Spanish Eyes, English Words

Very often, people decide to buy something new for the home at Christmas. Sometimes it's a new sofa or carpet, or it may just be something small but integral to the room, to give the place a mini makeover for the festivities.

A couple of years ago, my friend - who shall remain anonymous to spare her blushes - decided she would buy some new cushions for Christmas. As we were going to Lemon Tree Road Market on the Sunday before the Big Day, we decided that was a good place to start.

Like all good expats, my friend is learning Spanish, and she's doing quite well with it now, but it took her a  while to get to grips with the basics. One trick she used if she was going for an appointment, or to buy something specific, was to work out or look up what she wanted to say, write it down on a post-it note and practice so she was pretty much word perfect. And this is what she did when we went to buy the cushions.

Her preferred phraseology was 'Tienes cuatro cojines rojos, por favor?' ('Do you have 4 red cushions, please?) By the time we'd driven from Algorfa to the market, I was heartily sick of hearing it, and even asked her to change the colour, or change the number of cushions to give me a break. She looked a little hurt, and pointed out that not everyone had a natural flair for Spanish. That made me feel a bit guilty, so I silently resolved to be a more supportive friend in future.

However, when I tried to help her out at the soft furnishings stall, she obviously misread my motives and thought my offer of help was a further aspersion cast on her linguistic capabilities. In a fit of pique, she told me to leave her alone, because she was perfectly capable of buying four cushions without my help, for goodness' sake. Well, she didn't actually say 'goodness' - none of my friends do, come to think of it - but you get the drift.

I blame myself for what happened next. Normally, my friend would sneak another peak at the post-it note, just for reassurance, but she wasn't going to do that after telling me she was fine with buying the cushions, was she? So, she marched up to the stall, and after a friendly 'Hola,' she made here request. 'Tienes cuatro cojones rojos, por favor?'

She seemed genuinely taken aback when everyone within hearing distance - including me - fell about laughing. The stallholder was beside himself, because she'd just asked him if he had four red testicles! In her confusion, she'd found out the hard way that one vital letter means the difference between a nicely furnished home and a very strange focal point.

Needless to say, we went home without the cushions. A couple of days later, she bought them in Ikea in Murcia, where she could just pick up what she wanted without having to say anything at all. It's safer that way - but boring, don't you think?

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Depending on where you live, Spain in the winter is generally warmer than England, although obviously you're not going to experience summer temperatures. The days are generally sunny, but the early mornings and  evenings can be cold. If you have a north or east facing home, you’ll probably need some form of heating between November and March.

South facing properties are cosy in the winter, but can be unbearably hot in the summer, even with air conditioning. As it’s easier to warm a house than cool it, I prefer to heat the place in the winter and enjoy the coolness for the rest of the year.

If your property comes with air conditioning, this can also be used as a heater. However, it’s not all that efficient in a large room, and it can be expensive to run. And if you have breathing problems or suffer from asthma, air conditioning can exacerbate your difficulties. For us, that's a no-no, as Tony has Asbestosis, and I have Lupus, which affects my lungs and therefore my breathing.

You can buy slim, panel radiators which are fairly economical to run, but they are mainly for background heat. Oil filled radiators are more efficient, and again are economical to run, but they are rather bulky and unattractive.

Although electricity in Spain is cheaper than in England, if you have a large property, you could find yourself with a hefty bill when March comes around. It might make more sense - particularly if you are on a fixed income - to look at ‘pay as you heat’ options.

One solution is bottled gas heaters. These are on castors, so they can be moved from room to room. There are some attractive models available,  ranging from around €70, although you’ll have to pay more if you want a heater with variable temperature controls. At the time of writing (December 2014) Aki in the Haberneras Centre in Torrevieja are offering a basic bottled gas heater for just €49.

Calor gas in England is expensive at around £29 for a 12 or 13kg bottle, but here in Spain it’s only around €17. A bottle should last between 10 days and 3 weeks, so it’s an economical option. The main advantage though, is that you're paying for your heat as you go, so there will be no nasty surprises when the bills come in. Buy your first bottle from your local ferreteria. You’ll have to pay around €40 deposit on your first bottle, and you’ll also need to show your passport or some other form of identity. (No, I don’t know why, so don’t ask!)

Many Spanish homes - even new builds - have open fireplaces, so you might fancy having a log fire. Wood burning stoves in Spain are very reasonable, starting from around €600, but I would recommend trying a log basket and open fire first, as a wood burner may make your room too hot. Depending on your taste, you can pay anything from €30 for something basic to €300 or more for a custom made cast iron log basket.

Ask your neighbours where you can buy logs; maybe several of you can club together to share a bulk delivery and save some money. We buy our logs at Ballaster’s, off the CV951 between San Miguel de Salinas and Torremendo. It’s self service, so you can pick the logs you want. And a nice bonus is that we can also pick up some orange blossom honey. The system is simple - just drive onto their weighbridge before and after loading your logs, then pay around 1 Euro per 10 kilos for the difference. If we take out the parcel shelf, our Ford Fiesta holds around €15 - €20 of logs, which lasts up to two weeks, depending on if we light the fire every day, and what time we light it.

Better still, collect your logs from a forest near you and dry them out ready for burning. And in many areas, people tend to dump wooden pallets and other waste wood on waste ground and near rubbish skips, so there’s another source of free firewood.

Just remember the buzz words 'pay as you heat' and you should be able to keep your home warm and cosy in winter. And you won't be facing electricity bills in spring that will make you hot under the collar.

Photo credit: Pixababy.com

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