Author

UK has too much, here in Spain it's falling just right. Nice and steady, good for gardens, and helps the reservoirs.. I'm moving house, quite nice really, as not getting hot and sweaty lugging things around. The next obstacle is getting Movistar to turn up on the right day, at the right time, at the correct address, and having the right gear to pulse my ADSL speed up to at least 6 meg. I've lit every candle in the cathedral, danced naked at midnight around chicken bones, promised him upstairs that I won't blaspheme for at least a year, and look, I'll even be nice to my mother in law, if just once Movistar do it right first time........!!!

Although I'm an author, I always wanted to be an actor but I failed my audition as Romeo. My copy of the script clearly stated, "Enter Juliet from the rear..............................."

Sex therapists reckon that communication is the key to a healthy sex life, so if you're making love to your partner, for goodness sake tell them.

I really hate name dropping, as I told JK Rowling the other day.