Old Fool

Hi,

I'm not exactly new... I joined as VickyT and something else which I can't recall, and I forgot my username and password and couldn't get back on. What do you expect from an old fool? This time I've made a note of everything!

I nagged my husband into moving to Spain in 2004 and we ended up living in a teeny, tiny remote mountain village in Andalucia. We're the only foreigners and the village shrinks to 8 inhabitants in winter (including us).

We love it, and life here inspired my book, due to be released this Autumn. It was awarded the Harper Collins Authonomy 'Gold Star' and I can't wait to see it in print!

I really enjoy forums as it gives me a chance to chat in English. 

Looking forward to meeting everybody,

Victoria

Hello

Can you tell us the name of the villageand the title of the book Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase. Not fair mentioning and then leaving us in suspense. Or was it too get some nosey person to respond :-)  And is the book out yet??

Regards

Denis and Flo

Hello Denis and Flo,

Your message really made me laugh! 

Dear me, no, I can't tell you the name of the village. It's Top Secret to protect the poor people and animals I've written about, and if I mention it, all copies of my book would self-destruct.  But please rest assured no villager was harmed during the telling of the story.

The title of the book is 'Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools' and the wretched thing still hasn't been released yet. (If you fancy winning a free copy, go to my website- google my name or book title.) Thanks for asking.

Hope the weather is as good in Cyprus as it is here in Spain at the moment. It's still so hot that our poor old chickens have gone on strike completely. Too hot to be bothered to lay a sausage, let alone an egg.

Victoria :)

Dear Denis and Flo,

Luckily, none of the villagers speak English, and they don’t know about the book.When they catch me writing they look at me askance. Why waste time writing when you could be tending the vines, or arguing about football, or cooking a paella? They have a point…

Do not fret, the chickens are most definitely free range. Not only can they dust-bathe at leisure, but they have their own water-feature. They have individual laying boxes - although they choose to all queue up to use the same one. They even have a large shiny mirror to admire themselves. Well, if budgies like mirrors, why shouldn't chickens? Their walls are stencilled with a very tasteful orange tree design. (When the villagers saw the chicken area they just shook their heads in disbelief.) Atilla the Hen presides and keeps her sisters in order. So all is well on the chicken front. But they’re still refusing to lay at the moment, which I can only describe as ingratitude.

I’ll give your regards to Joe when he comes back from scrumping figs.

Hope you win a copy ☺

Victoria

Hello Victoria and Joe,

It is noted that you are not going to divulge the name of the village, to all your EoS readers, and one can only surmise that you wish too keep it secret as you are the English Lords of the Manor and wish to keep us peasants out. But our day will come madam author, we, the chickens and the donkey will rise up, and we shall have our way :-)

By the way the title of your book - Mentions a donkey as well as the chickens and two old etc - where does the donkey come into the tale? and is he/she still living the good life?

Regards for now

Flo and Denis

 Dear Flo and Denis,

Thank you for requesting the Newsletter, it must have winged its way through cyberspace to Cyprus by now.

Lord and Lady of the manor? What a delicious thought. No, even after 5 years, we’re still The English. The villagers are totally baffled by us. They can’t understand why we don’t eat our chickens. They can’t believe we go to bed at midnight. And computers? New-fangled gadgets, what is the point of them?

Alas, there are no donkeys in the book, or village, just mules. Uncle Felix’s mule is very well, thank you. She has a starring role in the book and still adores her master and happily shares his 2 room cottage. And we have a new mule in the village now, belonging to football-crazy Geronimo. This mule is a youngster and has love on his mind, as you will see in the Newsletter.

But you are right, we adore the village and wouldn’t want it invaded by peasants, royalty or aliens of any sort. Joe and I have been to Cyprus and liked it very much, are you enjoying life there?

Finally, do tell me, what is Flo short for?

1) Florence

2) Flotation Device

3) Flokati (a Greek woven rug with a thick loose pile)

I do hope it’s number 3   :)

Victoria

hi Victoria and Dennis and Flo, surely you would both be better off doing pms to one another instead of using the forum to promote your  book.

 Hello Kathy,

I went hot and cold when I read your post. I’m deeply sorry that you think that this conversation was promotion. I just introduced myself as the forum suggests you do. I didn't even give a link to my website.

I’ve never met Denis and Flo, although they sound like really nice people. It was just a conversation that turned into a really fun bit of banter. My apologies if it offended you.

Victoria

Victoria

In my opinion you have nothing to apologise for & I am sure that your posts would have been edited if Justin had considered them to be inappropriate.

I have quite enjoyed the light hearted banter between you, Denis & Flo. It has certainly been considerably lighter than a lot of the threads (or one in particular!) on here lately.

Your exchanges have given an insight into what sounds like a terrific place to live, even with all it's quirks!

Good luck with your book.

Noreen

1962, Kathy,

What a small minded post!

Victoria, I too have enjoyed the banter between you and Flo & Dennis, and I know you have nothing to apologise for!!!

Kathy, if you don't want to read the posts then don't!

