Bereaved?

I thought about starting this thread, then thought it might not be appropiate to EOS

But wherever we are, UK or Spain, we all suffer this.

Justin, please delete this if you think it is inappropriate.

I feel so very sad tonight and thought that the only outlet I had was EOS

For some reason I feel I can speak here and hope my friends will respond,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I lost my Dad and my Son in Law within 24 hrs

For some reason tonight I feel lost.............

They died in Oct 2005 but it seems like yesterday...............

I have been supporting my Mum daily, she is 85 and I need "me" time now.

I miss my Dad badly. but where do I fit in?

I won't go on here, as I said, It may not be appropriate for EOS, but I feel so good just to have typed this!

So, thanks peeps.................just needed to tell my "friends"

Kind regards,

 

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Hi Fibby

Now that you've typed out your thoughts, I hope you feel better.  It is so  sad to have lost two family together.  My father passed away , just before Christmas, 8 days away from his 90th birthday.  Mine is only recent, but like you, I am sure I will feel it for many years to come. 

Don't feel sad - you know you have many, many friends on EOS.  I'm usually just a watcher, taking a keen interest on what goes on, but a bit shy as a contributer.

Hope today is a better day for you xxx

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Don't feel sad Fibby,

It's good to let it out sometimes and not bottle it in. How about this to cheer you up. I'm off to the gym in a minute but will be back later. This is what I will be doing this morning........................ 

   Don't tell me that didn't make you smile  . Hope you feel better today.

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Thank you both. Your replies mean a lot to me.

I woke up this morning thinking I shouldn't have started such a depressing thread, felt silly actually.

Candyfloss, yes that little clip has made me smile!

Hope it doesn't happen to you though!

In a better mood today, life goes on eh?

Off to see my Daughter, Grandson, two dogs, one a boisterous puppy, two cats, one heavily pregnant, the cat that is, so today will be rather hectic but happy!

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Hope you're feeling better Fibby

That must have been so hard for you and your family losing 2 people so close together. 

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Fibby,

I understand exactly what you are going through and thinking of you.

My dad died way back in 1971 aged only 55 years and my mum in 1991 aged 73 but it is seems like only yesterday they both went.  Now I am head of the family being the elder sister!!!

I find great comfort in going to the cemetery where they were both cremated and taking flowers not only for them but also numerous other relatives including my grandmother on my mum's side of the family, and friends as well who are up there.

I don't drive so have to travel on the London Underground (an experience in itself at my age).

Regards,

Impey

PS Will pm you shortly

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Fibby, don't feel lost!!  My mother died 34 years ago this year, when she was just 37, a week before my 14th birthday.  There are times to this day that I wish I could just talk to her or have her near, and wish every day that she were here for my son.  We always accept the loss of someone close, but never get over it.  Gosh, I have tears in my eyes just writing this!!!!  What a numpty!!

I think there are many of us who understand how you feel and are glad that you felt a release somehow just writing what you did.

Hope you enjoyed your day with your family!  And the animals!!!

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Thank you to the new posters, you have brightened my mood greatly.

Had a nice few hectic hours at my Daughter.s

Ben did me some nice paintings with glitter on for my computer room wall.

It's the best way to decorate it with the Granchildren's pictures, as the old git indoors has forgotten what a paint pot looks like!

Kind regards, as always.......................

xx

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Fibby,

 I'm pleased you found comfort in writing down your feelings. It's a good way of coping with feelings of grief and also with feelings of anger. I do it all the time, you can really let rip with your feelings and not hurt or upset anyone.

Take heart from all the lovely messages and know that  you are not lost or alone.

Best Regards,

S.

p.s.Has the cat had the kittens?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aw thanks Sandra...............there are some lovely people on EOS.

Cat not dropped yet,, she is HUGE!!!!!

I will let you know when they arrive!!!!

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Please can we have pics of the kittens when they arrive?? You know I can't have a cat in an apartment but I do love them.

Cheer up chicken!!

