serious crime should go to the Civil police station.

There is a phone service for non Spanish speakers on 902 102112, available from 9am to 9pm, this will give you a case number which needs to to be ratified at your police station, this is ideal for lost documents or for insurance claims where proof of a police report is essential.

Obviously more serious crimes are reported as soon as possible (phone 112) and the police called out to the scene. But in this article we are talking about making a denucnia because of property crime, feeling unsafe, more minor assaults, and a couple of 'crimes' that will surprise you because in the UK they are dealt with in the civil courts.

Firstly, make sure you know what you want to report. If it is a person you will need to give as much information about that person as possible, their name, their address (if you know it, but where they can be found, at work say, or a regular haunt). The date and time/times of the events, and the names and addresses of any witnesses.

You will need to bring your passport, have your NIE number if yo have one, and your residency documents if you are a resident.

And if you are not sure if a crime has been committed or if a law has been broken do not hesitate to go in and ask, the police will know better than anyone else whether a crime has occurred. 

You can make a report in writing but it is more usual to explain the problem and answer questions.  the answers and questions will be written down in a report. If you do not speak Spanish take someone with you who does (or use the  902 102112 number)

What happens next?

Certain crimes can be dealt with immediately by the officers, for example a witnessed theft with high probability of the goods still being on the felons property.

But it is more likely that a report will be sent to a magistrate who will either order a court date, further investigation, or a dismissal of the accusation.

Even when dismissed the police can go and have a quiet word with the accused and in my opinion this is better than nothing.

Even after the magistrate has decided that the case has enough evidence to go to court the victim will be encouraged tp settle with the accused. So for example if CCTV proves that someone deliberately scratched your car, you will asked to drop the case in return for a respray paid for by the accused and an apology. If you refuse this you might well find that an intermediary will visit you and propose a respray, and apology, and 200 euros, with a long story about how ashamed the was, how it will damage his career etc etc. It is hard to to not give in to this pressure, and the courts and police system encourage this kind of settlement.

Slander and libel in the UK are civil matters, but in Spain they are criminal matters. Called Calumnia, or Difamacion, it is above the level that would be standard to other countries, there is a far more robust 'stick and stones' attitude, but if anyone commits Calumny, either with an outright lie, or a reckless disregard for the truth, then the Police will get involved and it may well be bought to court.

An example is from a neighbouring town, regarding a man who was an altar server in his local church. An altar server does tasks at the altar such as fetching and carrying, rings the alter bell etc. A Welsh couple had seen him do this and had assumed he was a Catholic priest, therefore not  allowed to marry. On seeing this man at the local park playing with young children, petting them, buying ice cream, giving piggy backs etc, they spread the rumour that he was a pedophile. In fact they were his grandchildren.The rumour mongers even posted pictures on Facebook. This was reported and a court date date was given. The case was dropped with a public apology and a repainting of the church exterior, at a cost of over 2000 euros.

I have only ever made one denuncia, I was continually being abused by a drunk woman,  in the UK I would have got a restraining order, but in  Spain I just went to the local police station, I had witness evidence, the police called on her and I was never bothered by her again.

Denuncias are anonymous, (but I imagine the accused knows who made them, see the example of drunk woman above) the accused is not told who made the accusation, but to ensure that the denuncia system is not used maliciously you should be aware that the penalties for a false declaration are severe.

My friend the police officer is astonished at how few denuncias are made by the local ex-pat population in his town. The Brits in particular seem to never make complaints even though they are often the crime victims of other Brits. He is aware of two Brit families that have frequently burgled, stolen from, and cheated newcomers. There have been shouting matches in bars, and even slaps, but when the police turn up the  victims just slope off. And this means that the perpetrators are able to continue their nasty ways, because with no denuncia nothing can be done.

But please, give your experience of the denuncia system, have you used it?