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Nice one Smiley certainly sums Banks up
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Nice one Smiley! That's put a big smile on my face!
And in addition, we the Tax Payer are giving them even more money, to shore up the money that they haven't got!?! 
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www.andalucianstyle.com
Me, the Mrs and Rosie too! But we'll never, ever forget our Tyler!
We support AAA Abandoned Animals Marbella - Do you?
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On a similar vein, can anyone explain to me how the Bank Of England lending money to Iceland, so that Iceland can pay back money it owes to British savers, works?
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"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please"
Mark Twain
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Yeah! Good point Roberto
Why doesn't the Bank of England cough up and pay those affected directly in the UK and then sue the @ss of the Icelandic Goverment?
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www.andalucianstyle.com
Me, the Mrs and Rosie too! But we'll never, ever forget our Tyler!
We support AAA Abandoned Animals Marbella - Do you?
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Here's a thought: I wonder if there's some way all that geothermal energy can be piped across to the UK, so you can enjoy free heating for your homes, by way of an apology for messing up big time and causing so much worry and stress? Maybe everyone should be allowed to go Christmas shopping at Hamleys with a blank cheque. Oh, and free entrance to all West Ham's home games as well. Free Fortnum & Mason hampers for all UK pensioners this Xmas, and free bisciuts for life for all UK citizens. Throw in the cod as well.
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"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please"
Mark Twain
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.....and the Torrevieja store could do a free trolley dash.......
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www.taylorlandandpropertygroup.co.uk
still here after all these years!
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Q - What's the difference between an investment banker and a pizza? A - You can feed a family of four on a pizza!
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Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the
villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50!
However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'
The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
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"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please"
Mark Twain
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Na Smiley!
This monkey is far too smart to play the stock markets and potentially loose all his money!
Instead I have left it with the banks, at a lower interest rate, but it's safe as .... ang on! .... wait a mo! .... erm!
In fact, might as well go to the Casino and put it all on black at the roulette table, as that's as safe a bet as leaving my money with the banks or with 'da players' on the markets!!!!
Hmm! Where's the dog gone to, need him to dig a big hole in the garden, so I can bury me gold coins that I've just bought with all me savings! Arr me heartys!
This message was last edited by TechNoApe on 10/15/2008.
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www.andalucianstyle.com
Me, the Mrs and Rosie too! But we'll never, ever forget our Tyler!
We support AAA Abandoned Animals Marbella - Do you?
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A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?'
'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
I talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside Boots yesterday.
Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander Bank. A Government spokesman said: 'No one expected the Spanish acquisition.'
What's the difference between a merchant bank and Katie Price?
Both are institutions whose reputation is built on assets that, on closer inspection, turn out to be entirely artificial, vastly over-inflated and in danger of going through the floor at any moment. But at least Katie Price is still worth something.
Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
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"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please"
Mark Twain
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“I'd better laugh so I don't cry!”
Mervyn King, Governor of the Bank of England famously said that the rational thing to do when people are withdrawing funds from a bank and causing a run is to do the same.
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 and beyond.
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- What happens the day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for £240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ £240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Risk - - A board game.
“And now the really scary spivery!”
Click on this link and be afraid….very afraid!
www.investorwords.com
Browse by letter. Not for the faint hearted. Some examples for you!
adequacy of coverage
Definition
A measure of how well an asset's value is insulated from loss, such as through hedging or insurance.
bait and switch
Definition
An illegal tactic in which a seller advertises a product with the intention of persuading customers to purchase a more expensive product.
Have a nice day
Philip
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great post could not stop laughing bye irene
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I didn't know there was a branch in Buckingham Palace, does Phil wash up?
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