My Review of 2012

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28 Dec 2012 3:23 PM by darren.wilkes Star rating in Bolton/Vegas. 747 forum posts Send private message

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Having read this forum with interest for the last few years and being an owner at CDA since the start, as well as an occasional visitor, I decided to write a brief review of the past years events that have caught my attention on this forum.

2012 has been a busy year it started with much anticipation, would Paramount Construction begin, would Corvera Airport finally open, would we get our Clubhouse, would the football pitches ever be fit for football, would those poor Jardines with no foliage finally get some trees and would I ever be spotted at Condado.

As the weather got warmer, people worried about the fruit fly infestation, the increase in feral cats and the water levels on the lakes. Then people stopped concerning themselves with such trivialities as soon as the first major disaster of the year struck Condado an “who done it” of epic proportions, a mystery that Colombo, Poirot and Scooby Doo would struggle to solve, a case that to this day remains unsolved!

Who poo’d in the pool? The suspect remains at large and it’s thought to be a young child; however where were the parents at, drinking sangria, watching Jeremy Kyle or out walking their attack dog? Anybody with any information please contact Condado Security, your safety will be guaranteed and if needed you can be placed in the CDA witness protection plan and given a new identity and a new home in one of the Villa Janas, nobody will ever find you over there.

As summer arrived we had the grand ceremony to commemorate the laying of the first stone at Paramount Park Murcia. This put a lot of doubters minds at rest, dignitaries arrived from as far afield as Alhama and Totana to celebrate this memorable occasion. The week after the stone was stolen and no further work on the park has taken place. Executives at the proposed Peppa Pig Park and Hannah Montana world are confident that their parks will be completed well before Paramount laid their second stone. Police are also appealing for any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the thief, following the acquittal of Mickey Mouse, who could afford OJ’s legal team.

At the peak of summer the Pound hit recent highs against the Euro as the lake surrounding La Isla hit new lows! Fish died, people cried and La Isla lost their wonderful views. To make matters worse we had irrigation problems meaning that the newly planted trees were not getting watered and were in a critical condition. Amazingly the grass on the football pitches flourished and resembled the Amazon jungle?

Umbrellas around the pools were banned, which angered parents with children and ginger people. On a positive note, this meant less young children could spend time around the pool meaning they had to defecate in their own apartments, rather than the public pools.

Summer also saw the arrival of our new clubhouse, or the relocation of the derelict sales office, depending on how you chose to view it. This greenhouse clubhouse now provides a great place for the kids to buy a can of coke, after a long day cycling on the greens and playing football on the fairways. It also offer breathtaking views across the empty mud filled lake beds.

As Al Katraz Kazar filled with new business’ many hoped this could be a revival for CDA following the dashed hopes of Corvera Airport, Peppa Pig Park and Paramount, however as the square got busier prices of apartments dropped faster than a hooker’s pantie. Meaning new buyers could buy a brand new apartment for as little as £40k, new buyers flocked to snap up these bargains, however trouble was brewing behind the scenes.

Things started quite innocently with a posting by Mrs Tann, questioning some of our administrator’s decisions. Next the administrators emailed all the owners to criticize the actions of some of the presidents. The next thing you know all hell broke loose. An emergency meeting was called and the Level 1 president was hastily replaced, suddenly everybody on the forum was forced to choose a side, like a bitter divorced, or when Deidre from Coronation Street was imprisoned.

The Millennium haters, recruited a new leader from Mazarron Country club(Fighter2), who had successfully ran a similar revolution at that urbanization several years ago! Along with a crack team of soldiers they set out to dethrone the administration, just like they had seen happen in Tunisia and Egypt. It became known as the Condado Uprising!

As the AGM approached Condado became like the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles, as the 2 gangs fought hard for control of the forum. However Millennium were not prepared to go without a fight, they called in reinforcements from the Banks and Spanish presidents. People in the clover dare not speak of the mutiny for fear of repercussions. Things turned nasty on the streets, looting occurred as washing machines were stolen along with practice balls from the driving range.

