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Watching the BBC News just now, so sad for people who keep getting their homes flooded. They have no chance, can't sell - who would buy? First question on the prospective buyer's list is. 'Is this property ever flooded?'. Some can only get limited insurance. We all know that Insurance companies, like banks, SELL you an umbrella when the weathers fine, and then want it back as soon as the first rain drop falls. With so many unemployed in the UK, why can't we get a national flood defence network of structures set up, and employ people to build them? We can always find the finance for military adventures like Afghanistan, Iraq, and Libya, but never for the NHS, Pensioners, and worthwhile projects like flood defence. Even our coastlines are being left to the elements for 'lack' of finance.

On this planet Earth less than 100,000 people hold assets in excess of $127 Trillion. NB: A Trillion is 1000 Billion. Makes your eyes water doesn't it? Those people could solve all of the problems on this planet with regards poverty, disease, and the like. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed......

I am a keen golfer, my favourite shots are the practice swing, and when I have been given a 'gimme'. The thing that annoys me terribly is when I miss an easy putt having been put off because of all that noise that the butterflies make in the field next to the course.

My granddaughter was asked if she could have a chat with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be? She replied, "I'm not stupid, I'd pick a live one".

A man is worried about his failing eyesight. His optician tells him he'll have to stop masturbating. The man asks worriedly, "Am I going blind?" The optician replies "No, it's just that it's very upsetting for others in the waiting room".