| The Comments |
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urggg......that is horrible.
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You just had to click though, goodstich, didn't you, even with my distinct warning ?  It's your own fault. It's no more rude than many filthy jokes posted on here.
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.........whooo, bit touchy this morning?
i dont mind filth if funny, but just thought that was a bit naff. Each to his/her own.
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No, not touchy, goodstich, not at all, just passing comment, as are you. Lots of stuff is "naff" in here, as you say each to their own.
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2 hampsters in a bar, they have been drinking all day and are becoming increasingly loud and rowdy. They begin to argue and swap insults. Eventually the first hampster slurs '' well get this, i've slept with your mother!'' to which the second hampster replies '' go home dad, you're drunk!''
Jo
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President Bush is sitting in the oval office when in walks his chief of staff who says
i have some bad news Mr president.
go on then, what 's the news says George?
Mr president yesterday two brazilian soldiers were killed in an ambush in baghdad.
George is beside himself with grief upon hearing the news and is dashing around the room cursing and threatening to send extra troops.
the chief of staff pipes up, what is your problem George?
we have lost tanks,aircraft,ships and marines before and you have not given a stuff,
why do you care so much about this loss, he said.
george replies,
remind me again how many is a Brazilian.....................
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Please read this... I usually don't send these things but it happened to me yesterday!! ?
WARNING TO ALL WOMEN!!
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU..... ? IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOUR MOTHER YOUR SISTER OR YOUR DAUGHTER...
The strangest thing happened to me at lunch today I was sitting at a local outdoor cafe having lunch by myself and two men came and sat down at my table. I gave them the death look, but they just casually stayed at my table and wouldn't leave me alone. I shined up my ring on my married finger, then placed my hand on the table and I hinted to them that I was married and that I was not interested in them.
Luckily for me they got the hint and left, but thankfully the whole thing was captured on the Cafe's camera. I'm sending you this picture as a warning... just in case they try and pick you up too. Honestly, some men think they are God's gift to women.
This message was last edited by Candyfloss on 7/24/2007.
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So glad you didn't succomb Gina. 
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Hi all,
I actually met Brad Pitt and Guy Ritchie once when they were researching the film "Snatch".
One of the main Characters was based on a guy i knew and i was selling his property for him,he actually bought a bigger place from me with the kickback he got from the film,very nice guy but also very scary.
He never mentioned you Gina,must have slipped his mind!!!
Regards
Georgia
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www.taylorlandandpropertygroup.co.uk
still here after all these years!
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Hi Georgia,
How bizarre, he never mentioned you either 
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Morerosado,
Of course he mentioned you, sends you his lurve!!!!!!!!!!
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An English MP was on a goodwill visit to Scotland and whilst there, he visited a Glasgow hospital. He was taken to a ward full of elderly men. Approaching the first bed he said "Hello, how are you?" The patient replied "Wee sleekit cowrin' tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie, thou need na start awa sae hasty, WI bickering brattle! I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee, WI murd'ring pattle! Nonplussed, the MP smiled and moved to the next bed but before he said anything the occupant of the bed began "Ye banks and braes o’ bonnie Doon, how can ye blume sae fair? How can ye chant, ye little birds, and I sae fu' O care!" Moving quickly on he approached the third bed, whose occupant began to rant "O wad some Pow’r the giftie gi’ us tae see oursels as ithers see us." Confused, the MP turned to the doctor escorting him and asked "Is this the psychiatric ward?" To which the doctor replied
"No, it's the Serious Burns Unit."
YOU CAN GROAN NOW!!! Enjoy the weekend! x
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail looks up and says 'What the hell was that all about?'
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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www.alandaluscarhire.com
www.vera-apartment.com
www.verathalassa.es
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Things we’d like to say:
Do I look like a people person?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER - my work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
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www.alandaluscarhire.com
www.vera-apartment.com
www.verathalassa.es
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This one is not really a joke but I thought it was good:
An English professor wrote the following words on the chalkboard (this must be really old - there are interactive whiteboards now!)
"A woman without her man is nothing."
He asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All the male students wrote "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the female students wrote " A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Noreen
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www.alandaluscarhire.com
www.vera-apartment.com
www.verathalassa.es
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Subject: First Aid
> A woman sitting in an Auckland restaurant suddenly began to cough. After
> a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two
> locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
>
> Kin ya swaller? asked Kenzie The woman signalled 'No!', desperately
> shaking her head.
>
> Kin ya breathe?" asked Brian. The woman shook her head No!!!
>
> With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress,
> yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her
> bum. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the
> obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
>
> Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
> Brian said in admiration "Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that bloody Hind
> Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it."
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A little girl from Weston Super Mare says to her Mummy, who's just finished the washing up, "Mummy Mummy why are your hands so soft?"
Her Mummy replies, " Because i'm only thirteen"
This message was last edited by johnone on 8/1/2007.
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Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres.
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A little girls asks her Mummy. If the washing up liquid keeps your skin soft and wrinkle free, why dont you soak your head in it??
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www.calanova.webeden.co.uk
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