Spanish Eyes, English Words

In the aftermath of the Paris attacks, something insidious is happening on social media. Quite rightly, people are trying to make sense of the senseless by sharing their thoughts and emotions, and showing solidarity with and sympathy for the French people. Whether you live in Spain or the UK, France is a near neighbour, and many of us have visited there, possibly numerous times, for holidays of which we have very happy memories. Most of us were also forced to learn French at school, so we have strong ties with the people and the country. People are articulating all this on Facebook and Twitter, and it's good - that's one of the things that social media is great for.

What isn't so great is that other people are shaming those who are still in shock about the Paris attacks because they are not showing the same level of empathy for victims of atrocities in other parts of the world. If you changed your profile to show the French flag, it's seen by some people as an insult to other countries such as Lebanon who have also been attacked recently. Apart from the sheer logistic nightmare of showing solidarity for all with a flag change - how can you get all those flags on one profile avatar, for heaven's sake? - it's a sweeping judgment on the characters of strangers. Just because someone does or does not fly the French flag virtually - because people have also been attacked for not changing their profile pic - it doesn't mean they don't care.

Then they turn their wrath on the media, and say they don't give other atrocities such blanket coverage. Really, some people just need to get out more, don't they? Because the media does report on everything, but the reason they appear to neglect some events and not others is down to us as consumers of news, not the media.

Most people - myself included - are guilty of skimming over the headlines first. Let's face it, who has time to read all the news in depth, every single day? Not so long ago, we relied on the newspapers and the television or radio news to keep us up to date on current affairs. Most people could only afford one newspaper, and they would read that cover to cover. These days, newspapers are relatively cheap, so you could buy half a dozen if you wanted to. Then there are online papers, dedicated news channels and websites, and opinion pieces by the million. It's impossible to keep up with everything, so we get more selective with our news consumption.

If we don't see a connection with a story - either geographical, cultural or emotional - we move on. Then we forget what we've read because we didn't engage fully with the piece. For example, most people remember reading about the 250 kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls abducted by Boko Haram in April 2014 - they were children, so we read and remembered, because a lot of those reading are parents and grandparents. They can identify with other parents the world over. But reading about the same number of adults abducted or killed in a country we can't even find on the map is not going to make the same lasting impression.

And let's face it, there are so many atrocities these days, we get confused about the ones we've read about, unless we have a personal connection of some sort. It's sad, but it's the way it is. Actually, there have always been more atrocities than we could ever know about, but they are more likely to be reported in detail these days, because we have the technology and it's cheaper to send correspondents to all the corners of the earth.

Then, because it's human nature not to admit that you didn't care about an atrocity enough to read all about it, some people come out fighting and accuse the media of ignoring it. Worse, they accuse other people of not caring about tragedies for all sorts of reasons - usually involving race and/or religion. What right does anybody have to judge strangers on whether or not they post their grief on Facebook or Twitter?

We can't all feel the pain for all the evils of the world. All we can do is empathise with things that touch our hearts. It doesn't mean we don't care - it just means we are human.

For more from me, check out Sandra in Spain.com

I love what I do, because it means I meet some really nice people, and get to go to some great events, and all in the name of 'work!' Last week I was privileged to be at the opening of the new drop in centre for Samaritans in Spain at Punta Marina Commercial Centre, Torrevieja. My main purpose was to cover the event as part of Dave Bull's media team for the Kayak Challenge on 28th November, but I had a lot of fun, and found out some more about what a great job the Samaritans in Spain do.

General Manager Stephen Baker showed me around the new drop in centre and explained why it was needed. The Samaritans charity shop in Punta Marina has been open for three years, and while it raises much needed operational funds, it's also clear that many people who come into the shop are not just looking for a bargain. They want someone to talk to, and somewhere to talk in private, and coming into the shop is their first tentative step towards getting the support they need. This happens so frequently that the volunteers who staff the shop are trained to deal with these  approaches, so they can put people at ease and encourage them to ask for help. While there was a room at the back of the shop, it was not really up to the challenge that the Samaritans face on a daily basis.

A couple of months ago, the Samaritans launched their freephone telephone line. They felt that this was an important thing to do, as a lot of their calls come from mobile phones, These calls tend to be fairly long, and so can work out expensive for the caller. Even worse, the client may run out of credit before they receive the support they need. The freephone line makes it easier for everyone, and now the call centre volunteers have a purpose built, comfortable room to work from, where there will be no distractions or interruptions.

In 2014, the volunteers dealt with over 600 callers and visitors.  That figure is scheduled to hit 1,000 by the end of 2015. The new drop in centre has a reception room, a separate room for the listeners manning the 24 hour phone line, and another room where clients can speak to a listener in total privacy. The facility will be open for 6 mornings and one evening every week.

When it's not in use, the drop in centre can be used as a meeting room for local charities, who will pay a nominal rent to cover costs. Al-Anon and Gam-Anon are already making use of the facility, which means even more people are being helped to overcome their problems. It's a great start for what is already proving to be a valuable new facility for expats needing support for whatever reason.

The drop in centre was officially opened by Dave Bull, who is a local writer and radio station owner and presenter. He was recently invited to be the local patron of the Samaritans, and he was honoured to be asked to perform such a special ceremony. The British Ambassador to Spain, Simon Manley travelled from Madrid to attend the opening, and to present the British Empire Medal to Chris Sumter for services to British citizens abroad. He praised the Samaritans for the support they offered to all English speaking expats, and said they made the Embassy's work much easier. He also remarked that helping people seemed to be ingrained in the British DNA!

