WRITER'S FORUM

Good for You. Writing I Mean
Saturday, May 28, 2011

There is bashfulness about some writers; it’s as though they feel the need to apologise for their quirkiness. Writing is therapeutic just as being an artist is. By creating imagery the writer is doing with words what the artist does with canvas, paint and brush strokes.

The writer can do much more besides; he or she can educate, motivate and inspire. The author can create feelings and empathise with emotions. By expressing themselves the essayist can involve others so their art form is shared forever and without barriers. There is a sense of satisfaction in telling a story or recounting experiences; how you were affected by it. Think of the books that shaped your life.

It is not essential for you to be interested in being published. About half my clients just want the satisfaction of setting their story down for posterity. Think of it as you might a photographic collection. As a leisure pursuit writing is far more practical and cost effective than most other self indulgences. A 50,000 word novel or life story will set you back about €1,000 for it to be ghost-written to publishing standards. It can then be e-published free of charge so others can read it.

If you wish to publish it as a conventional book 1,000 copies will set you back about €1,500; less for a 20,000 word novelette or biography. Thanks to the internet there are many ways you can publish your book; e-books have overtaken conventional book publishing.

Compare these modest prices with the money people spend on alternative self indulgences. A photographer friend paid that much for his camera. Artists’ paraphernalia doesn’t come cheap; nor does travel to various locations. From motor sports to learning a language; para-gliding, travel to collecting; all these and many other pastimes cost far more than having one’s book published.

All they have to show for their extravagance are the photographs and their personal memories. The author has a book with their title, name and photograph on the cover. This is the time and occasion when they are no longer regarded as quirky but as a real life achiever: It is time to roll out that red carpet.

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Can Writing be Profitable?
Friday, May 27, 2011

It is difficult for new authors to evaluate the costs of bringing their story up to retail standard. After all it isn’t a buying decision we are used to. If it is to be published in conventional form the total costs incurred will be about 50 percent of the cover price. For example 1,000 paperbacks at €7.95 each will involve an outlay in the region of €1,600 for ghost-writing; about the same for publishing. There are marketing costs too but the profit isn’t to be sniffed at; and there is the fame too. Can you handle it?

These days publishers like Google, authorhouse.co.uk and lulu.com do the lot including marketing . All you do is cough up and then watch the bunce rolling in. Customers even pay with their plastc. It is getting easier all the time. Sure there is an outlay but remember; if you were to find a publisher you would receive only about 10 percent of the cover price.

If your book is a small guide it can be marketed through local advertising, online forums, free classifieds and blogs like this. Perhaps you have skills or experiences that can be passed on? It is useful if your story is likely to appeal to a community or profession. If so you have a ready market.

You might write about your experiences as a police officer, a midwife, armed forces; or you might have marketing skills. Such booklets can be sold through in-house publications. Humour sells well.

One of my writing assignments was for a dog; no kidding: ‘Polo. My Story’. This was a puppy dog’s tail (sorry) about his awful experiences in a dog’s home and his eventual rescue. The lady author planned to sell it through animal charities. Her outlay was just €90 ghost-writing and I suppose 1,000 copies €200 but she sells them at €2.95 each. If she gives sellers a euro each she has made €1,700.

I am a bit out of touch on prices but let’s say 1,000 booklet guides or professional recollections at €1,000 but they sell at €4.95 each. Not bad! Sure beats loitering on roundabouts.

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Did I Really Write That?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011

When the subject of his memoirs came up former U.S. President Ronald Reagan wryly remarked: “I hear it’s a terrific book. One of these days I am going to read it myself.”

Of course the statesman hadn’t written it but he was hardly alone in employing a ghost writer. Does anyone really believe that barely literate celebrities have the time or skills needed to set down their life story?

There have been embarrassing mishaps. Big Brother personality, Pete Bennett, was pulled up sharp when during an interview he expressed surprise at the contents of ‘his own book.’ His publicist tartly commented: “You really should have read it, Pete.”

John Blake, of Blake Publishing estimates that as many as 80 percent of celebrity books are ghosted. Walter Winchell was America’s top newspaper columnist but it was Herman Klurfield who for twenty-nine years toiled as his ghost writer. For many having one’s own co-writer is regarded as a status symbol.

The list of names adorning books is often impressive but their true authors are rarely known. Earl Conrad ghosted Errol Flynn’s My Wicked, Wicked Ways. Dorothy J. Mills penned the output of sports historian Harald Seymour. One would need to wade through 529 pages of Hilary Clinton’s autobiography to discover that her speechwriter was responsible for most of it. In 1957 John F. Kennedy was accused of using a ghost for his Profiles of Courage and Why England Slept.

