The new look SADM

I'm posting this in response to Bob's message on another thread regarding the downsizing of SADM and the better it would be having just one golf course etc.....so lets help build a new SADM.................I'll start

• no longer two golf courses as planned, instead a 9-hole pitch and putt course
• no longer a fancy 'futuristic' club house but a 'butty-wagon' next to the hut where you return your clubs.
• no restaurants........please refer to previous suggestion

...............the rest i leave up to you all to create some festive cheer !

Here goes......

• Golf course will be 18 holes after all...., Crazy golf that is.
• Equestrian centre will now be a donkey derby track, with all local asses invited.
• Views will be magnificent as there will be no buildings higher than four foot allowed. Some tents may need modification.
• We will boast the deepest well in the world where you can all share your water from.
• Power will be generated by a crack team of hamsters.
• You will be at one with nature, all local wildlife will be close by (particularly goats).
• It will be a gated community, there will be a wooden one at the front, however, due to spiraling costs there will be no fence.....

More amendments to follow shortly........ 

1/   The golf course will be 4 holes. [no more than 10 feet apart] San Jose say this is NOT because of lack of funding, it is to be golf friendly for those of us like me that cannot play golf.

2/   Fewer houses will be built but still with communal pools but they will be the 4 foot wide blow up type, once again NOT because of lack of funding but because San Jose feel the complex should be pool friendly and every family should have their own one.

3/   San Jose say that there WILL be street lighting but it will be the "candle type" and this also is not due to lack of funding but to be environmentally friendly and save on power. Also ALL residents must give to San Jose a Candle Guarantee [required by spanish law] so that if the residents do not replace them when they have burnt out, San Jose can recover the cost of them having to replace them.

4/   There will be one large shop erected on the site and it will act as a bank, news agent, bar, restaurant, doctors, dentist, lawyers,keep fit gym, brothel, and many other things, and this as well is not due to lack of funding but to be convenience friendly.

5/   Finally, for all of these wonderfully FRIENDLY facilities, you will be expected to pay a NOMINAL yearly charge of €10,000 per household to San Jose, as they think they have now earned the right to be classed as:  San Jose FRIENDLY!

   Inspite of all the well thought out things above, i still want my B........dy money back.      Bob.

So, the hose pipe from the Mayor's house, which some mocked, will be sufficient to supply the entire development after all?

Fin.

Whats that got to do with Festive Cheer on this thread?

 Bob.

Hey Bob,

Your paragraph four looks suspiciously like Tescos, do you know something we don't. 

Hee hee..

Lest we forget ISWMFMB.

Redman.

Your right, on a closer look, it does, except Tesco's is not really up-market, it does not have a Brothel.

                                      Bob.

Oh bugs.. that's my change of career plan gone within a day.. I was going to try for the position of Madam!  Mart says im already one tho so hey ho.

Fin made the hose pipe from the mayors house gag some time ago .I think there is more truth in a lot of what he has been saying than we know .SJ/HdT are desperate to off load this development for more reasons than we know .SADM is known in certain circles ,legal.political,town hall etc as The white Elephant they new it would never be built and so did SJ .

so to keep the  thread  light hearted lets have a safari park with Elephants yes ! great big white ones .It gives me no comfort to know my source within the company was right all along.and so was FIN .Regards JA

Julie.

Point taken but now lets stick to what this thread was supposed to be which is a Festive Cheer, started by Darren.

                 Bob.

I have some advanced notice of the new site, from my 'mole' within the San Jose company.  After looking closely at the brand new plans i can reveal the new look site, there are some funding and investment opportunities for 2009.

The golf course has been kept at 18 holes...........these holes will be placed at the side of the road,  at night  they can then hold the flares on sticks to light the main highway into the small estate of houses.

I say small estate of houses, the houses now will number around 50............to match the number of SARC members available to pay the cuurent sale prices.

The houses will be a little smaller than first planned but the good news is that this scaled down property allows a  new suppliers of materials to be used, now revealed to be Leggo. 

'Key ready' properties has been reclassified.  This now means when the key is ready and a front door with a lock is available.  The houses will be supplied later, when your cheque has been cashed and all other uses for your money have been explored, ranging from directors holidays, buying nappies and baby clothes to sponsoring the local football team, also this has been scaled down to a subbuteo team.

The swimming pools are re-located to a short distance away.............and re-named, ,the sea,......Your houses will be only 15 minutes from the sea (by telephone).

The on site entertainment will comprise of a cinema, called 'the DVD', a host of shopping opportunities, called 'the internet', and a local pub, called 'the off licence' around 5 miles away in the village.

Usual contractual implications apply.....ie When they work out the completion dates for the houses you will have to add 5 years onto this for your records.  During the build you will have all the sophisticated levels of communication you would expect from a superior company using modern technology, a letter every 2 years or so.

So..things are looking up, at last..........when i get more info i wil pass this on