Just something really to think about..............

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As long as you follow Monday through to Friday you can indulge over the weekend.

 

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:She  is pregnant, he had just saved her from
a fire in  her house, rescuing her by carrying
her out  of the house into her front yard,
while he continued to fight the  fire.

When he finally got done putting the fire out,
he sat  down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the   Charlotte , North Carolina newspaper, noticed her in the distance  looking at the fireman

He saw her walking straight toward  the  fireman and  wondered what she was going to do.

As he raised his camera, she  came up to the tired man who  had saved her life and the lives of her babies  and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.  

Scroll down for photograph.

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Wisdom From Senior Citizens

1. I started with nothing. I still have most of it. 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. 5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. 9. The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging. 10. I tried to get a life once, but they told me they were out of stock. 11. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway though. 12. It was so different before everything changed. 13. Some day's you're the dog, and some day's you're the hydrant. 14. Nostalgia isn't what it use to be. 15. Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident. 16. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle. 17. I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few. 18. Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. 19. It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. 20. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 21. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun. 22. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 23. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. 24. Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run (he hates that). 25. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). 26. When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess. 27. If you are living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seatbelt. 28. There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the dead. 29. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 30. A closed mouth gathers no feet. 31. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 32. Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere. 33. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney. 34. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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The Cracked Pot




A water bearer in India had two large pots; one hung on each end of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. 

  Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. However, the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. 

  After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the Water Bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." 

  "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" 

  "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. 

  The Water Bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." 

  Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. 

  Nevertheless, at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again, it apologized to the bearer for its failure. 

  The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That is because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you have watered them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." 

  Each of us has our own unique flaws. We are all cracked pots. However, if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table.

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Internet Compulsion
The bed's aren't made, the dishes can wait,
the bills are due and the mortgage is late.

The socks aren't darned, dinner is burned
The dog has fleas -- and my friends feel spurned.

The garden is ready, it's time to plant
But right this moment, I really can't.

'HTML' and close that tag
Farther behind I seem to lag.

I'm clicking and linking and all that stuff
Life on the internet is really tough.

Send and receive and check eMail
"Come to bed" I hear them wail.

St. Peter may be waiting at the Golden Gate,
I hate to disappoint him -- but I'm gonna be late.

But, bottom line, what can I say,
My cyber friends just make my day.

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?   If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?"   "I'm four and a half!"   You're never thir ty-six and a half.   You're four and a half, going on five!    That's the key!!

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?"   "I'm gonna be 16!"  You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!  And then the greatest day of your life . . . you  BECOME 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21.   YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30.   Oooohh, what happened there?   Makes you sound like bad milk!  He TURNED; we h ad to throw him out.  There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling.  What's wrong?  What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30,  then you're PUSHING 40.  Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.  Before you know it, you RE ACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!!   You MAKE   IT to 60.   You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!  After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime and it doesn't end there.  Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.   "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends.   The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.  Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.  "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."   And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.  Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.  The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.  Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbie s, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health : If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.   If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips.  Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love th at you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Do share this with someone.  We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
 

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This is an actual letter sent to American company Proctor and Gamble
regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the
first paragraph...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your "Always" maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their  features. Why, without the Leak Guard
Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and
down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.
Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it
is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I
feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't.

Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a
few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into
what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."
Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told
her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
"Have a Happy Period."

Are you fuc*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
"happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and
Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to
the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to
end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap
a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like "Put down the Hammer" or
"Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bull sh*t.

And that's a promise I will keep.

Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

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An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which

she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a

 full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived

only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and

a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
B ut the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that

 it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman

one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all

the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path,

 but not on the other pot's side?"
"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds

 on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."
"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.
Each of us has our own unique flaw. B ut it's the cracks and flaws we each have

 that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to

smell the flower s on your side of the path!

More, I spent ages messing about with this, and now it's a bit 'all over the place'............

.....and the next step will be removing it !! So I've left it as it is !!!!