Many well-known authors head writers’ syndicates that churn out novels on an industrial scale. Those whose ideas are completed by ghosts include Andrew Neiderman, Tom Clancy, Robert Ludlum, Jeffrey Archer, Naomi Campbell, and Clive Cussler. Clancy’s publishers say: “Tom Clancy creates the ideas for these series and the writers execute Clancy’s ideas. All are subject to his supervision.”

It is thought that 40 percent of books are ghosted but is it ethical? If there were no co-writers there would be few books. We take advice fixing our cars, having our photographs taken; why stop there? There are hundreds of fascinating people with interesting stories to tell or experiences to pass on. If a ghost brings their stories to life everyone wins. ©

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Write From the Heart to the Heart
Monday, May 23, 2011

WRITE FROM THE HEART TO THE HEART

Wanabe writers must never allow themselves to be discouraged through fear that their grammar falls short of perfection. If ‘correct’ usage of the language, which is pidgin European anyway, was essential, there would be precious little for us to read. My advice is the same as Beethoven’s; write from the heart to the heart. Write as you speak and you will communicate delightfully.

Just as people are discouraged from learning a language by ‘tutors’ who persist in teaching not language but syntax, many are unnecessarily put off writing. This is a pity; it is unlikely that language tutors ever wrote anything that might be considered popular. Sadly their grammatical nit-picking puts people off from learning a language or putting pen to paper.

Writing fashion, style and perception changes constantly. Even so-called experts disagree among themselves. Not so long ago one would be chastised for not capitalising the word, internet. The term e-mail has become acceptable as email, and so it goes on. Remember, you write for the masses, not for the soi-disant experts.

Those of a certain age will remember the song, Old Man River sung by Louis Armstrong. This great crooner sang it in his wonderful Negro spiritual way. In its original form it became a firm favourite. Naturally the lyrics were considered an abomination by pedants of correct English usage. This inspired a take on the song in which the singer was constantly interrupted by a hectoring scholar, whose version of the song was hilarious. Remember, the world’s greatest writers had very little schooling. Winston Churchill was considered a dunce by his tutors.

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Eats Shoots and Leaves
Monday, May 23, 2011

EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES

'No matter that you have a PhD and have read all of Henry James twice,' writes Lynne Truss in her bestselling book, Eats, Shoots And Leaves; 'If you persist in writing: 'Good food at it's best', you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave.'

What is the point of writing the perfect story; brochure or website copy if the written content is filled with schoolboy howlers? Eats Shoots and Leaves could explain a Panda’s favourite lunch. On the other hand it could describe what a gunslinger did to express his dissatisfaction of a meal or saloon service.

Jim Knight was a Cambridge-educated Member of Parliament. The blog he used to communicate with constituents was littered with poor punctuation and spelling mistakes. The word ‘received’ was spelled ‘receieved’; archaeological appears as archeaological. This MP was the British Schools Minister.

If those who pay you the courtesy of purchasing your book or considering your product are offended by slapdash grammar it sends out a clear message: We are a sloppy outfit.

The reason for badly written copy is that the writer cannot see the faults so presumes there aren’t any. In return for a kindness shown I offered to correct an estate agent’s web content free of charge. He declined as his wife had written it and thought it perfect. Would you buy a villa from a company whose website looks like it was pulled together by a twelve-year old?

All languages are in a constant state of change. This includes writing style but it is important to stick to basics. My advice is to get a second opinion from someone who can write well. That will cost much less than a disappointed reader or lost client.

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Writer's Block is Easy to Remove
Sunday, May 22, 2011

WRITER’S BLOCK IS EASY TO REMOVE

Any story long or short is based on five times ‘W’: Who, Why, What, When and Where; not necessarily in that order. Your story is about you; your background, what inspired you or led to the crossroads and dramas of your life. Why: Your aims, ambitions, feelings, achievements; successes and failures; when and where it happened.

The only difference between talking and writing is for the first you use your tongue and for writing you use your finger. Simply write as if you were telling friends your story. Think tongue = finger.

It isn’t essential to start at the beginning. You can start at the middle; get the reader intrigued in the high dramas of your life. You can then drip-feed the bookworm as to where it all began and why.

Keep trivia to a minimum; it is filler only.

Feelings matter; express them. Readers want to empathise; they will imagine how they would have handled your situation.

Ignore writer’s block. Just begin to write even if it is nonsense. You can always re-write it later. Writing it like pausing at the pool’s edge; once you’re in you realise it is fun and you don’t wish to stop. Let him cook his own dinner.

A clear author photograph helps the reader to identify better with the storyline.

Don’t worry about spelling and syntax, grammar, flow and flair. Writing to retail standards is a gift, which few people have. Even Jeffrey Archer employs a ghost-writer. 40 percent of all books are ghosted; 80 percent of celebrity bios. Just tell it your way as if you were writing to a friend who really wants to know.

The ghost re-writes it; corrects; edits, lengthens, shortens, adds flair, character and gives it that essential page-turning formula until you are both happy.

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