Some weeks ago my lady had her purse stolen in a Chinese emporium. We duly reported it to the police, with the information that the emporium had CCTV installed. A couple of weeks later a very nice lady, who arrived in a taxi that waited outside for her, came with a letter instructing my wife to attend the Torremolinos Court as the police had identified and arrested three men and they had had a date set for trial. We went to Court yesterday. Drove there and parked in a pay and park car park right next to the courthouse. Before entering the court my wife and I were electronically 'buzzed' by the two Guardia Civil officers on duty at the entrance, after my wife had shown them her court summons and her passport. We then came to a waiting room where a number of bored looking people sat. There were two doors leading off from the waiting room, on entering one we were waved away by a crusty old lady. So we entered the second corridor off which a number of open doors all with the Spanish word for 'Lawyer' on them. After no joy with all the rooms we entered the last one and two women stood talking by a window. After a few minutes, which seems longer when you're waiting, one of the women, having finished her conversation with her colleague, tiredly beckoned us over. My wife handed her the letter, and the woman told us in Spanish that we were to take a seat in the waiting room, and a translator from Malaga would be requested. We sat in the waiting room for over an hour, and then an English speaking lady informed us that the three men had not turned up. She said they had probably returned to their own countries, and if the police did manage to apprehend them we would be informed of a new court appearance date. We got up early that day, wasted a morning, paid for diesel for my 4 x 4, and paid 5€ for the pleasure of parking whilst waiting. There is no lesson to be learned from this, because if it happens again we have to go through the whole routine a second time....or maybe a third time.......or maybe a.........
We have two dogs close by that bark incessantly from around 8 in the morning until the owners arrive home about 8pm. They sometimes even bark after that. Complaints about the dogs falls on 'deaf' ears (Excuse the pun!) as the owner is a member of the Guardia Civil, and the President of the Community and the local council are afraid of the consequences to them if they cause a fuss.
A Canadian friend of ours was ejected from the local ice rink yesterday. Apparently they took exception when he cut a round hole in the ice and tried to start fishing.
A survey in the USA apparently shows that two out of three women have had sex with someone in their office. When I was there I couldn't even get the toner cartridge into the blasted copier!!
Here's a tip to save money. Don't take any shirts to the dry cleaners, because they charge £2.95. Take them to the local charity shop and wait. They'll get them cleaned, and then you can buy them from the shop for a pound. Thus saving yourself nearly two quid.
I remember when my first child was born, a lovely little boy. I held him in my arms and gently stroked his head and kissed him, it was a moment I'll savour for the rest of my life. My wife, in the background, meanwhile muttered, "If you ever come near me again so help me God I'll stick the carving knife in you!"
My wife, just before we got married, said, "I'm worried that after we're married a beautiful girl will come along and you'll forget all about me". I told her, "No way darling. I'll write you once a week without fail". I still have the scar, just above my left eye.
Just before my divorce from my first wife, we were laying in bed reminiscing. I said to her "Do you remember those balmy nights on the lake? We were so in love, happy, and silly. I drank champagne from your shoe..........three litres of it. It would have been more, but you were wearing inner soles."
Everyone says that looks don't matter, that age doesn't matter, and that money doesn't matter. Have you ever seen an ancient old guy, ugly as sin, and broke, with a good looking young woman???
My third novel, a thriller, which is set in Norfolk, "The Wednesday Women" is now on sale in Jarrolds of Norwich, on Kindle, from Amazon UK, and in WH Smiths.
Placido Miercoles.