Shall I stay or shall I go?

When I left you last week we were still at the grindstone here in the UK and in the happy position of owning a spacious one bed flat on the seafront in Estepona. The flat had a parking space and storeroom and it was perfect for a quick break, or to let for holiday makers but it wasn't suitable for longer periods of residence, especially for both my Husband and myself as one of us would probably end up being thrown over the balcony!

 We were finding it increasingly frustrating only being able to go when there were no tenants, and with the new letting rules last June, we decided to put it on the market. We assumed that it would take about a year to sell and that we would have plenty more holidays there, but it sold within a week!

Panic!!!!

The buyers were extremely reasonable about our already booked flights in August, and agreed that we could put our personal stuff in the storeroom until we found our 'Forever home'.

We flew to Gibraltar at the end of August feeling very unsettled, and set about viewing properties with a vengance. We met some very good estate agents and some that frankly were useless. None of them however really listened to what we were looking for, and we spent a lot of time being dragged to places we weren't interested in buying.

We wanted a small detached place in Estepona with a pool and a garden and we really only had about 180,000 Euros. A tall order, but that was what we wanted!

We saw lovely off grid places up in the mountains, but too far from civilisation for me, we saw tiny little modern boxes on ghastly urbanisations which had no soul, we saw houses that we loved but which needed far more work than we could afford to do, and then our agent, Victoria from Future Homes in Estepona took us to Valle Romano.

We had been warned about Valle Romano, it has the nickname 'slippy valley' apparently, because there is so much subsidence there and this rather put us off the place, but it wasn't far to go, so we agreed to have a look.

It was pretty well perfect, 2 beds, detached, swimming pool, garden, and a bit rough and ready around the edges, but habitable. We fell in love, BUT it was 205,000 Euros. Now,I have never taken money seriously, whilst my Husband frets and worries about it,- but in the end we both knew that we would buy it. So we borrowed some more and it's been ours now since last October, and so far apart from one or two incidents, like having two floods, the constant dogs barking, and noise and dust and inconvenience of the roadworks it's been great. We love it.

Now we have to decide whether or not to move there permanently.

If we do decide to do that then when, now or in 5 years time?

Do we sell up completely here and close our businesses or do we try to run two lives?

Do we keep this house and let it for income, or do we sell up completely? 

What about No. 2 Son, where will he live?

Will I miss my life here too much? 

Will I miss my Grandchildren too much? 

Will we have enough to live on, with no income and no pensions?

Will I be able to make new friends in Spain?

Will I be able to learn to speak Spanish properly instead of the pidgin Spanish I currently speak?

Will we get bored with no work or structure to our lives?

Sooner or later we have to make a decision, we have a real Spanish home now, no excuses, and I ask again shall I stay or shall I go?

HELP!!!

...So here's the thing........... I'm 60 years old, though, I'm told I look and behave younger, (about 59!), married for 30 years with two grown-up Sons.

We live in a house we hate, having 'downsized' from our large family home of 30 years last year.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, - sensible, but we hate semi-detached suburbia. It's not us at all.

There's Me & Husband here, & our youngest Son (24). - Elder Son is married with 2.5 kids, soon to be 3, and lives in nearby Sevenoaks.

We are very lucky, and I do count my blessings, but the everyday pressure of trying to earn money and live in the cold and damp when we are acutely aware that today we are the youngest we will ever be again, is really eating away at our contentment.

My Husband and I are both self-employed, always have been, both completely unemployable. He repairs and installs garage doors, (thrilling eh?) and I am a dealer in ladies fashions and accessories ancient and modern. Our youngest Son has just returned home from Australia like a prodigal, and now has to start his life all over again.

The thing is.... Since I was 9 years old when I went to my Sister's new apartment in Estepona fifty years ago I have loved the place. My parents loved it too and eventually they bought a flat right on the seafront which we went to a couple of times a year.

After a long time away in my early 20's, I bought a holiday on the credit card for my family to Nerja and made my Husband drive me the two hours plus to visit Estepona. It felt like coming home, and I manged to persuade and cajol him into buying our own place there. Just a one bed apartment, in the port but it was bliss!

This is the story of what happened next, and what we'd like to happen next, and whether or not we'll ever do it.

I'm sure there are loads of us out there trying to work up the courage and the wherewithall to move to Spain. People, who like me devour all the 'escape to the sun' programmes, and all the ex-pat books and blogs. Living the life through their experiences without actually changing anything.

I hope I'll do it, but it's scary, watch this space.