My lady and I went to see 'Django Unchained' last evening. As one would expect from a Tarantino film it had plenty of blood, action, and gore running through it. Very entertaining though.
I don't like magic or scifi movies, because I try to figure out how it's done, and I get frustrated....bit like porn videos really.....
Played golf at Marbella this morning with an old mate. Beautiful course, good company, and a lovely sunny day. Perfect. Oh and I won. When I got home my school teacher daughter phoned up to tell us that in Norfolk they've had another two inches of snow overnight. How awful, poor things, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
The last time I went skiing I broke a leg...Well, the stupid man shouldn't have got in my way, then he would have been OK. I've given it up now, I have made a policy that I never do any sport that has ambulances at the bottom of the hill. It's like the Luge. My policy on that would be - 'Lie flat and try not to die!
Stretch pants - the garment that made women's skiing a spectator sport.
Football this afternoon, my lot play Luton so we should win. I tried coaching a football team once but resigned because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me....
Thank God that Hypochondria is the one disease I haven't got. On applications it always has the Question, 'In case of emergency notify....' I always put 'Doctor', nothing else makes sense. If I wrote 'Wife' that's useless, she's not medically trained at all, she'd be no damned good in an emergency!
I've just heard that George Osborne is ill. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
After my Dad had his bypass surgery, the doctor said, "Soon you'll be able to have sex". My Dad replied "I've heard that for years!" A little later he had an operation for piles. He said then that all his troubles were behind him. He complained to his dentist that his teeth were going yellow, and what should he do. The dentist replied, "Wear a brown necktie".
My brother is blind, and one day he received two seeing eye guide dogs. I asked him "Why two?" He replied that one was for reading.
They're talking now about 'Medicinal marijuana'. Can't they start slower? Like 'Medicinal chocolate?' Or Medicinal whiskey?'
As I had a bad bout of 'flu over Christmas I was put on anti-biotics for the chest infection. This meant, of course, no alcohol. Eventully as all around me were getting merry, my son asked "Dad, can I tempt you to have a drink?". I replied "OK, well maybe just a tiny triple please".
My favourite drink is carrot juice and whiskey. When I get drunk I can see for miles.
Have a peaceful weekend.