Spanish Eyes, English Words

Apologies to both William Shakespeare and Hamlet for hijacking literature's greatest soliliquy, but I need to lighten the mood in Piddock Place. It's Week 5 of Operation Educating Paddy, and Alex thinks he is progressing really well with his training. I think secretly he's one of Alex's favourites, and he certainly loves Alex, so he looks forward to Wednesday evenings. So do I - or at least I did until Wednesday.

A bit of background information may be useful here, so you can understand the true awfulness of Wednesday. When Paddy came to us, he was a timid, tiny 7 - 9 week old puppy. As he was abandoned to die by the canal at La Marina, we don't know his exact age. However, even then he was a clever little boy. Within two days, he had pretty much house trained himself, and would ask to go whoopsies and wee wees. And by the time we'd had him a week, he would sit to order, with or without the bribery of his favourite treats. Sometimes, there's no need to even say the word. When he sees me pick up his bowl at supper time, his backside is welded to the floor in anticipation. So for the last 7 months, Paddy has earned a degree with distinction in the art of sitting.

When Alex announced that we were going to sit and stay - or rather our dogs were - I was quietly confident that we'd get half of it right, although I couldn't imagine Paddy staying when Mummy walked away from him. With a light heart, I took my place in the circle of 17 dogs and owners and prepared to take my bow as Paddy amazed everyone with his ability to sit. Oh foolish woman - so shortly to be reminded that pride goeth before a mighty fall!

Alex explained what was going to happen. 'You will sit down your dog, then you will walk away. If he tries to follow, you will say 'No, stay.' Easy enough really - at least for 16 dogs. Paddy's 'Sit' function seemed to have been temporarily disabled. On the first command to 'Sit,' he must have misheard me, because I found it necessary to avail myself of one of those little black plastic bags all dog owners carry everywhere. So I made sure the next 'Sit' was crisp and clear, to avoid another misunderstanding.

Now he was obviously suffering from temporary deafness, because he ignored the command, and the next 10 increasingly exasperated 'Sit's. Taking the situation in at a glance, Alex headed our way. 'You're in trouble now matey,' I said. 'Alex is going to tell you off good and proper.' But Alex did not - it was me who got the lecture. 'Sandra, you are too soft with your dog. He has to do as you  say, and you have to make him. It's got to be you or the dog, and it cannot be the dog.' Too right it couldn't - when you have well over 30 kilos of puppy, you can't allow him to be the boss. Alex advised me to push his rump down firmly as I said 'Sit,' just to remind him what to do.

After what seemed like 127 failed attempts to push down the rump while saying 'Sit,' both Paddy and I were very hot and bothered. Alex took pity on me - or more likely Paddy - and suggested we join the other dogs and owners who - having sat and stayed - were now enjoying a nice walk around the campo. This was also part of the training, as the dogs were walking sedately by the sides of their owners. Sensing Paddy's mood, Alex suggested I just let him walk as he wanted until we'd both calmed down.

Naturally, because Paddy had the official sanction to do as he wanted, he did as he was supposed to do, and trotted happily by my side. When we reached the bridge over the canal, I was sorely tempted to give Paddy his first, impromptu diving lesson. Alex must have clocked the murderous glint in my eye, because he hastily announced that we were going to swap dogs and get them to walk to heel too. He said it was because we would all be more relaxed with someone else's dog, but he didn't fool me for a moment. He knew if he didn't get Paddy well away from Mummy pretty damn quick there would be a vacancy in next Wednesday's class.

Paddy compounded his earlier felonies by not even trying to pull over the well built Spaniard who had the misfortune to get him on the walk back to the training ring. Meanwhile, I enjoyed the unfamiliar feeling of having a good dog at my side for once. The beautiful honey coloured Spaniel was so well behaved and affectionate, I tried my hardest to get the owner to do a pup swap, but understandably, he was having none of it.

You'd have thought my dog had  caused me enough shame and embarrassment for one evening, but he had one last stunt to pull. Alex said the words that always accompany the end of an exercise. 'Sit down the dog by your side.' My little Spaniel sat at once, and I looked across to enjoy the spectacle of the hunky Spaniard coaxing my recalcitrant pup to sit down. And my shame was complete. He said 'Sientate,' just loud enough for me to hear, and Paddy promptly plonked his backside firmly in the sand of the training ring. For God's sake, he won't obey his Mummy in English, but a Spanish guy tells him Sientate and he can't get down quick enough!

