Update

OK Back now - went and made yet another coffee! Gosh their commission ballsup made us laugh so much. Its now from 2+1% so if you pay up front you get the low rate - otherwise its 5 or 7.5% but no idea how they distinguish that! The funny thing is they put signs up stating its selling at 2% - but seeing as they have no idea how to value anything the price is still too high!

Yes very confusing for buyers and we get many that just go home completely bamboozled by it all!

And the QUALITY of buyers is soo poor - cant remember the last time any of them actually had money - they all after full finance on the property

Oh and yes ok we will let Jeansis and fibby in - but the guys (who have seemingly disappeared to the same pool as Smiley) take the final vote!

Oh and Iremember their summer tent thing - do you remember that one? I saw this thing orangey colour from my office window (4th floor cos I dont want walk ins with towels under their arms) and facing towards Fuengirola and thought the coast was on fire! Then read it was them.

Stangely enough most visitors were peeps living here after the freebies!

The agents who paid a fortune were righly piddled off as well.

Ladies (and Gents)

I would like to re-assure you that as a part of our business setup and charges, I open an eyelid for 20% commission and only get out of bed if I'm guaranteed minimum 60% commission....otherwise what is the point. Now the best way to maximise profits, margin and commission is to let those seeking a property make their own way to a property, get the next door neighbour to let them in and ask them if they don't mind taking a disposable camera with them for pictures, this saves on brochure costs etc and if they want to negotiate, I'll reduce the service fees by  £1.99 to cover the cost of the camera, but we do draw the line at the processing costs as these can be astronomical. If a property is too expensive for them we then 'sell' them a percentage of the room and sell the rest to someone else as part of a property share, this makes us double-bubble as we then get to manage the diary for the bathroom which we charge by the hour. Again, the kitchen can also be diarised for a small charge to avoid conflict.

Please feel free to ring us to discuss further but take note, if we need to call you back, we'll reverse the charges

(oh....if only we really did business this way, how fun the world would be !!!!!!!!!)

Darren

You could make that 100% if you ask them to bring a flask with them

I should be charging for this :-)

Nah - dont want to be accused of ripping the customers off! (I leave that to the big boys)

I have learnt one thing today, apart from the fact that the upstairs of my house WAS knee deep in filth as I thought, Agents have the best sense of humour on this site!

Thanks Guys & Gals, for bringing us some smiles! (and for letting me & JanSis squat! (Well, not in that way, in Agency terms of course)!

Back to being quiet again.......

Darren,

Tch tch!

I did take Property mag with me, but not much to read in there............

he he!

At least you had a good substitute if you ran out of Andrex. !!!!!

Enuff toilet humour now.....!

Looks like all the agents go home at 4.30pm haydngj

Else they are too scared too reply, your Avatar looks scary, just like a.............. Time Share Shark!

be

Hi guys, Im back. Yes I left at just b4 5pm our time as fed up! Went to Las Canadas shopping centre to get a new home phone and a gadget to check the tyre pressures for the kids scooters.

Then went to the gym and worked out the weeks frustrations. Just eaten and the bloody footies on tv, so thought I would catch up with the forum as Im out of office all day tomorrow!

No - Im not timeshare. Im proud to say in all my 12 years here on the cds, never did timeshare in any form, telesales or sold any off plan! All resales and in a different format.

Still love your sharky avatar!

What side is the agents confessions on?