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Condado Excursions
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28 May 2012 10:39 AM by SMV Star rating in I'm in Dublin/Jardin.... 722 forum posts Send private message

Just heard about a book on golf that gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information from a top golfer with 35+ years of  experience.  Some of the topics seem VERY relevant to playing on CdA!

Highlights  include:

Chapter 1)  How to  Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli  ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the  Tee

Chapter 3)  How to Get  More Distance off the Shank

Chapter 4)  When to Give  the Greenkeeper the Finger

Chapter 5)  Proper  Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m

Chapter 6)  How to Find  That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 7)  How to Relax  When You Are Hitting Three off  the Tee

Chapter 8)  How to Relax  When You Are Hitting Five off  the Tee

Chapter 9)  When to  Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

and not forgetting

Chapter 10) How to help your opponent find his ball when you are standing on it

 

The  book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY

Ø        A Paris  Hilton - an expensive hole

Ø        A Diego  Maradonna  - a nasty 5 footer

Ø        A  Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

Ø        A Rock  Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

Ø        A Cuban  - needs one more revolution

Ø        An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

Ø        An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the  bunker

Ø        A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

Ø        A Kate Moss – a bit thin

Ø        A Kate Winslett – a bit fat but OK

Ø        A Gerry Adams - playing a  Provisional

Ø        A Rodney King - over- clubbed

Ø        An O.J. Simpson - got away with it

Ø        A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

Ø        A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

Ø        A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it  seems

Ø        An elephant's arse - high and shitty

Ø        A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

Ø        A sister-in-law - up there but I know I shouldn't be


 




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29 May 2012 4:33 AM by golfinjim Star rating in Runcorn & Block 1 Pe.... 264 forum posts Send private message

golfinjim´s avatar

A Sally Gunnell....... Ugly but a good runner

An Arthur Scargill.......... Good strike crap result



_______________________
Frank Dont smack your kids.  They choose your care home.


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29 May 2012 1:03 PM by SMV Star rating in I'm in Dublin/Jardin.... 722 forum posts Send private message

A Polaris...............looked promising but never delivered




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