Anybody want a dog? House trained, and will sit to order. Because for the last two days  he's been doing exactly that!

On Monday 29 September the Spanish Constitutional Court voted unanimously to suspend the vote for Catalan independence due to be held on November 9.  According to Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, the referendum is illegal and undemocratic, and a violation of the rights of all Spaniards. In an effort to justify the totally unjustifiable, Partido Popular Euro MP Esteban Gonzalez Pons has written a letter to his fellow Members of the European Parliament. Although the letter was not intended for Catalan eyes, it has nevertheless been made available to leading advocates for Catalan independence. You can find the full text of the letter here, in both Spanish and English.

The first point Pons makes is that the Catalan situation is very different from Scotland’s. Anyone with the slightest grasp of European political history knows this to be the case, although sections of the press will persist in discussing the two situations in tandem, as if there was a real similarity. Pons then states that the provisions for Catalonia made under the Spanish constitution granted it ‘the highest levels of self-government in its history, making possible a major time of prosperity, welfare and stability.’ And if you believe that, you probably still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

How can a country – and Catalonia is a country by every definition except the ones used by Madrid – have a high level of self-government when it does not have fiscal autonomy? One of the main reasons why the Catalans are seeking independence from Spain is because although they contribute around 19%  to Spain’s national GDP, only 9.5%  of Spain’s territorial investment budget will find its find its way back to Catalonia from Madrid in 2015. That’s even less than the paltry 9.6% allocated last year, and is a blatant infringement of the 2005 law which obliged the Spanish Government to allocate an annual territorial investment equivalent to Catalonia’s contribution to the GDP. This has never happened, and for all those years, Catalonia has received around half of its legal entitlement from Madrid.

For a country that tops every economic table – leading Spain in exports, industry and tourism – this is totally unacceptable.  To maintain a position at the top of the economic table, it’s necessary to invest in infrastructure, and without appropriate support from central government, that is just not possible. Remember Catalonia contributes 19% to Spain’s GDP – it also accounts for 25.9% of the country’s total exports, which is way ahead of Madrid, in second place with 11%. 

Those figures demolish Pons’ argument that without financial support from Spain, Catalonia could  not service its debt, pay it civil servants or provide basic public services. And one has to question Pons’ definition of financial support. Looking at these figures, and remembering that since 2005 at least, Catalonia has only received half the territorial investment it is entitled to by law, isn’t it Catalonia that is providing financial support to Spain?

For many years, Catalonia has been underfunded in direct disregard of the law, yet with a per capita GDP of 27.43 million Euro it still manages to stay ahead of Spain (23. 10 million) and the rest of the member states of the EU (25.20 million). These figures don’t suggest a nation that ‘will become a junk bond without the support of the rest of Spain.’

With fiscal autonomy, Catalonia will be able to service its debts, invest in infrastructure and provide adequate public services. Rajoy’s predecessor Jose Luis Zapatero refused to grant Catalonia the same fiscal autonomy enjoyed by the Basque Country and Navarre since the return of democracy following Franco’s death. Under this economic agreement, all tax revenues are retained by the region to administer appropriately. However, Madrid still receives social security contributions and an annual quota payment.  With Catalonia being home to around 16% of the population of Spain, that quota would be significant. Clearly Spain would suffer more economically from the split that Catalonia, since an independent Catalonia would be contributing its fair share to the national budget, rather than oversubscribing to it, for the first time in many years.

Pons other main argument is that the referendum is illegal and undemocratic, since the Spanish Constitution invests sovereignty in all Spanish people. ‘Therefore the decisions that affect all Spaniards must be taken by all Spaniards, and not only by a part of them.’ It should be remembered that the referendum is a query – not a full vote on independence. The point of the November 9 vote is to determine whether the majority of Catalan people are for or against independence. Surely that is the first step, and it’s one that should be taken by the people it affects. This is a decision on whether to press for independence, not a ‘leave or stay in Spain’ vote.

If the November 9 referendum goes ahead, and the vote is in the affirmative – which seems likely at the time of writing – then of course all Spaniards should vote on it. And Senor Pons and his Partido Popular colleagues could then campaign for a No vote, while the Catalans campaign for a Yes vote. Then there may be a chance that all the information relevant to this question is out in the public domain, to enable every Spaniard to make an informed choice.  At the moment, Madrid seems bent on perpetuating myths and untruths like those outlined in this shameful letter.

