Just the other day I was chatting to my youngest daughter Megan shortly after she had returned from seeing her boyfriend. As we were talking about her day out she happily informed me that she felt that her boyfriend’s dad liked her.

When I enquired as to why she thought that…..Megan then told me that the father had told his son that he thought Megan was very polite and had very good manners. I liked to hear that because it made me realize that even though my daughter could sometimes be challenging with her parents she still had her values in place and demonstrated respect towards other adults outside our home.

Seems like a silly thing to write about but sometimes when we get the basics right it is a great multiplier and makes people more willing to refer us to other people. An aspect that is essential in our workplace and life and friends in general.

All in all the conversation got me thinking about the small basic behaviors that have major repercussions as to how we are perceived by others.

So what are some basic principles in developing relationships and having people refer us .

SHOW UP ON TIME

When I started teaching a new class this last September I had a few students who arrived late into a few classes. On being questioned it was obvious that their reasons were not valid and it was only when I highlighted the message they were sending out to others that their behavior changed.

What they were demonstrating was a lack of respect towards me as their teacher and also towards their fellow students in the class. As they interrupted the class teaching on their late arrival they were in fact disrupting the learning of the other students and showing the other students that they were not important enough to warrant them making an effort to be at their seat before the class started.

By demonstrating some respect towards their teacher and fellow students it would make others more receptive towards these students and more willing to listen to what they have to say.

Always do what you say you will do

There is nothing worse than someone, who makes commitments to other people and then fails to deliver on them.. It astounds me how many people let other people down and worse than that do not feel they have done anything really wrong..

Let me give you an example. A group of students have to do a presentation in class. They have to prepare a powerpoint and hand out notes and they get marked on this work. In the group they allocate roles of who does what. On the day of the presentation one of the students has not completed her part of the presentation. In fact she has let the other students down and has not done what she said she was going to do. A classic scenario of where trust is lost just because the person did not do what they said they were going to do .

Say “Please and Thank You”

I know this must seem really obvious, but it astounds me to see how many young people now do not do this .Simply by showing respect for other people and saying thank you, where they become aware of how important they are to you then, you make yourself far more valuable to other people and obviously you then become far more referable too.

So  its really complicated then? …..to get on in life and to get people to respond to you  do the following .

BE ON TIME

ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO

SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Simple ...isn,t it?