| The Comments |
A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal
companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus
clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely
Welshman.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep,growled fiercely until the
man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but
there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the
man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening
beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a
warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings' again.
He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and
realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman,
cautiously, and whispered in her ear,
'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'
_______________________
Mick & Pam 
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I know that there's rather a lot of these, but they are soooooooo good, I wanted to share them !!
Why We Love Children
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it
Was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child
Innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
Didn't move'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later.......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
Finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in
And out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
Sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
Tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
Asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
Tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'The big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
Children's' sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
Down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
Microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
Old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
Shower.
She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
Tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
7. A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you
Teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that
Son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them
Was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... And so Chicken Little
Went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
Falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
Farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
With the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're
Too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her,
'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
_______________________
 ' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker ! 
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Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School .
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell
me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?'
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, 'Who is our Lord and
Savior?'
But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once a gain, Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again
said,'Very good,' and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?'
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn
thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'
The nun fainted !!!!! |
_______________________
Mick & Pam
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Subject: Fwd: New Supermarket
A new supermarket opened near my house.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
>>
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As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.
Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.
Recalling some long ago story of a priest who made an oath to 'care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.
Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this persons condition.
Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out, reach out!'
So I did.......
I Won't be at Church this week.
_______________________
Kev & Jess
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night
he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas With his
Dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual
Dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row
Stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough Of your stupid blond jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women
That way? What does the color of a person's hair have
To do with her worth as a human being?
Its guys like you who keep women like me from being
Respected at work and in the community and from reaching
Our full potential as a person.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate
Discrimination against not only blonds, but women in
General...and all in the name of humour!"
As the embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize
The blond woman yells
"You stay out of this mate!
I'm talking to that little b****** on your knee !!!!!!!!
This message was last edited by miguelcarr on 6/11/2008.
_______________________
Mick & Pam
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INTERNATIONAL APPRENTICE COMPETITION
An English man, a Scottish man, and an Irish man are down to the final three in “The Apprentice”.
Sir Alan Sugar can’t decide who he wants to hire as the competition is so close, so decides to call each man in separately to answer one question, who ever answers the question the best is hired for the £100,000 deal.
First in is the English man,
“ A woman is lying naked on her side in bed with her back to her husband, her husband is lying next to her facing her gorgeous body” says Sugar “ the question is, what is the mans name”
“That is impossible to tell,” says the English man after 10 minutes of serious thought
“Then you’re fired,” says Sugar send in the Scott.
In comes the Scottish man and again,
“ A woman is lying naked on her side in bed with her back to her husband, her husband is lying next to her facing her gorgeous body” says Sugar “ the question is, what is the mans name”
“That is impossible to tell,” says the Sott's man after 20 minutes of serious thought.
“Then you’re fired,” says Sugar send in the Irish man.
Finally in comes the Irish man.
“ A woman is lying naked on her side in bed with her back to her husband, her husband is lying next to her facing her gorgeous body” says Sugar “ the question is, what is the mans name”
The Irish man thinks hard and after 30 minutes Sugar asks him “ Paddy we haven’t got all day have you got an answer”
Paddy says “Sir Alan, I have 2 possible answers but not to sure which one to go with”
“Just give me the 2 of them Paddy” says Sugar
“Well ok then says Paddy,…….. Willie Turner….or Willie Nailer…”
“You’re Hired”
_______________________
Kev & Jess
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WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.
Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.
A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".
Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.
When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
_______________________
Quite frankly m'dear, I don't give a damn!
www.herbalmarbella.com
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A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS.
'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.'
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
'FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'POWERGEN' WRITTEN ON MY
FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'
'FINE!'
THEN THE WIFE ASKS, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT'
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
'FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'FRIDGIDAIRE'
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'
'FINE!' SHE SAYS 'THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK'
'I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS', HE SAYS, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'TAYLOR WOODROW'
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I'M OFF TO THE PUB!!!!'
SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS................
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED..
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, 'HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?'
SHE SAID, 'WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
WELL HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO
BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.'
HE SAID,
'SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?'
SHE REPLIED, 'HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE 'MR KIPLING' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'
_______________________
Mick & Pam
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Subject: A trip to Starbucks
The other day I went to Starbucks for coffee and I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I upped the ante and called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a "doughnut-eating Gestapo jerk."
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I rode to Starbucks on my bicycle.
The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08."
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
My doctors tell me it is important to laugh!
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Q. How do you make a small fortune in Spain?
A. Start with a large one.
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I was recently diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my flower tubs in the front garden.
As I go to turn on the hose I look over at my car and decide it needs
washing.
I go to get the car keys from the porch and then notice the post on the
porch table.
I decide to go through the post before I wash the car.
I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the
table, and notice that the bin is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish
first.
But then I think, I can run down to the post-box when I take out the
rubbish, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque
left.
My other cheque book is in the computer desk, so I go inside the house to my
desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my other cheque book, but first I need to push the
Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm so I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it
cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the window
ledge catches my eye -they need water.
I put the Coke on the window ledge and discover my reading glasses that I've
been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my computer desk, but first I'm going to
water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down on the window ledge, fill a container with water
and suddenly spot the TV remote. I must have left it on the kitchen table.
I realise that tonight when I go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the
flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but some spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get a towel and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The flower tubs aren't watered;
The car isn't washed;
The bills aren't paid;
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the window ledge;
The flowers in the vase don't have enough water;
There is still only one cheque in my cheque book;
I can't find the remote ;
I can't find my glasses;
I have absolutely NO idea what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to work out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled
because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.
I realise this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.
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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls had begun to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. ......................
.............he took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
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THE LOVE DRESS
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally
naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. 'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.' The daughter-in-law answered. ' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed. 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law
explained. 'Love dress? But you're naked!' 'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.
'Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. ' What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'
_______________________
' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker !
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A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. The sheepdog ever protective of the sheep growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the manhad ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he
slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening...red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings'
again. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and
realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman,
cautiously, and whispered in her ear ....................................................
'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?
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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?
>
>
>
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
>
>
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same m onastery.
>
>
The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.
>
>
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.
>
>
The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,
We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
>
>
The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
>
The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
>
>
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
>
>
The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.
We shall now show you the way to the sound.
>
>
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.
>
>
>
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?
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>
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
>
>
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. Theman requests the key to the stone door.
>
>
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...
>
>
>...silver, topaz, and amethyst.
>
>
Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door.
>
>
>
The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight
>
. . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
>
>
DON'T SWEAR AT ME; I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME!
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You're ruddy BONKERS, Flossy.
_______________________
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year
old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to
come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID
ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?''
No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it
out.'
scroll down
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like the little shit.
_______________________
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Jake wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin
next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
clean. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: 'Honey,
breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!'
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks
'Son...what happened last night?'
'Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some
furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into
the door.'
'So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?'
His son replies, 'Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, you tart,
I'm married!
Broken furniture £85.26
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Red Rose bud £3.00
Two Aspirins £0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time........Priceless
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----- A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually
>> attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little
>> restaurant.
>> So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
>> 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' ..and
>> indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the
>> wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided
>> to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering
>> nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to
>> the gentleman.
>>
>> The note read:
>>
>> 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your
>> garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants '
>>
>>
>> After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own
>> in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed
>> him
>> to deliver it to the lady.
>>
>>
>> It read:
>>
>> 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I
>> have a
>> Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in
>> my several garages; I have a beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a
>> 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars
>> in my
>> bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as
>> you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.'
WHO IS THIS MAN ??
_______________________
' Do unto others as you would be done by'
Now a non-smoker !
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