New posters like “Taffswell” and “Franknfurter” appeared on the forum and seemed intent on staring trouble, then came “pseudonym gate”. Golfinjim accused people of posting under false names (not realising the irony as he is actually called Frank?). At one point it was even stated that there was a drunken person in the Condado Club pretending to be Darren Wilkes? He must have been looking for a good beating!

When the AGM finally arrived the ML haters had lost their steam, their smear campaign had failed to gather momentum and they realised that they were beaten. Even though there were shouts of election rigging, Millennium successfully held onto their position and remained our administrators.

The battle was not without causalities, we lost many new purchasers and a few of the old posters left the forum in disgust! RIP “hammibabe” (She used to always talk about Ham and I miss that. Took me months to realise that Ham was a pet name for her Husband and not a love of the Meat?), if you’re out their looking down (or up) on us, we salute you Mrs Ham!

As the year draws to an end we can look back at 2012 and say “We got through it!” just like the Millennium bug, the bird flu pandemic, the Gordon Brown Leadership and Season 6 of The Only Way is Essex!

I am intrigued to see what 2013 has in store for the area? Will the Camposol Bridge get rebuilt following the floods, will the Airport at Corvera  open, will the Pool Pooper be apprehended, will the apartments get painted, will the ML haters return and will the clover bring back the 12 bottles for 10 Euros deal?

I look forward to more lively debate in 2013!

 


This message was last edited by darren.wilkes on 28/12/2012.

_______________________

Darren - Founder Member of the Half Empty Crew, Corvera Test Pilot, Winner of La Cata Raffle, Keyholder for the Football Pitches & NOT the Condado burglar!

 



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28 Dec 2012 6:04 PM by julianpray Star rating in Middx. & La Isla, Bl.... 93 forum posts Send private message

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   Hehehe..  I like.. 

Best read of the year..!!

 

 




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28 Dec 2012 6:19 PM by shampers Star rating in Warrington & Jardin .... 1057 forum posts Send private message

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Not a bad bit of prose from a Burltern lad, but get off the fence will ya 



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                  Dave                
 



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28 Dec 2012 6:41 PM by lgardner Star rating in Balsall Common & J13. 67 forum posts Send private message

This is the funniest thing I have read on the forum.
It perfectly summed up the year. I agree bring back the 12 for 10

Very good


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28 Dec 2012 7:11 PM by stu c Star rating. 8 forum posts Send private message

Omg top class haven't laughed so much in ages ha ha ha


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28 Dec 2012 8:34 PM by Jann Star rating in Merseyside and Jardi.... 802 forum posts Send private message

Brill - the pool poopers of CdA could never have expected to get so much coverage!!



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Jan



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28 Dec 2012 10:12 PM by nijinski Star rating in Manchester & La Isla. 117 forum posts Send private message

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Top one, well done, made me laugh

Tony


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28 Dec 2012 10:29 PM by foggysdad Star rating in Chesterfield, UK. 56 forum posts Send private message

29 Dec 2012 8:42 AM by underhand Star rating in Worcester and Jardin.... 225 forum posts Send private message

Darren having been at work yesterday  and coming home and reading your post you brightened up my day  thank you.

Mandy

The Darren appreciation society




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29 Dec 2012 11:29 AM by hamibabe Star rating in West Mids. 1317 forum posts Send private message

Hi Darren

Just had to reply

I have had a really crap Christmas but your comments have brightened up my day.Thank you

Yes Ham is my husband, short for Hemendra. Got called Ham in Infants school as the kids could not get their heads round his name & so it has remained.

Hope you and everyone else have a great new year

(Mrs Hamibabe)

Jan xx


 


This message was last edited by hamibabe on 29/12/2012.

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West Mids & Jardin 5



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29 Dec 2012 8:50 PM by Billbo Star rating in Hartlepool & Jardine.... 654 forum posts Send private message

OMG Darren, I hope you can cope with all this adulation !!

Darren for level 1 president, that's what I say. Your witty & sarcastic delivery might even get ML to work with integrity and transparency.................................................but there again, maybe not .

Regards,



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Will

( & Jackie if it's not controversial !! ).



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Previous Threads

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