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My first husband (Nigel) died in a house fire 11 years ago.
Although we were not living together at the time, we were still married.
I had to tell our daughters (then aged 9 and 11) that their father had died. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and it still plays on my mind.
The mixed feelings of grief, anger, lose, regret are still there, but have been diluted as time goes by.
Not a day passes that I don't thank God that the girls were not at the house (our marital home) when the fire started. They should have been. It was Nigel's weekend to have them.
I look at my lovely girls and remember the good times we had.
I remember the fun and laughter.
It gets me through the 'dark nights', the ones I don't tell Chris about. (Chris is my loving, caring, very fantastic husband)
It's made me cry just typing this out now.
So many memories.
Thank you Fibby, I needed to let that out.
Fx

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Some really sad stories and I think it does help to share.   Mine is not so dramatic.

I lost my mother in December 1994.  The first day of our holiday in Grenada (Caribbean) where we had gone as our only daughter was getting married the following week my father in the UK rang me at 6:00am to tell me my mother had died (about 5 hours earlier).  He suggested that the funeral was delayed until we returned two weeks later after the wedding.  There followed a very surreal 2 weeks.  Guilt and sadness whilst trying to be happy for our daughter.

My husband and I therefore attended the funeral with deep Caribbean tans in the middle of December.  (My mum would have seen the funny side of it - I hope). My daughter and son in law returned to the UK a few days later and we all had to attend a party they'd arranged for the inlaw family and friends, as they'd got married abroad. Thank goodness for little black dresses!

My mother doesn't have a grave as we're not really into that but I refuse to get rid of lots of her things - ornaments, jewellery. I even use her hair brush. We used to live over 100 miles apart so were not physically close but I still shed a tear from time to time and had a good old blub when a colleague lost her father recently.

My husband lost his mother during a time when he was estranged from his family and has never forgiven himself. He didn't find out for several years. He has made his peace with his family and takes comfort in visiting her grave when he has the opportunity (not in UK). He now frets over his father and every little illness although I think he's as strong as an ox and will probably outlive us as we have the more stressful life.

Both our parents have remarried and that is something that we also found very difficult.

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KarenSun, of course I will post pics of the kits when they arrive.

Mum is a tortie, gawd knows who Dad is, so they could be interesting!

And thanks, I have cheered up...squark, squark!

On a more serious note:

Febe, it helped me to type the original post on this thread and I have felt better since doing so.

Your story is very very tragic, I can't begin to imagine how it's been for you and your children.

They say time heals, but I believe the stitches come lose sometimes and tears seep through.

Be strong.....................

Sonia El, you know, reading your post made me realise that I was right to force my husband to re-visit his Mum after a 13 yr estrangement. She is 75 now and healthy, but things could have been different.............

I can understand you keeping your Mum's personal things, I will too when my time comes.

I hope it has helped to be able to post on here, it has helped me.

Now I shall tell you all:             I was a bereavement counsellor and an Advocate for children in care, a few years ago, but here I was at the weekend asking for an ear myself! It just goes to prove that we aren't all perfect all of the time!

I hope in starting this thread, I have helped others.

Thank you for letting this one run Justin...............................

If ever anyone needs to PM me, I am happy to respond further.........................

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Stop press!!

Latest news...................the cat has had three kittens so far, in my Daughter's wardrobe!

Watch out for the update in the morning!

Meeow...............

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Latest news!

5 kittens arrived safely, various colours, all healthy!

Off to see them in a mo, how soft and soppy am I??!!

 

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No doubt this will upset a few members as the latest EOS thread, strangely enough, is about "our Pets" and concentrates on animal neutering. "Edited, Female cats are spayed, not neutered"

Mmmmm wonder why that is?

Mummy cat is already booked into the local vets for neutering in 3 weeks time, which was booked with the vet prior to her birthing.

This message was last edited by FibbyUK on 2/19/2008.

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The kittens are really lovely........how I wish.....!!!!!!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fibby they're lovely and what an assortment of colours!!

I'd just have to keep them all.

I've not had a cat since I was a child because my husband doesn't like

them but we've had three dogs. Ben our last one, a weimaraner, died in May after twelve

wonderful years with us. We were both heartbroken and miss him dearly.

My husband says, "there'll be no more because they don't live long enough and it's almost unbearable when they

die." 

 I feel the same.

 

 

 

 

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