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Health and Personal Development of young adults

For many years I have been involved in the personal development and health of teenagers and young adults. I have gained an insight into the way their minds work (or don´t work) and the reasons for many of their behaviors. There is nothing that will surprise me at this stage in my career and all sorts of information will land on this blog. Hopefully some of it will help!

Develop the Skill of Gratitude
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 1:41 PM

 

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 Just today in class we were doing an exercise in Personal Development and discussing the skills we have in life now as we start our course in Health and Social care. We journeyed through numeracy, literacy, being a team worker and all the usual skills that would come to the mind of a teenager or young adult.

Just to make life interesting I threw in the word “Gratitude”  and  was not surprised when I got a sea of blank faces… .eh what ?…….what is she on about now?

What´s that ?imagescartton pupils Develop the skill of Gratitude

Now in all honesty I did not expect them to throw themselves fully into this discussion but what I really wanted to do was plant a seed of though that feeling “gratitude” is a skill  that they should look at and one that they could grow over time .

The ability to be grateful….it´s quite simple really …… We are grateful for what we have.

My purpose in throwing this skill into the discussion is to try and show teenagers that if they stop looking at the blocks and the limitations they place on themselves they can develop a more open view of people of life in general and the world we live in.

In our western society where happiness and contentment are assumed to be connected to wealth and fame it is difficult to main focus and attention on developing this skill of gratitude but it will grow if we can maintain our focus. We are bombarded daily with stories of the rich and famous in the media so its not surprising that children grow up assuming that money somehow makes us successful and happy.

As the discussion in class moved forward and we all started to add the aspects of life we are grateful for it was enlightening to say the least and fun as well  !

We looked at all those aspects in life that we take for granted in our western Society.

Free Health care, a home to live in, feeling secure in our homes and getting a good education were a few that were mentioned.

So does being grateful make us happy?

I cannot give you the answer to that as it is something you have to ask yourself. ……. but I can tell you  a story .

The happiest people I have ever met where the children from the remote African Villages where we grew up in Northern Uganda. They had no shoes on their feet and most of the time had little clothes.images african children Develop the skill of Gratitude

 So what made them happy?

 The rim of a bicycle wheel and a stick to roll it along the ground…..

     Learn to be Grateful!

A Free ebook- The Power of gratitude


 



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15 Comments


eggcup said:
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 12:49 PM

How true, Kathyd. I'm trying to teach my own children the same thing, as gratitude is apparently quite closely related to happiness. I feel grateful for my warm home, as I write, with my cheery gas fire, a hot cup of tea and a lovely lab lying near me on the couch. It's raining outside and even that's nice, because I can see it and hear it but I don't have to be out in it. I think we write lists of 50 things a day that we should be grateful for in the Western world. It can also lead us on to think about people who do not have all of these luxuries and comforts and hopefully can then lead to us giving more of our wealth away to those who need it. And then we feel good for having given to others.


kathy said:
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 1:08 PM

This is a skill that I feel is forgotten about in the teenage generation now. We only have to look at the talent programs on TV where the candidates are hoping for success so that "their lives will change forever"
Their whole reason for being happy is based on extrinsic factors such as wealth and it is sad because unless they learn how to develop their inner happiness through being grateful then that happiness will always be out of reach. The skill of gratitude is not an easy skill for a teenage to develop and even at my age (getting on a bit) I find myself sometimes slipping back into that illusion of "if I had this or that" I do however quickly bring myself back on track!

Glad you enjoyed the article!


Patricia (Campana) said:
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 2:42 PM

You put it perfectly, Eggcup. I can't add anything to that.

I feel, Kathy, that it is not just today's teenagers who don't know what gratitude is (although of course we can't generalize about all teenagers). Many teenagers I know actually do volunteer work, depending on age, and are more than mature in their view of the world. Of course it all goes back to parenting...

Many adults, and they were adults, got caught up completely in the outlandish consumerism which had a large part in producing our present woes. I used to call them "two of everything".








kathy said:
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 3:03 PM

no of course Patricia, we cannot generalize and I hope I do not make them out to be a bleak lot....not at all .I think I will start writing some articles on some of thier achievements!
By the way I love your comment "two of everything"...love it


Patricia (Campana) said:
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 @ 3:29 PM

Many thanks, Kathy.

I could write a book on the "two of everything" (aka nouveau riche) brigade. Perhaps some of these people did not realise the hilarity they caused.




eggcup said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 8:25 AM

Christmas is of course a real time when children especially think that extrinsic factors will make them happy. I'm trying to prepare my son, who has been saving for months for a gaming PC (he will pay for most of it from money received for work he's done for me and I will pay for some of it), that this 'thing' will not deliver to him ever-lasting happiness. 'It's a thing,' I tell him, 'that's all.' It takes a while for us to learn in life that things do not make us happy. Another friend who is splitting up from her partner, said that 'they no longer make each other happy.' I think that also we cannot make someone else responsible for our happiness (another extrinsic factor), but that we have to look internally. We should not give someone else that power, for a start.


Yogi said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 11:13 AM

So true and cannot be said loud enough. Being grateful is the key to happiness. It does not mean having no ambition, on the contrary, but to keep being aware of what we have. And eggcup is right about giving (money, time, love) having a big feel-good factor. It is such a simple recipe, really, let's keep practising and telling people around us. Be happy :)


seanreilly said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 11:44 AM



Ive been working as a cognitive behavioural therapist for many a year. Presently my main intervention is promoting 'mindfulness' and the art of positive psychology which asists people mainly in becoming grateful for what they have. It would appear alot of people are unhappy but they still enjoy their cappuchinos.

