Almost everyone will agree that they want to be happy. And most people want to be seen as successful. Much as we may know that the two states are different, we tend to think and act as if they are interdependent. The logic goes that more success will bring more money, increased freedom, greater self worth, and therefore more happiness. Which is perhaps why we are shocked when someone who is wealthy and famous takes their own life.
But the reality is that success and happiness are not only different states, but the single-minded pursuit of either one can prevent the attainment of the other.
When the Siren Calls
Take my recent novel as a case in point; When the Siren Calls is populated with wealthy and successful people, and has been described as a satire of the life-style of the jet-set. Infidelity in the story is ubiquitous, with rich and powerful men who are mostly predatory adulterers, and pampered and beautiful woman who are expert at using their sexuality to manipulate the men. But few who have read the book would describe any of the main characters as “happy;” in fact the story centres around the restless protagonist Isobel, and her yearning for the excitement and romance that she believes will bring her happiness.
Isobel certainly pursues her desires with reckless abandon, and seems to achieve her external goals of sexual liberation and a passionate love affair, but happiness eludes her; some might say she is more unhappy at the end of the story than she was at the beginning. Why is this?
The key is contained in the word ‘achieve’. Success is all about ‘achievement’, whereas happiness is about relationships. You simply cannot be happy without a fulfilling relationship in your life, even if it’s only with your pet labrador. The most outwardly successful character in When the Siren Calls is Isobel’s husband Peter, a workaholic who has pursued professional achievement above all else and neglected a beautiful wife in the process.
So the message is for those of us who want both success and happiness, those of us who would not be content to live a carefree life in a hammock on some exotic island devoid of material comforts, is that we have to find the balance between goal orientated achievement, and nurturing the relationships that are most important in our life. Unfortunately, like Peter, this is a lesson many of us learn the hard way. But it is never too late in life to do the right thing, which is why When the Siren Calls is simply book one of the trilogy :)