I say ‘every Spaniard’ deliberately to include rather than separate the Catalans, for most Catalans consider themselves Spanish as well as Catalan. They have little desire to totally separate from Spain or Europe.  They want to thrive and prosper alongside their Spanish and European neighbours, but they want to do so as an independent country in full control of its economy.  That is surely a reasonable desire, given the unfairness of the treatment handed down to Catalonia by Madrid.

By publishing this letter, Esteban Gonzalez Pons has made it crystal clear why independence is an increasingly strong option for Catalonia. The world’s media is starting to realise that maybe the Catalans have a point, and that they are being treated unfairly by the Spanish Central Government. This letter reinforces that, because Pons’ arguments don’t really stand up to independent scrutiny. In the cold light of day, it’s likely that he has helped the Catalan cause, rather than hindering it.

I thought my regular readers might be interested in the progress in Educating Paddy, so here's an update. I'm lucky I'm not writing this from a hospital bed, dear reader, because, as on the two previous training sessions, as soon as Paddy eyeballed his new canine pals, he was like the rubber ball in the old Bobby Vee song - bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy. We survived the initial encounter though, and I was relieved to sit down, admitted to the magic circle of dogs and owners because Paddy is now deemed to be a Good Dog, and therefore welcome in polite society.

The relief was not to last long though - it rarely does where Paddy is concerned. A German Shepherd with an attitude problem was a latecomer to the group, and while his owner saw the training sessions as a way to calm her dog, the dog himself saw fight opportunities there for the taking. And his first chosen victim was Paddy. Now, Paddy loves all God's creatures - even when he catches a fly, he tries not to kill it. But there's only so much a pup can take, and when the owner removed the dog from the fight scene, Paddy took off after them to get his two penn'orth in.

Luckily I was holding onto the lead. Unluckily Paddy was like a pup possessed with superhuman - or rather supercanine - powers. He went off like a rocket, and so did I, still attached to the chair. It was like something out of a wild west movie - there's always an old cowpoke who gets knocked off his chair, then has it smashed over his head as the fight starts. Okay, I'll admit I've sometimes pictured myself in a wild west movie. However, I see myself more as the sassy lady in the low cut dress and garter - not the old cowpoke who's the first to hit the deck when the fun starts.

As it happened, only my pride was hurt, although the chair will not be welcoming any more dog owner backsides. For the chair, it was terminal, but in giving up its life, it saved mine, so I hope it's now happy in Chair Heaven, where presumably there are no puppies with hooligan tendencies bent on destruction. I'm not a religious person, but I am spiritual, and I very often count my blessings, rather than just taking life for granted. On Wednesday, the main blessing to count was the fact that, instead of wearing my usual skirt, I was in capri pants. This was a real 'legs in the air' job, and I would have hated to have inflicted the sight of my comfy but decidedly unsexy Bridget Jones knickers on those unsuspecting dog owners.

As usual, Paddy redeemed himself when the training started. He's an intelligent boy, and he loves learning new things. On Wednesday, we were practicing getting the dogs to walk by our sides, so that we were taking them for a walk, rather than vice versa. After a shaky start, when I almost became too well acquainted with the canal where Paddy was abandoned, my boy did a splendid job. I know that, because Alex uttered the words that every owner wants to hear - 'Sandra, go and pet your dog.' That meant the boy had done good, because Alex always stresses that we should reward success with affection - and maybe a treat. It's all about positive reinforcement.

Then it was time for the mid session break - and more embarrasment for me. Alex uses break time to introduce new dogs - or nervous dogs - to the other dogs and owners in a calm environment, when we're all sitting down. He holds the lead firmly, so if the dog isn't friendly, he's soon whisked away. This week's candidate was a large boxer, and there were no dramas, as he was a very friendly dog. Too friendly as it turned out, because after saying hello to Paddy in traditional doggy fashion, he decided to do the same to me. He buried his head in my crotch, and it took Alex and the dog's owner - a Spanish guy who was even more embarrassed than me - to get him away. You know you're getting old when the only males that find you irresistible have four legs and a tail!

Last night, when I took Paddy for his first walk after training, he headed off at full pelt, but I just gave his lead a firm tug, and he was back at  my side. And there he stayed for the duration of the walk - apart from rabbit chasing time in the orange groves. So it was worth all the embarrassment to manage a whole walk without getting my arm yanked out of the shoulder socket. Alex - you are truly amazing!