Kathy,

If anyone appeared to be promoting Victorias book it was I and for that I do humbly apologise. I hope you will forgive another "Old Fool" ?? :-) 

Joe, Victoria,

Flo, short for Florence, or She Who Must Be Obeyed, and certainly not Flokati (a Greek woven rug with a thick loose pile). I most certainly would not call her that. Well not if she was within hearing range. We also liked the one about the flotation device, as she cannot swim due too a lead bottom taking her down every time :-) Sound like a submarine!!

We did not imagine for a second, let alone a minute that there might be others reading what we have wrote and goodness! We do now rather feel like authors ourselves, not much money in it though so shall remain retired and resting.

One can see why Aphrodite was Cypriot, the people and the place are lovely. Will be sorry to leave in a way but family 1st and foremost and as Mother is 82 she doesn't mind taking a bus or her car  on holiday but a 12/14 hours plane ride is getting a bit much she thinks. She has also decided that as we are closer to UK she wont have to spend as much of our inheritance coming for a holiday in the sun.

To all of you who have read what is written, and have wrote yourselves, we have enjoyed your writing, and should others wish to write, what is written will be read with gusto.

Denis and Flo are happy to be part of such a community that may not agree with all that is written but are nice after the fact. :-))

Regards

Flo and Denis

Hi victoria flo and dennis,

keep up the lovely banter, it is most

enjoyable reading.

if kathy is so small and petty minded

she should  just  stay off the website.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Victoria,

You certainly do not have to apologise to me, I never expected you to, I was just expressing an opinion,  and it seemed to me that you were using the site to advertise your book and you have used it as your post ID caption.  As for the other people who criticised I am neither small or petty minded, and you must remember that publicity good or bad will now boost Victoria's book sales, I only hope if it does that Justin gets a cut of the profits for the free advertising.

 Hello Denis and Flo,

It’s been a long time since we chatted. My fault - perhaps I am over-sensitive.

I’m very concerned about Flo’s lead bottom, and would suggest a visit to the specialist at your earliest convenience. Medicine has come along in leaps and bounds, and an expert on the malady should be able to clear up the problem with just a few suppositories.

Please send my regards to your mother. 82 is very young. In our village the shopkeeper is in her nineties and fitter than we are. 

Victoria

Hi Joe and Victoria,

What a week we have had!!!  On this laptop from morning till night, well, not "on it" exactly but you know what we mean? Hopefully we have found a very nice long term rental in Moraira which is part of a large villa owned by two very nice Irish chaps and after we spend some time with our Son we will move there for a year or so, or perhaps even longer, depending on what our Floss decides. Apparently the neighbours are a mix of Spanish and Not Spanish and both Spanish and English is spoken with everybody teaching everybody else. Sounds very nice and friendly.

We have also been looking at lots of car adds and they are certainly a lot cheaper than here in NC and I would hazard a guess and say probably better condition. Still we shall sort all that out after we arrive.

Had a few days of electrical storms here in Cyprus, having one at the moment, and you should have seen the pair of us when the temp got down a bit, back into jeans, shirt/top, socks on feet etc. How are we going too manage in Spain?? It gets down to silly temperatures at night, so we believe, and we will probably just have to snuggle up in bed with a hot water bottle or two.

Storm is now overhead and the internet has packed up and we are off to close windows, doors, and to get long trousers and socks on to provide a bit of heat. Back, and would you believe we have a hail storm, in Cyprus, in September. What is happening too the weather?? and probably in a few minutes the sun will be back out. Shining on the rightous as they say, often wonder who "they" are. Don't you? Does this happen in Spain

We shall give Mother your regards when we phone her. She is looking forward to us living in Spain and no doubt will be over for a holiday at the first opportunity and Flo will have to throw her out after a few weeks. She might be 82 but she is no frail old lady and after a couple of weeks she wants to get back to walking the dogs. Not hers but dogs belonging to people less than half her age. Throws them in the car and off up to Salisbury Plain for the odd hour or so.

Anyway still waiting on you know what appearing and as your newsletter say's "this side of Christmas" hopefully. Or does anyone know anything different???

Hope you are both keeping well and the animals are in the finest of health. Have the chickens started laying again or are they still on strike? Hope they are getting their mash and cod liver oil and the crushed eggshells for calcium. Keeps you the chickens regular for laying they say. "They" again.

Is the lovelorn mule still after the love of his life? shouldn't keep a good chap down even if he is a mule and in love!

Think thats all for now. Wonderful to hear from you all again and roll on Spain in just over a week.

Kind Regards

Flo and Denis

 Hello Denis and Flo,

Well, what busy people you are! Sounds like your laptop is permanently red-hot. Looks like you are all set up in Moraira - where is that, by the way?

You are right about the weather changing. We’ve had rivers gushing down our street in the past few days. And we’ve started eyeing the woodpile which definitely needs replenishing before winter sets in. Difficult to even think about logs when the temps are in the 40s and 50s but we were snowed in during our first winter here which should teach us a lesson.

