I'm in the same situation, my husband works four on and four off too, currently in Indonesia. My dad also worked off shore as a deep sea diver for many years! We are moving to Javea in March, which is on the coast between Alicante and Valencia. I think the area you choose is all down to personal preference. We looked at a few areas, working our way down from Murcia, and eventually decided on Javea, it just felt right for us. Our, then five year old, son will go to an International School there and the school has a very active parents group, so we will hopefully get involved with that. It was also important for us to be near an airport, so this will give John the choice of two to fly in and out off.
'We are renting for 11 months, and keeping our house in the UK, to make sure that we really like it before fully committing. I can't see any reason why it wouldn't all work out, but you dont really know until you are staying somewere for a length of time. We did lots and lots of research before we went to look for a house to rent, and were lucky in receiving personal recommendations for lawyer, agents etc. The more information you can gather the better and this site will certainly give you loads. I woldn't worry about the driving, though it might be easier to get used to the roads in the winter, rather than when the "mad" tourists are there!
Hope it all works out for you. Just ask if there is anything you would like to know.. the closer it gets for us the more excited I get! I do have the odd moments of panic but they soon pass, especially when I am out defrosting the car every morning!