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

This message was last edited by Karensun on 10/27/2007.

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Hi Karen, I'd seen that one before & thought THAT'S the way to look at life. Can you, maybe, edit it so text's smaller as it needs to be scrolled right to left & back to read it. I know sometimes it's not possible to change the text size however.

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Posted in the bucket but thought it would be better in here so more will try it & leave bucket to bucketeers, as it was meant for.

WOW !!

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS	RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic	uses feeling
detail oriented	'big picture' oriented
facts rule	imagination rules
words and language	symbols and images
present and past	present and future
math and science	philosophy & religion
can comprehend	can 'get it' (i.e. meaning)
knowing	believes
acknowledges	appreciates
order/pattern perception	spatial perception
knows object name	knows object function
reality based	fantasy based
forms strategies	presents possibilities
practical	impetuous
safe	risk taking

_______________________


This message was last edited by morerosado on 10/27/2007.

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.   I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"   Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.   After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"   It always cheered me up.   When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.   One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.   A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.   I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.   Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.   Then I called Asshole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who y ou are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."   Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.   Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. In Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.   NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work Every Day is a Good Day...Some Better than Others...

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This message was last edited by morerosado on 10/27/2007.

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 There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

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 AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
 
 Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
 Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!
 
 Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
 Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
 This is how it manifests:
 I decide to water my garden.
 
 As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
 I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
 
 As I start toward the garage,
 I notice mail on the porch table that
 I brought up from the mail box earlier.
 
 I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
 I lay my car keys on the table,
 put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
 and notice that the can is full.
 
 So, I decide to put the bills back
 on the table and take out the garbage first.
 
 But then I think,
 since I'm going to be near the mailbox
 when I take out the garbage anyway,
 I may as well pay the bills first.

 I take my check book off the table,
 and see that there is only one check left.
 
 My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
 so I go inside the house to my desk where
 I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
 
 I'm going to look for my checks,
 but first I need to push the Coke aside
 so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
 
 The Coke is getting warm,
 and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
 As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
 a vase of flowers on the counter
 catches my eye--they need water.
 
 I put the Coke on the counter and
 discover my reading glasses that
 I've been searching for all morning.
 
 I decide I better put them back on my desk,
 but first I'm going to water the flowers.
 
 I set the glasses back down on the counter,
 fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
 Someone left it on the kitchen table.
 
 I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
 I'll be looking for the remote,
 but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
 so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
 but first I'll water the flowers.
 
 I pour some water in the flowers,
 but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
 
 So, I set the remote back on the table,
 get some towels and wipe up the spill.
 
 Then, I head down the hall trying to
 remember what I was planning to do.
 
 At the end of the day:
 
 the car isn't washed
 
 the bills aren't paid
 
 there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
 
 the flowers don't have enough water,
 
 there is still only 1 check in my check book,
 
 I can't find the remote,
 
 I can't find my glasses,
 
 and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
 
 Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
 I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
 and I'm really tired.
 
 I realize this is a serious problem,
 and I'll try to get some help for it,
 but first I'll check my e-mail....
 
 Do me a favor.
 Forward this message to everyone you know,
 because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
 
 Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
 

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  HARVARD READING TEST

 Take a few minutes to try this, you may be surprised by the results
 
This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard
University

 Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
 
The average person over 40 years of age can't do it!
 
 
1. This is this cat
 2. This is is cat
 3. This is how cat
 4. This is to cat
 5. This is keep cat
 6. This is an cat
 7. This is old cat
 8. This is fart cat
 9. This is busy cat
 10. This is for cat
 11. This is forty cat
 12. This is seconds cat
 
Now go back and read aloud the third word in each line from the top down

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Can't do it sober, but sure I can do it later on tonight :0)

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Morerosado,

You definitely have that AAADD thing. You posted the same thing (albeit in a different font) on 27th October !!!!

Noreen

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Noreen, well noted!  LOL

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