I haven’t heard the mule singing for a couple of days. He’s either lost interest or perhaps he’s playing hard to get. The chickens are fine, but still on strike. Am looking for recipes for Eggless Scrambled Eggs, Eggfree Omelette, NoEgg Scotch Eggs, etc. Any suggestions welcomed.

Which reminds me - does anyone have any recipes or suggestions on what to do with several million almonds? We’ve been given so many all our cupboards are full. Unfortunately, the chickens don’t like them. 

Victoria and Joe

PS Good luck with the move.

PPS No news on CM&2OF release date. ☹

Morning Victoria

Morning Joe

Morning all our readers

Here are some almond recipes  http://www.pastrywiz.com/archive/category/almonds.htm  and if the chickens are not laying here are some recipes that will sort the problem  http://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=navclient&hl=en-GB&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4SKPB_en&q=chicken+and+almond+recipes  only joking about the second link honest.

Moraira is a lovely place, no highrise we believe, and it still retains its old world charm. It is situated between Calpe and Javea on the coast and this is the link to all the info  http://www.everythingmoraira.com/  . Definitely not as quiet and tranquil? as where you are but a lovely place none the less.

You seem to have the same need for stockpiling logs for the winter as here in North Cyprus, but not too many trees here to be able to go out and cut yourself. Should it not be last years logs that are now dried out enough to burn properly this year? A lot of the wood burnt here is olive which can be got from the forestry people but only at a certain time and a certain amount and providing you have a log burning fire it can be used, or they are now supplying compressed sawdust briquets which are very good with less mess and more heat we are told!

Do mules "sing" Victoria?? Never realised that! but mind you we have not had a lot to do with mules but horses and donkeys we know what they do and chickens, and we are now learning what chickens don't do!

Not long to go now until we are in Spain and another adventure starts, so what ends you may ask? Well the latest chapter in our life, but the friends we have made, from the garage man who not only dispenses petrol but advice about the weather and about the younger generation, all in English and trying to speak Turkish to him is a complete waste of time, and other Expats who really love this place and can't understand why we are leaving. Still, new adventures are to be found.

Isn't it wonderfull when the people you meet in everyday life are all different. You must have a get up and go attitude to leave a safe warm nest, your home country !?!?!? and travel and certainly you meet much more interesting people. We cannot think of anything worse than being your age! I am 21 going on 62 and Flo is just a spring chicken ( No pun intended Victoria).

Ok better go now as we have another missive to send to Ireland as the chaps who own the place in Moraira have gone for a short breakand we like to keep in touch.

Speak again soon and keep the mule singing

Flo and Denis

Hello F & D,

I stopped reading the almond recipe when I got to the bit about ‘remove bones and skin from the chicken’. The very thought! I mean, which chicken would we choose, and what would we tell the others? I think the rest of the flock would need counselling if  we ate one. 

Our firewood problem was solved today. The Log Man came without warning and dumped a huge stack in the street. It cost 250 euros, all my nails are broken, our backs ache, Joe fell off the lorry and was bitten by a Yorkshire terrier (all true!) but it was worth it to fill the woodshed.

As for the delicate matter of age, Joe is about 45 years older than the Log Man’s assistant, a factor which contributed greatly to him falling off the lorry. 

I do hope the move is going well, and that your mother is still happily gallivanting over Salisbury Plain with her borrowed dogs.

Victoria

Hello Victoria

Hello Joe

We hope you are all right after falling off that log wagon Joe and how did you manage to scare the Yorkshire Terrier so much that it bit you..........poor little dog! and what possessed you to go shifting logs about, that is what Manuel Labour is for. Joe, I've got to say but you did not seem to get a lot of sympathy from Victoria or did she get you a nice drink of something refreshing after all that falling about. You really must start taking better care of him Victoria!! But we are delighted that your log problem is solved...........just the chickens to sort out now.

Well it is now less than a week until we arrive in Spain and we are both so excited, just like a pair of schoolkids going on holiday, but hey if we can't enjoy ourselves and sometimes not act our age it would be so depressing. It has been a few years since our last holiday in Spain and we hope it hasn't changed too much. At least Benidorm should be a bit quieter after all the holiday makers have gone home?

I wasn't going to mention it but as Joe had a bit of an accident I may as well tell you I had a small accident as well. Flo was lifting the table on the patio and one of the legs fell off and she shouted at me to put it back in place while she held the table. Needless to say, and being the gentleman I am, I rushed to her aid but failed to notice the she had closed one of the glass patio doors, walked straight into it and initial contact was made with my nose, no jokes please, wherebye Flo creased up with laughter and even now she has a little giggle when she thinks I'm not watching. Healing very nicely but still black and blue.

Flo has started packing today, she says that way we can still go out and about and do the packing a little bit at a time. Good idea but I think she packed a little bit too much and we might have to unpack again. I don't know how she does it but the cloths come out wrinkle free from the suitcase..........wish that could happen to me!!

We might be of the internet from next weekend for a few days until after the move but with luck shall be sorted out with a 3G Dongle very quickly.

Love to all the animals including the yorkie.

Denis and Flo