I have just found in Internet some spanish anecdotes, that they say those are real cases. I hope that you enjoy a while and also you can learn our language on street.
These are the best for me:
One day, a doctor treated a man, who had a medical condition. He went with his wife to the query; she, who was from Galice, explained to the doctor all of her husband´s medical conditions. The doctor considered to the husband and extended a recipe, that put something like: "Drug ............: one pill per day with 2 or 3 cookies ".
As the medicine was very strong, the doctor told her to take it with two or three biscuits, that do not affect much to stomach. It had not even spent 24 hours and the lady was already phoning. This was what she said to the doctor: "My husband holds up to 45 cookies, but from there it is not fall, no way, doctor". Obviously, the doctor should have accented the letter 'o' in his recipe, to avoid misunderstandings, because the lady spent much money to buy several boxes of cookies and insisted on administering 203 cookies to her husband……....Incredible!.
Now I am going to show you some ways to speak in Andalussia and concretely in Cadiz, where you can find a lot of joke. These words are so funny!. Pay attention!.
In Cadiz (here named “Cai”), southern Spain, you can hear talking about “chopped pork” as “soperpó” and even “chopin” –like the famous composer--. And, someone could read, on a shop: “Soper”. It happens something similar that the “corned beef” is named “carneconbí”.
I do not know if you have been in Spain and if you have seen the list of food from a bar….Here I bring you the case of the bar “El caballo negro” (“The black horse”) in Fuengirola (Málaga). There you can read the following list of plates:
--Planshita (it means: a plate of chicken breasts and little pork fillets on a grill).
--Entrecol a la pimienta (it means: “Entrecot a la pimienta” = Sirloin pepper.
--Esgalope de ternera = Escalope de ternera = escalope of veal.
--Sanwchis, changuis, sanguis = sándwich.
--Caramales = calamares = squids.
Another funny thing is that we name, to the “Kleenex”, “Clines” and then, one of them is “a clin”. So, you can say: One clin, 2 clines, 3 clines……..It is funny, is not it?.
Other funny case is which happened in Estepona (Málaga). It is said that a woman went to a shop to pick something up. When she asked what she picked up, she answered that she had to pick up “las zapatillas de la Ignacia”. Of course, when she arrived to the shop, they did not know what she had to pick up and, after some hours thinking about it, they discovered that she needed “Las zapatillas de la gymnasia” (the gym shoes). Incredible!.
Now, I want to tell you about something that happens in Spanish. In English, when you want to say one negation, you say, for example: “He told me nothing” or “He did not tell me anything”. But, in Spanish we should say: “Él no me ha dicho nada” –what literally should be: “He did not tell me nothing”. So, we use two negative parts in the same sentence--. I tell you this case, because I have found, in Internet, an anecdote, that says that two friends were discussing about a matter and, suddenly, one of the friends said: “¡Eso no es casi incomún!” (“That is not almost uncommon”). Then, the other friend told this one: “What a sentence you have invented….., it is a triple denial and, moreover, uncommon word does not exist”; but this friend answered: “How uncommon does not exist……?, well, tell me: What is impossible?”, and the otrer friend answered: “What is not possible”. Then, this friend said with a large smile: “That is right…If Impossible is what is not possible, then Uncommon is what is not common!”.
In La Linea de la Concepción (besides Gibraltar) is typical to ask for a “capotín” (what in Gibraltar is a “cup of tea”).
I thought –and I think that you too— that the unit of measure was the meter; but…now I think I was in a mistake, because in a village of Spain, the unit of measure is “El papelón” (a big paper). Then, you arrive to the shop and say: “Un papelón monyó” and it means that the lady has to start to cut cooked ham and, when you think that it is enough “monyó” (ham from York), you ask the lady to stop of cutting ham.
Well. Many other Spanish anecdotes there are; I will tell you them another day.
I hope that you have enjoyed with these anecdotes.
Till soon, kind regards,
Luis.
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