SEAN


eggcup said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 1:00 PM

Continuing the theme of extrinsic factors not making us happy, this is a very relevant philosophical point for this website. When I moved to Spain I must have assumed that it would somehow make me happy and contented; why else would I have done it? I didn't have a clear idea in my mind how that was to be achieved - I just assumed that the sun and the 'better' lifestyle would work this magic on me. I was yearning for a change and this gave me the momentum to plan and execute the move and then to stick it out for a long time, when it obviously wasn't working for me (as is seen in my rather morose blog). Maybe it does for some people, or maybe they're just more contented types anyway. I think it is very true that once you are fed and housed, extrinsic factors don't make you happy. I've found that writing and trying to work out what's going on in my head through that writing has helped me far more than a move to another country in my own quest to find some kind of inner peace - not happiness, which I think is overrated. I'd like to add that you've really got me thinking, Kathyd and I'm enjoying your work immensely.


kathy said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 1:28 PM

thank you for that nice comment eggcup, It makes me happy that people can get something out of what I write. Its ironic that as a society today we probably have much more that the generations before and yet we have the highest rates of depression .
Maybe its because we are led to believe that wealth is somehow associated with being happy and yet how many of us strife to achieve a goal and when we have got there our feelings do not change.
It takes a while for the penny to drop that external factors are not going to change the way we feel about our lives. When I was in Spain I met an English expat lady who kept moving house. It was well known among her friends that after a period of a year or so she would be on the move again and dragging along the long suffering husband.Friends told me that she would be happy for a while and then discontentment would set in. I think that there are many people like this lady ..always searching for happiness and contentment but looking for it in the wrong places!
Mind you I am a great one to talk, I constantly have to do my own self talk to keep myself on track!


Pinkie said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 2:24 PM

I think a lot of people do not remember the simplest, pleasures in live, and we have all become very materialistic.
Ten years ago, before my father died he was very ill for 7 years, and the way I lived my life changed forever and for the best.

Dad lived with me for a year after having his 5th stroke, every morning he got up with a big smile, happy for being alive, happy for being able to walk, happy to be able to feed himself, and read again, and see the light of day.
Anything anyone did for him he tnanked them with a smile he made everyone around him feel special and good about themselves.
It made me very humble, and reminded me every day since , when I open my eyes in the morning to be grateful for that, and for everything, else the day brings good or bad.


Nicechap said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 6:32 PM

I think its all a matter of being content and grateful with what you have and if you are then happiness will follow, there is no point moving to a different house or country as it is not there, it is you , it is there all the time look at what you have get rid of the rubbish in your life and you to will wake up one morning and it will be there


Amanda B said:
Saturday, November 24, 2012 @ 9:30 PM

Just had my first scary experience of being in a house which suddenly filled with flood water. In the dark the sound was eerie, the rapid flow towards myself and my possessions made me feel "why me?" "what now?"
I ran around like a headless chicken pulling electric cables out of sockets fearing electrocution and hurled my precious leather books packed in a box twice my own body weight onto the sofa in the nick of time.
While I dithered helplessly looking at the muddy water rising up my cream sofa, wondering how long would l be in this nightmare, and how to sweep it out over a huge step at the front and back door, an army of smiling neighbours with mops and buckets came breezing through the flowing water at the door and set to work WITHOUT me having to ask for help.
I was so overwhelmed at the willing co-ordinated operation in such good humour that I failed to go into any kind of downer. Because of their "you can't beat us" attitude, my house was emptied of water and stone floors dried within an hour ! No drama. No one making me feel it was the worse case scenario.
30 mins later, a friend phoned to enquire, having sent her photos of the muddied house. She said " you sound so elated, I would be in a terrible state if I had lost possessions, ruined furniture and a bad smell to live with. " My response was :
"All material, think of those in countries who live with babes in arms in waterlogged muddy, unhygienic environments everyday. I will be back to normal and have the option to move house."

It was a feeling of being cared for and supported by strangers, observing people putting themselves out, sharing another's misfortune by getting dirty, and all the good I have done for others has been repaid by people I have never met before.
I actually felt very very grateful and HAPPY
And have done all week.
Because of this upbeat 'emotion' I have had a run of really GOOD luck since.
I was told I was too particular, would never find a home with a long list of comfy "must-haves for my soul" including seeing the sunset every night from a private terrace. After feeling grateful for the help I got, and for small mercies, the right property appeared 5 days later, like MAGIC. Ticked all the boxes and budget.

I definitely agree with what you say Kathyd about gratitude. If I say a thank you prayer, no matter how bleak the times are, very soon something lovely happens unexpectedly.
I smile a lot and people smile back, a big reason I am grateful for living in Spain.
I love the vibrant atmosphere.



Finisterre said:
Friday, November 30, 2012 @ 11:15 PM

What a lovely blog, and what lovely posts it has inspired. Amanda's in particular stands out - your description of seeing your neighbours arrive just as you were on the point of despair almost made me tear up!

I am lucky for many reasons and I try to feel grateful all the time. I completely agree that it makes SO much difference to one's general level of happiness. I always say that I'm glad I moved to Spain, not because I'm ecstatically happy all the time, but because my basic level of contentment is so much higher.


Kathy said:
Sunday, December 2, 2012 @ 5:59 PM

thank you Finisterre for the nice comments.
I actually like writing and so if someone enjoys what i write about then it is an extra bonus!


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