Chris Sumter is the former President of the Samaritans in Spain, and she chose to return to Spain to receive the award, as she'd spent 7 years working here before returning to England. The fact that she chose the Samaritans' headquarters rather than Buckingham Palace shows her continuing deep commitment to the charity.

Local personal trainer Jason Scawthorn of Fit 4 All Gym Punta Prima will be competing in the Spartan Challenge in Valencia to raise funds for the Samaritans, also on 28th November. He held a fitness class ahead of the opening, and then gave Dave and his son Mitch some fitness tips in preparation for the Kayak Challenge, before putting them through their paces. He's an inspiring bloke - he even managed to talk me into lifting a 90 kilo tractor tyre a few inches off the ground! I haven't been the same since, but hey, I got carried along with the mood of the day. Meeting lots of different people of all ages, from all walks of life, celebrating something good - how marvellous is that? I love my job! If you  would like to sponsor Jason, contact him through the link above, or drop in at the centre at Punta Prima. Who know, you may pick up a bargain at the same time!

If you have some spare time and would like to help the Samaritans in Spain in their work, just speak to one of the friendly team in the shop or the drop in centre. The more volunteers they have to call on, the more people they can support.

Samaritans freephone number: 900 535 100

There's more about life in Spain at Sandra in Spain.com

We live about 20 minutes’ drive from the beautiful Zenia Boulevard shopping centre on Orihuela Costa, and when we need some serious retail therapy, we jump in the car and head off to Primark, C & A, Mango and the rest.

Tony often complains that there are not enough ‘Boys shops’ at Zenia boulevard. He’s not into fashion – his idea of dressing stylishly for a night out is a cheap shirt from the market and a pair of trousers that doesn’t have solder burns or paint splashes on them, even if those trousers are so old the price ticket was in pounds, shillings and pence. Which they usually are, because he has an uncanny knack of managing to ruin new trousers, while keeping his vintage clothing pristine. But I digress.

A few weeks back, Tony decided he needed to spend a week looking at every single plug, screw and power tool in Leroy Merlin. Or at least, that’s what it usually feels like. He complains about me spending hours in Primark, but at least I’m looking at stuff and trying it on, and filling the basket, rather than comparing two nails to see if the extra millimetre makes a difference. He seems to have been doing that since he read an article that said ‘Size Matters,’ but I’m going off topic again.

The last time we went to Zenia Boulevard, it was really crowded, so rather than wait until the end of the summer season for his Leroy Merlin fix, Tony wondered if it would be quieter on a Sunday – especially a gloriously sunny Sunday in September. Tony doesn’t like crowds, you see – that’s why he’s a Plymouth Argyle supporter. Last time Home Park was full was when they double booked the Jehovah’s Witness conference on a match day, and the JWs outnumbered the supporters by about 5 to 1. Or at least, that’s the local urban legend.

But enough of this rambling. As it turned out, for once, Tony made the right decision. Pity I didn’t write it down on the calendar –it doesn’t happen very often. About as often as Plymouth Argyl win an away match in fact. The shopping centre was minus the usual weekday crowds, but what really struck me was how the families were making a real day out of their shopping trip. The kids were riding around on animals, in cars, or on the miniature ‘tour bus’ that zipped around the malls. In fact, the parents seemed to be enjoying riding around on the bus as much as the kids. It was all so different from a cheerless shopping expedition on a grey English high street. And judging by the number of shopping bags around, the lovely weather and relaxed atmosphere of Zenia Boulevard on a Sunday afternoon was encouraging people to part with plenty of Euros.

When you write for a living, you tend to notice strange things that pass other people by, and I noticed something as we sat having a drink in London Square – which, like the name suggests, has representations of London, with Guardsmen at the top of the travelator to the underground car park, and iconic red telephone boxes.
Primark must have been doing a roaring trade, because there were at least 3 brown paper Primark carrier bags for every plastic bag from somewhere else. What was even more interesting was that, almost without exception, these bags were toted along the malls by men, not women.

I wonder what that tells us about humanity? Are women ashamed to shop in Primark, or are they just lucky enough to have husbands and partners who are chivalrous enough to carry their shopping for them? Who knows? Who even cares, really, but I did, right then and right there.

As we carried on with our perusal of the shopping centre, the presence of a Batman and Batgirl photo opportunity stand bought out the child in me. Or maybe it was the chance to have a huge cleavage, however fleetingly that did it. At any rate, I managed to get Tony – and a complete stranger – to pose with me, Haven’t done that since last October, when I went down to Benimar on a girls’ night out, and that one was fuelled by vodka.

One thing I like about Zenia Boulevard is that pets are welcome on the malls, and even in some stores. We were quite amused to see how one couple transported their pooch around Leroy Merlin. All in all, our Sunday shopping trip was a relaxing experience, and we rounded it off with lunch at Bar Yu, our favourite Chinese restaurant at Punta Marina Shopping Centre. One day we’ll try out the food court at Zenia Boulevard, but the siren call of Bar Yu is hard to resist. Try Zenia Boulevard on a Sunday – You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Like this? Read some more at Sandra in Spain.com