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Donna Gee - Spain's Grumpy Old Gran

SHARE THE MOANS AND GROANS OF AN IRRITABLE EXPAT BRITISH JOURNALIST

Why aging expats swap Spain for the rain
Sunday, December 16, 2012 @ 11:11 PM

EVERY DAY'S A

HOLIDAY UNTIL... 

I’VE always been mystified when elderly expats, who clearly love the Spanish life, up sticks and return to the rain and pollution of over-populated Britain.

I know at least half a dozen couples who have turned their backs on the Iberian sunshine, always reluctantly, citing fears of deteriorating health and/or losing their partner.

“Why worry about healthcare?”, I’d ask. “The Spanish system is generally regarded as superior to the NHS in Britain. And as for being on your own, the expat community is awash with widows, widowers and never-weds all in the same boat.’’

I certainly don’t mind being on my own. It’s been fun going solo for the last couple of years and I couldn’t be happier. Apart, that is, from the fact I’m too old to dismiss my ever-growing waistline as a ready-to-drop papoose.

I certainly have more friends in Spain than I ever had in the UK, many of them, like myself, without partners. And I am never lost for something to do on the odd occasion my eyes aren’t glued to a computer screen.

However, during my current visit to spend Christmas with my family in Manchester, I’ve begun to see the idea of repatriation in a different light…or darkness even.

Yes, I am beginning to question how I would manage on my own in Spain if, as I fear, I become wheelchair bound and reliant on the assistance of carers.

Regular readers of my column (if there are any) will know that humour is the weapon I use to fight adversity. I dismiss the intermittent trembling of my left hand by admitting I have Parkinson’s Disease and adding: ‘If the shaking gets any worse, they’re giving me my own chat show.’’

As for my blocked cardiac arteries, I joke about my visits to the stentist, an Irish lady called Angie O’Plasty.

No one wants to hear this, but I have so many health problems that I’ll soon have an entry of my own in the official medical dictionary. I can see it now.

Donnagitis: A multitude of different complaints. A person who craves the invention of oral stental floss. (Give me a break from those damned angioplasties!)

But seriously, my mobility has deteriorated alarmingly this last few months and I know my problems will become progressively worse. Here in Manchester I have an amazing team of carers who are, quite simply, the best.

With two daughters and six grandkids here among the flatcaps and ferrets, I am beginning to ask questions of myself. I already struggle to get up from armchairs and sofas and get out of cars – so I’ve no hope of coping in Spain when I perpetually need winching up. The price of hiring a crane is outrageous as it is.

I never believed I would say this, but I am slowly resigning myself the fact I will one day return to the land of my birth. Still breathing, too..

Returning to the UK sounds so unlikely when I tell you I love every minute of living in Spain.

I live the dream – waking each morning to the accompaniment of bright sunshine and that indescribable atmosphere of ‘foreignness’. Just as I did 30 years ago, when family holidays in Spain were the highlight of my year.

I’d wake on the final morning of our stay and think to myself, ‘Hell, it’s so wonderful here and I’ve got to head back to England and work. I don’t want to go!’

This past couple of years I’ve been waking every morning and bursting (very badly) into song – my favourite being ‘’Every day’s a holiday in my house’’ (to no particular tune). It was going to be my anthem until that weird morning when I wake up dead.

Now I’m beginning to think I’d quite like to spend my final days ferreting for flat caps, if you get my drift (yes, even in the snow).

If I freeze to death, I’ve got to go sometime anyway. But at least my daughters will be there to wrap me up warm, look after me, and earn that inheritance they think I'm going to leave them...

Published in The Courier (www.thecourier.es) December 14, 2012

 



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10 Comments


ElviriaDreamer said:
Sunday, December 16, 2012 @ 11:59 PM

Hi Donna "Far From Grumpy"

I love to read how you're getting on...you're always so cheery about it all and your humour is just brilliant. I know how essential that is to you. I joke about "how I'll get to dance naked in welly boots around my garden and won't even know".

I feel when your falling apart physically, it is so much easier when laced with humour and acceptance that with a terminal neurological illness you will deteriorate instead of getting better...so keep your humour and enjoy every second of every day.

As sad as you will be, if you have to leave Spain, it will be because you know in your body and mind, it is getting to the time when you NEED to be in the UK MORE. You shouldn't feel sad when that time comes though...you should feel happy you had your time there and blessed to return to a loving family and good support network. It will just be the end of one era and the start of another, a little different to what you may of planned.

Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year!




casalinda said:
Monday, December 17, 2012 @ 12:54 AM

Hi Donna
I can empathise a bit with your situation but I've decided to stay put out here in Spain and let my remaining years (with secondary cancer) unfold as the dice falls. Better to totter up the mountain for a last sunset than look at the rain, say I. Perhaps I'll think differently later on and I don't criticise your choice, but it's interesting when life presents these dilemmas!


