Your chosen weapon of defence?

Hi,

So what would your chosen weapon of defence be?

I ask because for the first time in 7 years of owning the place and 4 years of living here, I'm on my own tonight.       

Our finca is 3k outside of the village and 1/2 a k off the road, down a dirt track. Apart from our homicidal maniac of a cat (ok, so she only attacks small four legged things and flying things) and our neurotic labrador who barks at his own shadow and birds in trees, so is not very reiable as a guard dog. I'm on my own.

With this in mind, I'm sitting here thinking, "what would be a good thing to have under my pillow in bed?"

I've thought about one of my, very sharp, 'sabatier' knives. But I think I'm as likely to do my-self harm with that! I also don't think I could plunge that into living flesh. A bit of liver, the sunday roast, not a problem. But living flesh??? I think not.

I've settled on my rolling pin. It won't do me any harm under my pillow, unless I bump my head on it. And I sure as hell could give an intruder to good bashing!

Take care, Febe                              

Febe

I think a barking dog would be as good as anything for frightening off any would be intruder.

We had a dog who never barked at anything except balloons!  He never barked if anyone knocked on the door, but when some one tried to break into our garage he barked his head off, and they ran away.

So sleep sound, but if you want to keep anything by the bed - some thing longer  - maybe a golf club - don't want to get that close to hit them!!

Hi Febe

My personal favourite is my son's toy pistol, it is amazing how real childrens toys look nowadays...

I have to agree with you on using your Sabatier knife, great knife and such a shame to ruin it with bloodstains, and if you are anything like me, the thought of plunging it into somebody makes me feel quite queasy and I would probably miss as I would have my eyes closed at the time!

So I will be thinking of you when I go to bed tonight and hoping that, god forbid you hear a noise in the night, you don't knock yourself out, trying to get your rollingpin out from under your pillow!

Sleep well, Sam

 Hi Febe

I would suggest a tazer or mace because if you are lying in bed, you will not have the time or the room to swing a rolling pin with any effective force. Do not put it under your pillow as that will waste precious seconds to get it out. Have it on the floor where your arm can just drop out of the bed and be on it or easy to hand on your bedside table. I would suggest practising grabbing it because the biggest problem you will have is sorting your fight or flight reaction.  This is important, you can can learn all the self-defence moves, have all the gadgets but it will mean nothing if you freeze like a deer in headlights. If you continue practising something, it becomes second nature and you will do it before your brain gets to the fight or flight issue.

The other option is to have a security gate inside your house that blocks off the bedrooms from the rest of the house. What I mean is that if somebody breaks in through a back-door or front-door or sliding door, they will only have access to the living areas and not the bedrooms. They would have to make allot of noise getting through the security door which will give you enough time to wake up and do whatever. 

Thanks you two,

You've made me laugh.

If I don't add any thing to this thread in the morning, please send the police out.

Tell them to look for a mad women with a rolling pin sized bump on her head!

Take care, Febe

Neatrees,

You've just put the fear of God up me, tell me that was a joke post, Please!

You posted whie I was replying to Peter and Sam

Best weapon you can use is a swift kick in the nuts. Works every time.

My OH keeps a hammer just inside the wardrobe. It's ever since we thought we had intruders around 2am one New Year's morning. We had returned from a do with friends & gone to bed though when my husband thought he'd turned the alarm off so we could enter it mustn't have disarmed it as we heard it start up & my OH pressed the remote more firmly.

Now Securitas Direct have our phone number here in Spain & in the UK & our friends number near us too. They are meant to first try contacting us via the box on our bedroom wall & if they can't contact us then they contact our friends.

Off we started to drift to sleep then I heard a noise downstairs & mens voices OH SH*T! My OH went to the top of the stairs & saw lights were on downstairs. 'Who's there?' he shouted (feebly). A man's voice shouted back 'it's Richard!'. Securitas Alarms hadn't bothered trying to contact us who could've told them we were secure, my hubby obviously hadn't pressed the alarm remote hard enough so the alarm had been activated. They'd called our keyholder out & poor Richard was as shit scared as we were, thinking he would need to tackle intruders in our bedroom. Were we happy to see each other??

Febe, hope you're ok, let us know.

 I think it might be better to keep nothing under the pillow of by your bed. The intruder could overpower you and use you defensive weapon on you! Far better to install an alarm and that should deter the intruder to go elsewhere. Kevin

Hi,

I made it through the night!

Our son is home from his school trip this aftrenoon and hubby should be back from UK tomorrow.

More,  That sounded very alarming.

Take care All.

Febe

Febe,

Eat a tin of baked beans before you go to bed.

That way, during the night, any would be intruder would be unable to approach you as you sleep, due to the invisible wall of offensive, olfactory emanations!

Also, depending on the equation - ratio of quantity ingested to frequency and magnitude - then due to excessive such emanations, the intruder could also find themselves unable to see and/or breath, and could possibly be rendered unconscious!

So, best thing is to get a sign put up outside your house, saying:

"Warning: House protected by Natural Gas Hazard!"

and also add a warning sign:

And, just to make sure you follow EU regulations concerning ingestion of Baked Beans, you must also show this warning sign:

And it must be visible on all approaches to your property!