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Highway Code (Advanced Drivers Only)
Turning Right
When turning right it is important NOT to indicate right. This has the effect of slowing traffic behind you, and also reduces the amount of traffic joining the main carriageway, there by making the main carriageway safer for other divers. At all other times you may leave you right indicator on. You then have the legal right to look dumbfounded at the driver who has just pulled out in front of you, and you also have the legal right to make rude suggestive signs at the offending driver.
Eye sight
It is important you do not wear your glasses at any time, as these could be hazardous in the event of an accident. To compensate, you must sit as far forward as you can avoiding any hazy blob that appears in front of you. On narrow county lanes, drive in the center of the lane. Should you see a hazy blob getting bigger, continue on until the hazy blob has stopped moving, and when it comes into focus (usually about 3 feet away), simply drive round it.
Parking
Usually it is necessary to park as close to the pavement as possible, however, advanced drivers, can park anywhere between the white line and pavement at any angle and does not require any signalling. Other drivers will instantly know you are advanced, and will courteously drive around you.
Knocks & bumps
Should your family mention you have a new dent, it is compulsory to say it happened in the car park while you were in the shop
Breakdown
Should you break down on the highway, pull over to the side of the carriageway. Ensure your car is secure, and walk to the nearest garage. On returning to your car with the mechanic, it is compulsory to purchase 4 wheels, doors and new engine, as these will have been stolen by the time you get back.