Kathy said:
Monday, December 17, 2012 @ 10:00 AM

Your article poses some interesting questions Donna
and I am sure alott of soul seraching has to be done to come to a final decision .
We returned in 2012 just after a 2 year stint on the costa del sol. We had previosly lived in S.Africa for 22 years and had been in N.Ireland for 9 years before going to Spain. I We have returned to N.Ireland to get our daughters through thier A levels and afterwhich we will hopefully return to Spain
As I have a condition myself and my daughter is Diabetic I was very aware of the medical services and the bureaucracy that goes with it .
We were assigned a clinic according to where we lived {Ojen} and it was absymal to say the least .I guess the experience for many expats is probably localised with services in some places better then others. For us it was not a good experience. Of course as a family we were not fluent in Sapnish and this effected our experience as well .
We loved Spain and will return but we may have to go down the route of private health care, expensive I know and if hospitalised we all end up in the same place anyway .
My daughter had an episode while we were there and spent the guts of 24 hours lying on a chair with no one explaining to her what was happening .
There were aspects of Spain that I loved but the medical system was not one of them !
I feel you may be making the right decision .Not only will you have a good care system but you will be with your family as well and thats important .

By the way had a good read of the courier ..great stuff !


hazros said:
Saturday, December 22, 2012 @ 10:23 AM

My husband and I have just returned to UK after a fantastic 3.5 years in a lovely white village called Prado del Rey. We made many good friends there although our Spanish was limited and their English was non existent and we will definitely go back for holidays. Our reason for returning was mainly care in old age also the cold in the winter - those houses have no insulation and are really cold. We are enjoying the central heating now and it has not stopped raining in Spain since we left so think we came at the right time. I must say the medical care in our village was wonderful, only problem being the doctor's did not speak much English either.


Jim Reeves said:
Saturday, December 22, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

Hi Donna
Grumpy old gran? I'm sure you are not. You're just telling it as it is.
After reading your article I can empathise with your situation and I do know this is the case for 100s and probably 1000s of expats, which is exactly why we are developing www.suncity50plusclub.com which we hope will go towards resolving this problem in Spain.
We have joined with others in Spain, including a major Spanish company who specialise in the care of the elderly. This includes rehabilitation and recuperation. They have centres across Spain including the Costa Blanca and can provide all care and assistance that may be required.
The other point you raise which I know is very important and necessary is the home care, as my mother has this in the UK, but this is not generally available in Spain. We are also going to address this with our Spanish partners. I know this will take some time but we have to start somewhere.
Our Sun City 50 Plus Club will be the hub for all the information, contacts and help for this. Although the website is live now, we are currently adding content, but it will be officially launched very soon.
Perhaps your readers would like to take a look and maybe join to enable them to follow the progress and use the services the club will be offering.
I will now follow your articles every week in The Courier and hope you continue for much longer and are able to stay in Spain - maybe with our assistance!
Perhaps we can meet when I am next in Spain and I will give you more details of our progress.


caprala said:
Saturday, December 22, 2012 @ 1:22 PM

We have pondered the question of going back now that we are getting on. I was diagnosed with Cancer last Christmas and my husband said 'what will I do on my own'. So we put the house up for sale, sold it then looked at house prices in England, decided they were too expensive so here we still are. I am now in remission and bought a house by the Coast, as it has more services and they are easier to sell if the inevitable happens to either one of us. We do not expect the children to take care of us as they wouldn't or couldn't. Also, couldn't face dismal mornings and the cold.


Vickya said:
Saturday, December 22, 2012 @ 1:58 PM

I was out there for 2 years from 2007. The crash came in 2008, my pension wasn't as good and although I could work a little, teaching, post retirement my companion could no longer fix computers for Brits as many had gone home. I missed my 2 year old grandson too.

Just after we got back I was diagnosed with breast cancer and got very good care. I was glad I was in the UK for it as my Spanish was not good enough for detailed conversations. My companion got very ill too and was not able to work at all. The diagnosis and treatment were done by Addenbrookes, the hospital we luckily moved near to.

I get to see my grandson often now. I collect him after school a couple of times a week, which my daughter needs as she works. The weather is not as good as it was in Southern Spain, but the houses are better equipped for the cold spells. I am glad we moved back.

I


Valerie White said:
Sunday, December 23, 2012 @ 10:30 AM

Hi Donna. I moved over to Spain, in a lovely village called Melegis in Lecrin del Valle near Granada. I don't speak much Spanish and don't have transport either so getting about isn't easy - buses through my village are very infrequent. However, friends of mine from England moved over here about 5 years ago and live a few villages away from me and they are very good about running me to the supermarket when they go. I can't speak for the Spanish medical system as, thus far, I haven't even registered with a doctor. Fortunately at the moment I am in good health and have enjoyed my 16 months here in Spain. I do find mostly the people here are very friendly and my landlord and landlady are very helpful - she looks after my animals during my occasional visits back to the UK. I don't think that I would like to be here when I die though so when my 5 years' rental is up I will probably think about going back to the UK as I will then be 72, if I survive that long! Luckily I am still able to do fairly long walks with my dogs but they both have passports so will be able to go back to the UK with me should I decide to go. You obviously have a very good sense of humour - essential I think. Good luck to you. I hope you have a really good Christmas and a lovely 2013 (hope your health doesn't deteriorate too much either!). Val xx


Donna Gee said:
Sunday, December 23, 2012 @ 7:44 PM

Thanks for these very interesting comments, which show just how much our individual situations affect our decisions. I would very much like to publish some of the comments on the The Courier letters page. If anyone has any objection please email me at donna@thecourier.es
The best advice I can give to anyone with health problems is to try to keep your sense of humour. I honestly believe that the more you laugh, the easier it is to handle illness. Take a look at
http://grumpyoldgran.com/2011/01/19/parkinsons-disease-now-ive-got-even-more-to-laugh-about/




Richard Gordon said:
Monday, December 24, 2012 @ 4:08 PM

Very interesting article. I guess mortality is our greatest challenge.


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