Two Men And A Rover 400

Thank you more tomorow.....ooops later today including a video

Luton.....off to bed

CHAPTER THIRTEEN…..how to order a Mc Donalds in France in Spanish

Our target for the first day was 600 miles and that was within our grasp….our aim was to turn up towards Toulouse and stop for the night….this went out the window i,m afraid with our inability to actually take the Toulouse turn off ( it helps when navigating around Europe or anywhere for that matter to actually take a turn off when required rather than watch it pass you by )….well we headed towards Montpellier…..i settled Mike down by claiming i had i had a back up plan..and i did ( the map ).

I glanced across to Mike who seemed to have become a little agitated by my frantic attempts to find another route…he need not have worried “its all in hand we can miss Montpellier out ” i said …i could see Mike was thinking ..”you mean like we missed Toulouse out ” …….i treated his quip with the contempt it deserved ..after all he was driving and he missed the turn off ( stands to reason)

Well we turned off north towards Millau and satisfied we were on the right road stopped off for a Mc Donalds …the children were happy with this as you can guess …..but this turned out not to be one of our best moments; Mike,s Spanish is poor ( not as poor as mine ) but still poor…so helping each other out we ordered our meals in Spanish ( in France ) Pauline who was getting hungry at this stage stepped in and saved the day firstly by pointing out that we were in the wrong country and then placing the order by pointing at the menu boards ( handy trick that…pointing at the menu boards )

CHAPTER THIRTEEN…..how to order a Mc Donalds in France in Spanish

Our target for the first day was 600 miles and that was within our grasp….our aim was to turn up towards Toulouse and stop for the night….this went out the window i,m afraid with our inability to actually take the Toulouse turn off ( it helps when navigating around Europe or anywhere for that matter to actually take a turn off when required rather than watch it pass you by )….well we headed towards Montpellier…..i settled Mike down by claiming i had i had a back up plan..and i did ( the map ).

I glanced across to Mike who seemed to have become a little agitated by my frantic attempts to find another route…he need not have worried “its all in hand we can miss Montpellier out ” i said …i could see Mike was thinking ..”you mean like we missed Toulouse out ” …….i treated his quip with the contempt it deserved ..after all he was driving and he missed the turn off ( stands to reason)

Well we turned off north towards Millau and satisfied we were on the right road stopped off for a Mc Donalds …the children were happy with this as you can guess …..but this turned out not to be one of our best moments; Mike,s Spanish is poor ( not as poor as mine ) but still poor…so helping each other out we ordered our meals in Spanish ( in France ) Pauline who was getting hungry at this stage stepped in and saved the day firstly by pointing out that we were in the wrong country and then placing the order by pointing at the menu boards ( handy trick that…pointing at the menu boards )

Having taken our fill we set off again and started to climb towards Millau and what was to be the highlight of the journey the Millau viaduct and our target of 600 miles for the day

liking this more each day..............................

next please!

Here we go....thanks for all the comments

CHAPTER FOURTEEN….Pauline disturbs me in the night

I must admit we had no idea the Millau viaduct was on our new route until we were almost upon it…..but what a stunning wonder it is ….Designed by the French structural engineer Michel Virlogeux and British architect Norman Foster, it is the tallest vehicular bridge in the world, with one mast’s summit at 343 metres ….you feel like your driving through the clouds although due to the in-ability of the windscreen washers to come into contact with the windscreen that often we hoped moisture was kept to a minimum …and our prayers were answered …….i have to say Millau is a must visit .
Well we had reached our target of 600 miles and we made for the closest hotel which turned out to be twenty miles past Millau at Banassac …although the Rover 400 had done well..i parked it facing down hill (just in case we needed a jump start) ….we dumped our bags and children in the rooms and made for the bar with thoughts of a swift drink and then a good nights sleep …the bar was empty apart from an elderly French couple in the corner ( they must of been French they did,nt speak Spanish ) …then disaster i went to check on the children …they were fine but on my return to the bar i just knew something was up… Mike and Pauline were sat there looking less than happy “WHAT” i asked …yep you,ve guessed it my fricken mobile had gone off while i was away ( female argasm ) twice according to Pauline ….Mike looked furious ….not as furious as the French couple though (that bloody ring tone ) ….after the French couple retired possibly with thoughts of my ring tone fresh in their minds Mike and Pauline began to see the funny side ……but Pauline was to have her revenge in the night

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

We retired to our rooms with thoughts of a good nights sleep …Mike had his own room and Pauline the children and myself shared a family room (twin beds) ….well i,m to old for anything else…….but any thoughts of a good nights sleep went out the window when Pauline went over into the land of nodd (fell asleep) …it,s no secret to anyone who lives within a 100 yards of Pauline that she can snore for England,Spain,France or any other fricken country she happens to be in ….sleep was not an option (for me anyway)….i contented myself with watching Mr Bean in french on the T.V …i did spend twenty minutes or so trying to change my ringtone but soon lost the will to live.
We had booked the 11.30 pm sea France ferry from Calais to Dover so at 9.00 am we were again on our way stopping for continental breakfast a few miles down the road not a sniff bacon never mind black pudding and fried bread (god i was missing Spain).
The scenery was fantastic.. chateau,s perched on mountain tops with lush valleys below them ..the road it,self climbed and then dropped often i would slip the car into neutral as we coasted down a hill (legal) i don,t think so …but it gave the car a rest.
We were closing in on Paris ..well it was still a couple of hundred miles away ( but closing in sounds better) ..we decided to take the gamble and drive through Paris ..was this a good idea?…well lets put it this way (it was Mikes idea)

 THROUGH Paris?!

