I am NOT going down to out Communal pool again. Never, ever, nada.
I was accosted by a massive rubber ring yesterday and when I asked ( nicely ) for them to remove it from the pool I was treated to more swear words than I know myself.
Later the same 'lady' demanded that I remove a sponge ball from the little pool as I had picked on her. I was minding my own business reading my book at the time and had not noticed the offending ball. So I walked down to the little pool with her in hot persuit and lowered my voice and asked the four tots in the pool who belonged to the ball. The unfortunate little lad who was holding it let go sharpish so I gently asked the same question again. Meanwhile the demon ball had lodged itself in the hands of a little girl.
JUST GUESS WHOSE LITTLE GIRL SHE WAS ? ? ?
And the 'lady' yelled, don't blame my ******* daughter, it's not her ******* ball.
( here we go again ) So I asked her, did she ( the 'lady' ) did she want the ball out of the pool or not? Don't you talk to my ******* child...........................and on..............and on...................and on..........................................
Stop, says I, enough........................................but she went on.........and on....................and on..............
Right says I, sort it out yourself, BUT, if I see you or yours with an inflatable, a ball or breaking ANY of the Community rules, I shall phone the Guardia.
Oh no you ******* won't she yelled, only the Presidente can do that.
WRONG, says I, just try it and watch me.
Then I went home for a coffee and a cigarette.
Today, I flew in the face of logic and went to the pool again.
Group of early teens, yelling, bombing and jumping in. OK. Explain to the that it is quite dangerous to act in this way and the notices request you do not do this.
'No comprehede', says the biggest off them. 'He don't understand Mrs' says another. But you can read can't you I asked. Course I can. And you can see the pictures? Yeah. So what part of DO NOT JUMP; DO NOT BOMB do you NOTunderstand ? ? ?
He don't understand none of it Mrs, he's Spanish.
Tell him to have a look at the board then because it's WRITTEN IN SPANISH, ENGLISH and GERMAN..................AND, while you're at it, take a look yourself.
Calm...............................for ten minutes.
Enter child about 12 years old, angelic looking with the biggest pair of those 'croc' shoes. No Shower ( of course not ! ! ! ) flings one of his shoes into the crowded pool and flings himself in after it ! ! !
I look on in amazement.
He does it again.
I am weary with all this.
I approach him and ask him, a, not to throw his shoes into the pool and b, not to jump in.
He glares at me and shrugs his shoulders and turns away................and..................THROWS BOTH BLOODY SHOES INTO THE POOL and HIMSELF AFTER THEM.
There is a jet of steam coming from my head and it is NOT cigarette smoke. Keep calm Karen.
OK, enough is enough, have another quiet word. The kid promptly sits on the edge of the pool and puts his shoes ON then stands up and jumps in the pool ! ! ! He drags himself and his bloody shoes out of the pool and leaves.
Meanwhile the origional group are eyeing me , obviously waiting for me to leave so I did by the rear gate. As soon as the gate closed, I heard the telltale splash, so I re entered by the top gate and there he was poised for flight again.
Unfortunately he could not regain his balance and he fell in rather ungainly. when he emerged I mentioned Guardia to him and he too made a sharp exit.
I DO NOT want to be a pool policeman.
I shall inform El Presidente that I want my Community Fees reduced because I will NOT be using the pool again.
So, is it BOMBING or shall I use a BOMB ? ? ?