You are madder than I at first thought!

 THROUGH Paris?!

You are madder than I first thought!

Don't want to interrupt the flow but just checking if we've managed to fix this thread as it wasn't working properly.

Justin

EDITED TO SAY:  FIXED IT!

CHAPTER SIXTEEN..a child called Paris

Paris has always had a place in my heart …my daughter was made there 30 years ago ( too much information?) you might think so but there is an important lesson to be learned here ….if your not planning a family when visiting Paris take a tourist guide and a map and take in the sights…..this saves many sleepless nights some nine months later.
Well we had taken the gamble and decided to give the Rover 400 a tour of Paris and it payed off …the traffic through the city was not too bad …although the children were a little disappointed not to take any of the sights in …..however not as disappointed as my parents were at my inability to take the sights in 30 years previous (i was only 17)
We had saved some time and we phoned ahead and checked the times of earlier ferries …..but horror stories had filtered through to us via mobile phone that there was a huge backlog of traffic at Calais ….
Mike took over the driving so that i could catch up on sleep knowing that once in England (if we made it) i would have another 250 miles to drive

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN……. where did everybody go

Well the six year holiday for the Rover 400 was just a hundred or so miles away from ending….never in my wildest dreams when i drove it out all those years ago did i think it would be returning home to England ….to start with the windscreen wipers would need to be fixed (fast) if the car was to survive in the British climate ….when imported to Spain the car was in mint condition but the last six years had taken it,s tole ..the boot had been broken into smashing the lock and the sun had burnt the top of the dash board and also cracked the speedo lens and a freak hail storm had hammered the cars bodywork (nasty)
The horror stories of huge tailbacks at Calais played on our minds and as we closed in on the port we expected huge traffic jams …but as we got closer it became the apparent that there was nobody there (well there was us) …

We approached British passport control and handed over our passports just in time for my mobile phone play it,s part (female orgasm) however this time to bloody thing was not to hand..i had packed it in my bag in preparation for boarding the ferry …both Mike and i frantically tried to shut it up by raining blows on the bag ..this was all too much for Pauline broke out into uncontrollable laughter …..turning round to the passport control booth i was greeted by a less than impressed passport control officer …handing our passports back she just shook her head from side to side and waved us through ..Mike had been right that bloody ring tone did indeed get us in trouble

More Tomorrow

Luton

Well having got past one very unhappy passport control officer the ferry awaited… we lined up in row 12 ready to board we were told to line up in row 11 and the little ticket we had been given to put on our rear view mirror also said row 11 but what the hell why start sticking to the rules at this late stage in proceedings ……we boarded and made our way up to the food deck (mistake) 7 euros for a shergar burger in a box ….we decided that for health and safety reasons we would take our fill once back in England.
The children loved the ferry though and although frozen stayed on deck in their T shirts and shorts (i did tell them to travel light)

Well we had made it to England and although we had a long journey ahead up to Yorkshire which was dogged with road works (as usual for England) we had the sad task of saying goodbye to Mike ….his aunt had arranged to pick him up at a junction of the M25…….Mike was to ring the next day and say that he had indeed had the time of his life (and asked me to message him my ring tone) turns out life for one day without it had proved too much for him ……what a crock i was stuck with the fricken thing he actually wanted it.

Back in York and after a quick look by a garage it was decided that life could just not go on for the Rover 400 the cam belt would have to be changed….spark plugs were shot and the tories were in power last time it had an oil change and on top of that there was the funding required to return such an old car to Spain.

The fact that i am typing chapter nineteen here in my house in Spain with the Rover 400 sat outside is because of a final twist in this story….. “Two Men Gran Alacant And A Rover 400″ has a rather large fan base in particular Torrevieja where i receive many private messages and messages on the forum asking when the next chapter will be ready and in fact the story is to go to print later this year…..well one of these fans and a local business when hearing the poor old Rovers plight helped fund the return of the car ….and there she sits in some Spanish geezers parking spot (now thats pushing it)

Last Part Tomorrow

 Can't wait for the final part.

Would love to buy the book when it's ready

i assume much more detail?

Brilliant Luton, even the second read, I read it in April & you have told us all in your last post where that was.  (No more clues).

The fact that i am typing chapter nineteen here in my house in Spain with the Rover 400 sat outside is because of a final twist in this story….. “Two Men Gran Alacant And A Rover 400″ has a rather large fan base in particular Torrevieja where i receive many private messages and messages on the forum asking when the next chapter will be ready and in fact the story is to go to print later this year…..well one of these fans and a local business when hearing the poor old Rovers plight helped fund the return of the car ….and there she sits in some Spanish geezers parking spot (now thats pushing it)

Hi Flybynight .....no advert intended just copied from the original ....glad you enjoyed

Cheers Luton

CHAPTER TWENTY ….THE END

The Rover 400 drove like a dream during it,s return journey although the drive was shorter (i returned via Bilbao) …but something was missing …it was not just the fact that i was on my own…no it was the fact that every bloody thing worked …the windscreen wipers,the cam belt,even the frickin radio worked.

Mike and i will remain friends forever and the Rover 400 will always have a place in his heart ….he phoned me the other day telling me his latest sales ploy when selling a Mercedes Benz …….when showing a customer round a new car he will slam the door or rev the Engine and say….”you see sounds just like a Rover 400″…….silly sod

THE END

Luton